Tiger Woods and the terrible horrible no good very bad day

This voicemail from Tiger Woods to his ALLEGED mistress Jamiee Grubbs is just sad.  And not even said in the hilarious way, like "reality show sad."  Just sad.  To see someone with Tiger's fame and popularity have to sink to paranoid messages on women's phones begging them to delete their own identifying information, lest his wife discover their tryst, sort of makes the compelling case for not getting married, being famous or having a cell phone.

Also, at this point, HOW pissed is he at getting into that little fender bender.  You know that feeling right after you've made a minor but costly mistake while driving, where you start obsessing about being able to take back the last 3 minutes and kicking yourself for not paying more attention to the road?  Multiply that by 890 billion and that's how Tiger Woods feels this morning.

More details, and the audio clip of the voicemail message, on our Mahalo page:

http://www.mahalo.com/tiger-woods-voicemail

Posted via email from Lon Harris

Is Scottsdale, Arizona and Newport Beach, CA in da houze?

via youtube.com

Finally, elderly white folks with questionable ideas about politics and constitutional law have an MC to call their own.

Seriously, though, this video from Hi Caliber, the conservative Tea Party rapper, really must be seen to be believed. It's like Chuck D and Glenn Beck had a child, and it didn't just realize it was a freak of nature and take its own life immediately upon exiting the womb/laboratory test tube.

Also, I love that Hi Calbier reflexively harken back to the '80s and Ronald Reagan as the standard-bearer of good conservative leadership. Surely he's supported at least one, but more than likely 2, conservative presidents since then. I looked around for his dope mid-aughts rhymes against President Bush's overreach and fiscally irresponsible policies, but I guess YouTube must have deleted those. That is so ill.

Posted via web from Lon Harris

COD:MW2 Walkthrough

Yeah, it's a terrible acronym.  Memo to Activision...Cool shorthand ways to refer to your game are key to its success.  Think GTAIV.  That's perfect...everyone knows what you mean, and it's distinctive.  What about "Call of Duty: Eternal."  That would have an awesome acronym.

Anyway, we've been playing through the game here at Mahalo and it's super-violent, almost troubling, and very realistic.  It's a lot of fun, if you're into all that blood-and-guts stuff.  So, basically, if you're a gamer.

Games like these still sorto f make me nostalgic for "Counter-Strike."  I'm not sure I've played another FPS multiplayer game to this day that I've enjoyed that much, even though I used to get annihilated by 12-year-olds regularly.

Anyway, if you're playing through the game this weekend, check out Mahalo's Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 walkthrough.  We'll be working on it for a while yet, but it's already among the most thorough and complete walkthroughs of the game out there.

Posted via email from Lon Harris

Grizzly Bear + Allison Schulnik's "Ready, Able" video will blow your mind out your face

via youtube.com

Here's the trippy, imaginative, just plain brilliant video for my favorite song off the new Grizzly Bear album, "Ready, Able." I love stop motion!

Best YouTube comment so far:

"i did not enjoy the art, it was done by a woman the emotion behind it must have been intense."

Well played.

Posted via web from Lon Harris

There is no harder thing than having Glenn Beck outlive your child...

via theonion.com

Are they mocking Glenn Beck? Or the intense hatred of Glenn Beck that has become de rigueur for all sane Americans? Who cares! It's funny!

Posted via web from Lon Harris

Clearly, this is the greatest couples costume of all time...

via paulscheer.com

OF ALL TIME!

Posted via web from Lon Harris

14 Unfortunate Things to See in Your FlashForward

14. You turn on the radio and discover that, contrary to Jigga's prognosis, Auto-Tune was just momentarily incapacitated, but didn't die.

13. Your personal productivity takes a hit after new president Arnold Schwarzenegger decrees that all letters and e-mails must now spell out dirty words if you read the first letter of each line.

12. You're enjoying a delicious protein bar until you check the label and see that it's Soylent Green.

11. There's some weird guy crashing on your couch.  He keeps calling you "Sugar Bear."

10. Latest "Avatar" trailer...Still kind of disappointing...

9. Future You still hasn't quite come to terms with the untimely loss of Billy Mays.

8. You finally have health insurance, which you're using to buy Super-AIDS medicine.

7. You're in your favorite neighborhood bar, it's full of hipsters, and you're kind of starting to not mind so much.

6. Your hard drive is completely filled with Russian fetish porn. And someone has reorganized it and messed up all the file names.

5. You're on a tour promoting your new book, "How I Got Brutally Gang-Raped Moments After Having a Vision of the Future."

4. You assume you've died and gone to Hell as punishment for your sins until you catch a glimpse of a newspaper and realize you just moved to Phoenix.

3. You're in a meeting with the local terrorist cell, which you've joined, and all their plans are stupid.

2. You're at a Tijuana donkey show. You're the donkey.

1. You're watching Season 2 of FlashForward.

Posted via email from Lon Harris