Saturday, April 25, 2009
In honor of the late Bea Arthur, I present this bizarre, amazing old TV clip of the actress/comedian singing a song about drug use called "Sniff Swig Puff." Found via Pandagon:
Posted by Lons at 7:56 PM
My old roommate's cat, Sasha, LOVES him some boxes, too. If we ordered pizza, we had to be sure to keep an eye on it at all times, lest it be crushed under the weight of an orange housecat before we could finish it.
Also, the title is a reference to Norm MacDonald's classic impression of Larry King, that I feel may actually be BETTER than Kevin Pollak's interpretation:
Posted by Lons at 12:27 PM
Thursday, April 23, 2009
A deluxe serving of new YouTube videos, awesome in-studio guests and the distinct possibility that I will forget we're being broadcast live and scratch myself between jokes. You don't want to miss this.
Posted by Lons at 8:25 PM
Police are looking for a pregnant woman they say tried to rob a North Carolina bank at gunpoint but left empty-handed after answering her cell phone.
Fayetteville police spokeswoman Teresa Chance said Wednesday the woman had a handgun and demanded money when she entered a Carter Bank & Trust branch at 9:43 a.m. the previous day.
But she got distracted when her cell phone rang.
Police said she began talking to the caller and left the bank without taking any money.
Did anyone else read this and immediately envision the trailer it would have as a mainstream comedy, possibly starring Kate Hudson?
"Teresa Chance has a big problem..."
CUT TO: Hudson looking at her pregnant belly in the mirror:
HUDSON: I'm hideous!
"But that was just the beginning..."
LANDLORD: Who's the father?
KATE HUDSON: He's...out of the picture.
LANDLORD: Sorry, no bastards in my building...We need you out of the apartment by Friday.
"Now, to protect her new family, she's going to take the biggest chance of her life..."
CUT TO: Kate Hudson walking into a bank, pregnant, with a gun.
KATE HUDSON: Okay, everyone put your hands in the air, I guess, or something!
Kate's cell phone rings.
DOCTOR (on phone): We have some test results for you!
KATE HUDSON (into phone): Can't this wait? I'm sort of busy now, and I really have to pee!
BANK CUSTOMER: Do we still need to keep our hands up!
CUT TO: "The Fugitive"-style scene with cops standing around on a manhunt.
"But can a single gal take on the long arm of the law alone?"
SHERIFF: I need a hard target search of every Maternity Store, Baby Gap, ice cream parlor and public restroom in that area!
CUT TO: Hudson running into a door or something, like they do in every comedy trailer. (Here we'd also cue in one of those songs that's in every comedy trailer, like "Got My Mojo Working," "Walking on Sunshine" or that one that just goes "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!")
CUT TO: Hudson talking to her Mom from a pay phone.
KATE HUDSON: I just want to do what's right for my son!
KATE'S MOM: First, you just have to do what's right...
"From the producers of some crap like 'Bride Wars', Kate Hudson, Tommy Lee Jones and Annette Benning star in 'Expecting Trouble.' Rated R for dick and poop jokes."
Posted by Lons at 10:18 AM
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Posted by Lons at 12:00 AM
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Interesting posts about brands that will no longer exist after 2010. Some are kind of bittersweet. (I once worked at a Borders Books, and have fond high school memories of hanging out in their Mission Viejo store drinking coffee and reading books for free.)
One that I was surprised and delighted to see, however, was Crocs, the loathsome shoe company responsible for arguably the most irritating, ugly footwear in history. I mean, look at these fucking monstrosities. It's like wearing a MySpace page on your foot.
Posted by Lons at 12:50 AM
Sunday, April 19, 2009
I saw the Yeah Yeah Yeah's on Conan when "Fever to Tell" was coming out, and it was terrible. Kind of put me off the idea of seeing the band live, even though I like their first EP and full-length a lot.
Now I see this clip from Letterman the other night and they sound really good. Perhaps it was just an off night?
Posted by Lons at 1:23 AM