Friday, July 10, 2009
Here's the scenario...You're a mixed martial artist who has gained some level of notoriety. You're being interviewed for an Internet video. The host, a comedy lady, tells you she has an idea for a romantic comedy that would star the two of you...
So here's the question: Is it then appropriate to just start dry humping her? I mean, on the one hand, she's just making banter with you for the purposes of an entertainment show, apparently has no desire to engage in any sort of intimate or physical contact with you, and you're being filmed. But on the other hand...I mean, come on..."romantic comedy"...Am I right?
Posted by Lons at 10:12 AM
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
The University of Colorado at Boulder is working with NASA to develop a new communications technology now being tested on the International Space Station, which will extend Earth's Internet into outer space and across the solar system.
Called Disruption Tolerant Networking, or DTN, the new technology will enable NASA and other space agencies around the world to better communicate with international fleets of spacecraft that will be used to explore the moon and Mars in the future.
Space Internet, eh? Just as long as there aren't any space comment threads. All it would take is one 12-year-old to call some alien a "fag" and we're got intergalactic war on our hands, people. You don't want that.
Posted by Lons at 8:06 PM
The pornographic movie industry has long had only a casual interest in plot and dialogue. But moviemakers are focusing even less on narrative arcs these days. Instead, they are filming more short scenes that can be easily uploaded to Web sites and sold in several-minute chunks.
Fascinating article I can only presume has been held back since 1997 about how porno movies are dispensing with 90 minute plotlines and just becoming collections of 8-10 minute scenes. You know, what with the Internet and all. Wait, did I say fascinating? I meant ludicrously inane. I get those two mixed up.
I'm all for human interest-y stories about pornographic filmmaking. This isn't me being a prude. It's just that this is not news. This is about as far from news as anything I have ever read in any newspaper, including Mervyn's inserts, "missed connection" classifieds and ads for pot doctors.
The inclusion of a plot in a porno doesn't even matter to THE PERSON WATCHING THE PORNO, let alone the public at large.
Besides, the Internet's been a popular place to find pornography for multiple decades at this point. The fact that streaming video isn't the best place to feature 10 minute interludes of bad acting and junior high AV Club-level effects work isn't exactly what you'd consider a Pentagon Papers-level scoop.
Posted by Lons at 12:10 AM
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
The Megan Fox-Michael Bay sex tape cost $400 million and includes the destruction of half of Los Angeles
Now, though, Page Six tells us just how Megan Fox nabbed the role in the first place. According to them, when Michael Bay auditioned her for the first Transformers, he actually made her wash his Ferrari while he filmed the whole thing. Yup. She washed his car. His Ferrari. While he filmed her. And that's how she got the role in Transformers. If you need anymore proof of just how perverted Hollywood is sometimes, look no further than Mr. Michael Bay. Oh, but it gets better ...
I mean, it may sound a bit crude, but how else is Michael Bay even supposed to decide who to cast in his movies. The roles require no real acting ability, so you can't really have potential actresses read lines. And there are so many quick cuts, you never even get a clear look at them during the 260 minute running time, so a conventional screen test is pointless.
The best system would just be to put them in a bright room and spin around them quickly while throwing shards of metal and shrapnel in their direction. Anyone who survives and doesn't run out of the room screaming and begging for her life gets the part!
Posted by Lons at 3:08 PM
Monday, July 06, 2009
More demented genius from the man behind the Alice in Wonderland and Mary Poppins remixes. This is fast becoming my favorite YouTube channel.
Posted by Lons at 10:40 PM
Sunday, July 05, 2009
We have accomplished so much and there’s much more to do, but my family and I determined after prayerful consideration that sacrificing my title helps Alaska most. And once I decided not to run for re-election, my decision was that much easier – I’ve never been one to waste time or resources.
Seriously...what the hell is she talking about? This statement makes no sense. It implies that she made the decision to step down as governor (only after "prayerful consideration," mind you) BEFORE she made the decision not to run for a second term...Guh? Was there a time in which she considered quitting before the end of her first term and then running for a second? Cause...that's weird...
Also, I just LOVED this sentence:
"I’ve never thought I needed a title before one’s name to forge progress in America."
But...but...I thought that a community organizer didn't do anything, while a Governor had real responsibilities! It seems like that whole 2008 election was forever ago, but she said that less than 1 year ago!
Posted by Lons at 11:47 AM