Saturday, March 14, 2009

Detroit Schools Left to Fester

This Viceland photo essay is really disturbing. Abandoned Detroit schools left to decompose for decades...Feels like a chilling glimpse of things to come, in some strange way.

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If there's one thing that always amuses me, it's writing that is both sloppy and pedantic at the same time.

If you surf the Internet, you've seen the ads for IQ tests which claim: Barack Obama's IQ is (the numbers vary from 135-171); Joe Biden's is 150; Hillary Clinton's is 155 and so on. Naturally, Republicans are rated much lower and a fake article on the presidents' IQ once claimed that George Bush's IQ was the lowest of all. The ad goes on to ask-Are you smarter than...? Well, I am and I can prove it unlike all these so-called claims of how smart our newly elected president is.

This whole article is glorious. See, because Alicia Colon's thesis is: "I am smarter than Barack Obama." And in the course of "proving" this thesis, she makes a metric ton of logical and grammatical errors.

Care for another example?

"Many of my alleged intelligent friends told me that it was that memoir, Dreams from My Father that convinced them of how bright Obama is."

Alleged friends? She heard a rumor that these people were here friends, yet she's uncertain whether or not the friendship genuinely exists?

Okay, okay, one more...

"Besides how can you conclude that the planet is undergoing rapid climate change when we've only been documenting those records for a few hundred years? The planet was warmer before there were human beings on it."

The planet...was warming...before there were human beings on it...Oh yeah, this person's smarter than the first black president, a graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law School (and a former Constitutional Law professor AND the first black president of the Harvard Law Review).

But is he in Mensa? Case CLOSED.

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Streamy Award Nominees Announced. Congrats to @zadi, @feliciaday, @tayzonday, @alexalbrecht, @garyvee and anyone else I missed!

Lots of great shows among the nominees. On one hand, it's a bit disappointing, conceptually, that SO MANY nominees for web television are stars from...regular television. And movies. Felicia Day aside, shouldn't web shows have their own stars? Otherwise, isn't it just TV that didn't quite make it on to television, as opposed to some new kind of format? But on the other hand, I can't deny that Paul Rudd was hilarious on "Wainy Days," NPH was great in "Dr. Horrible" and though I haven't seen "Gemini Whatever," I'm sure Rosario Dawson was considerably fetching. So I guess the panel behind these selections did the right thing - nominate the best stuff they saw without any kind of outside considerations.
Background and major nominees here:
Full list of nominees here:

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Cursive on Letterman

Saw these guys years ago, at the Fonda I believe. It can be a BIT much at times, but many of their individual songs are great. I didn't even know they had a new album.

(Found by on Twitter)

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Friday, March 13, 2009

Resident Evil 5 Walkthrough - Mahalo

Mahalo walkthroughs are always super-helpful. I've been relying heavily on the "Fallout 3" guidelines for days now.

Our latest is about the new "Resident Evil 5" game. I'm going to try to pick this up some time this week, if I can't borrow the Mahalo copy before then...

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CloFu is Clooney-Flavored Tofu

The George Clooney-flavoured tofu - or CloFu - would be available to all his fans.

PETA wrote to the 47-year-old actor to explain the idea.


“The technology actually exists to take your perspiration and make it into George Clooney-flavoured tofu (CloFu)," they said in a letter.

To quote Doug Benson: " the the S-T-E-Y!"

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Miss May 2009 Crystal McCahill Arrested

She's also been on "Girls Next Door." Plus, a little trivia, she's the daughter of former Playmate Gale Olson! Way more details on the Mahalo page:

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Woz, Vanilla Ice, Shira Lazar and Me on TWIYT #36

36 episodes...amazing. Shira's doing an amazing job, and the special guest in today's episode was all her. That is how you produce!

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Thursday, March 12, 2009

Fart Interrupts City Council

You will not see a more epic video today...guaranteed.

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Meghan McCain on the economy

If she really doesn't understand economic issues, how come she's on TV every day talking about them? Just gracefully decline the opportunity to be interviewed about the economy, if you genuinely don't think you have any kind of grasp on the topic to be discussed, dear. It's not that hard. This is why you rarely see me popping up on the Style network.

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Two Girls Kissing is Totally Sketch

Michael Gallagher may be one of the great geniuses of the YouTube Era. His web show's first video? Interactive Sex. #2? Girls making out. That's called "knowing your audience," folks.

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Elmo and Ricky Gervais Break the Fourth Wall

Does Gervais actually start discussing the Holocaust with Elmo? It's hilariously traumatizing!

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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

On the Carpet with Gary Busey and Larry the Basic Cable Guy

Here's some footage of me talking to the, um, celebs at the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy. In all seriousness, Doug Benson is a really nice dude and HI-LARIOUS. And Gary Busey is crazier than even this video makes him look.

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Frank Miller's Charlie Brown

The Adventures of That Yellow-Shirted Such-and-Such. This is extremely well-done.

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Theory: Chocolate News would still be on the air if it was called Chocolate Rain

I believe in Tay Zonday...

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Perez Hilton: Coming Soon: Plinko Academy

Jada Plinko Smith's controversial school in Calabasas, the New Village Leadership Academy, is thriving!

The actress turned musician turned producer opened the doors to the experimental Scientology Academy last fall after more and more parents requested for their kids to join the home-schooling program Pinkett Smith had started for her two children!

"More and more parents were like, 'Can we come?' Then my house started to fill up. We had like 20 kids and I said, 'We might as well start a school,"' Jada said on the conception of the Academy.

I think that's how Harvard was founded too, right? "Hey, we might as well start a school!"

Based on this article, I can only assume that the Smiths are teaching kids how to discover who they were in past lives or travel to the Omega Quadrant or something. There's no way this is a real school for the learning of actual things. You'd be better off sending your kids to the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good.

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Yale student sues airline for $1M over lost Xbox

A Yale University student from Ohio has filed a lawsuit seeking $1 million from US Airways for a video game console he says was taken from his luggage.

Twenty-one-year-old Jesse Maiman alleges that during a flight from New Haven, Conn., to Cincinnati in December, his Xbox 360 with a specialized hard drive disappeared from his luggage.

Still not sure who to blame in $10 million suits over lack of girlfriend and Cheeto stains on shirt, pants.

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Online Video Demotivational Posters

Well played. They couldn't come up for anything for "Montgomery Flea Market," though? That's one of the all-time greats.

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Monday, March 09, 2009

Fantastic Four Reboot Rumor

They are saying that “word around town” is that 20th Century Fox is looking to reboot the Fantastic Four franchise. The reboot would be a eying a tone that is “less bubble gum” and more along the lines of what Iron Man was, with enough edge to keep fans interested and enough mainstream appeal to find big box office success. And it makes sense, seeing as the two Tim Story directed movies were decidedly goofy, earning mixed reactions from die-hards and casual moviegoers alike.

Yes, please. Not sure it has to go TOO serious, but I'd like to see an FF movie that at least gets Dr. Doom right. One of the all-time great comic book villains...I wasn't really feeling the dude from Nip/Tuck in this part...

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We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Radioactive Penises

Did Juan from Manolith just confirm my theory?

And I quote: "I don't want to sound judgmental here, but if you see "The Watchmen" and feel the need to giggle at the sight of Dr. Manhattan's penis, or comment on how you did not appreciate seeing it later, you kind of need to grow up."

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Imagine No Religion

A wide-ranging study on American religious life found that the Roman Catholic population has been shifting out o of the Northeast to the Southwest, the percentage of Christians in the nation has declined and more people say they have no religion at all.

Fifteen percent of respondents said they had no religion, an increase from 14.2 percent in 2001 and 8.2 percent in 1990, according to the American Religious Identification Survey.

I guess this part was always more likely than that whole "no possessions" part. I's a catchy tune and all...but come on...

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Sunday, March 08, 2009

Hampton Comes Alive

This is so sweet. Live Phish has put all 3 of the new Phish Hampton reunion concerts online for FREE! I am downloading Night 2 right now. Setlist includes Split Open and Melt, Punch You in the Eye, Gumbo, Reba, It's Ice (from my all-time fav Phish studio album, "Rift"), Guelah Papyrus, Lawn Boy, Run Like a goddamn Antelope, Birds of a Feather, Wolfman's Brother, MIke's Song, Character Zero and Day in the Life. EPIC.

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Quick Maturity Check

I don't want to sound judgmental here, but if you see "The Watchmen" and feel the need to giggle at the sight of Dr. Manhattan's penis, or comment on how you did not appreciate seeing it later, you kind of need to grow up. I mean, it's an animated penis. It has a place in the story and a reason to be there. It draws attention to two things:
(1) Dr. Manhattan is god-like, but he's still a real man with a real connection to the human race. His body is not entirely vestigial.
(2) Superheroes are frequently depicted as larger-than-life in comics, whereas "Watchmen" ponders what they would be like if they were, in fact, real people. Seeing Dr. Manhattan's genitals draw us back into this idea, reminding us that his heroics and supernatural abilities are nevertheless seated in a being that is tangible and recognizably human.
 We won't think you're gay just because you looked at a cartoon penis in a film. Grow the F up.

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