Crushed by Inertia

GREETINGS FROM THE BRAFFIES!

Lons here, commenting live from Crushed by Inertia Central here at the Los Angeles Arrowhead Verizon America West Wells Fargo Pond of Anaheim, live-blogging the 1st Annual Braffy Awards!

The stars have all started to assemble for the big show, which will be kicking off in just a few hours. So let's head right over to the Red Carpet and see who's here...

Why, it's Braffy namesake Zach Braff!



Zach, I see you've brought an entire harem of nubile young women along with you. Care to comment?

"Well, one is my date, and the rest are chaperones. I wouldn't want the girl to think I was just bringing her here to get in her pants, right?"

Why would she think that?

"Well, I mean, you've put on an entire award show to honor me, right?"

Oh, did I say that? Because these are the awards for the Worst Person Alive.

"You voted me Worst Person Alive? Just for being on 'Scrubs'?"

No, we'll reveal the actual winner in a short while (although it should be patently obvious by now...) I just named the award after you.

"Why?"

Well, come on. Garden State really sucked.

"No, I think it was...Okay, yeah, but don't tell anyone, alright? Most idiots think it's really good."

But I'm posting this on the Internet.

"Oh...Dang..."

Still, I'm looking forward to hearing you introduce the Lifetime Achievement Award later. It's going to John Gibson of Fox News.

"Oh, I love that guy!"

Yeah, great, move along.

Now, let's go live to the Artist's Stage for a rare performnace from Lauryn Hill!



I said, let's go live to the Artist's Stage for a rare performance from the notoriously difficult Lauryn Hill!



Lauryn? Are you still getting dressed?



Oh, I guess she's stuck in heavy traffic. Maybe we'll catch up with her later.

So, anyway, the show will be getting underway in just a little bit, so be sure to refresh this page later on today for more, Live from the Braffies!