Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Blogging the Obvious

Welcome to Blogging the Obvious, the feature where we here at Crushed By Inertia bring you the most boring blogs from all over the Internet.

This week's exciting edition of Blogging the Obvious focuses on the blog of Bob Aagard of Holladay, Utah. Bob's the founder and president of Mormons for Dean and a frequent contributor to forums over at Daily Kos.

In the first of many, many obvious, generic choices, Bob has gone with "The World, According to Me" as his blog's title. The web address?

Let's start at the first of the year, Jan. 1 2005, and this blog entry, entitled "New Years Resolutions" (no apostrophe on the phrase 'New Years', grammar police).

1) A little less talk, alot more action. Actually, this is my theme for 2005.
2) More scripture study; Less Playstation.
3) Date more
4) Keep my car clean.
5) Save money.
6) Lose weight (obvious)
7) Start working on defeating Orrin Hatch in 2006.

Yes, the man even has generic New Years' Resolutions. My favorite? #2. Because, if you're already studying Scripture (capitalized!), what makes you decide you need to start doing it more.

"Well, I've already read this book 8 times through, but I could be re-reading it faster. I feel godly, but not quite holy. Maybe I should start taking notes. Fuck Crash Bandicoot, this shit is for real!"

Now, let's jump ahead to Jan. 24 2005, when Bob posted some movie reviews.

Oops! I've been to two movies without reporting on either of them! eeek!

Finding Neverland

Loved it! OK, so it was far, far away from the real story people thought they were getting, but it was one of my favorite movies of the year. I didn't notice anything offencive, or that would embarass me on a date. says it has 2 "S" words as the only swearing, and only a little clevage for sex/nudity. Go see it, before it's too late!


This was annother good movie. However, it has one scene of a married couple having sex. Niether has on less than boxers for him and panties/bra for her. However, it was fairly unneccessary. lists 31 swear words, including 1 use of the mother of all swear words.

Yes, Bob's incapable of making a single analytical judgement about movies, just like everything else. His movie reviews consist of "loved it" or "it's offencive." Screenit is a pretty funny site, by the way. Why not check it out? It's the sort of site where sentences like

Just how scary is Boogeyman and is it too intense for younger teens?

appear right on the front page. For people like Bob, it deserves to be studied with all the scrutiny you'd normally give PlayStation.

Finally, we move on to Jan. 30 2005, when Bob waxes philosophical about Hotel Rwanda and the genocide in Africa as a whole. This entry isn't simply dumb like the earlier ones, but horribly horribly trite to boot. It's the double-double of obvious blogging.

Over 1,000,000 people were killed in the massacre. It lasted 100 days. That's 10,000 people a day. At yet, a force the size of the NYPD could have stopped it. Yet, we were too concerned about other, more trivial things.What's even sadder is that this type of thing still goes on unnoticed in Africa, namely in the Sudan and the Congo.-Bob

No insight whatsoever! Just a bunch of facts with some guy's name plugged on the end of it! Way to go, Bob! We at Crushed By Inertia salute your shallow take on the world! We're endlessly fascinated by your accounting of the number of swear words in PG rated films. And your non-posts on African genocides brighten our day. You are this week's entry in Blogging the Obvious!


Anonymous said...

What about the Bob Aagard movie that Turge Babonet is doing?

Lons said...

This Turge Babonet thing has gotten old, my friend...Old old old old old and tired. I urge you, for your own sake, to move on. Suffice it to say, I no longer find it neccessary to cover this "story" on the main page of my blog.

Bob said...

Thank You for publishing my lame, boring blog.

Best and funniest thing I've seen on Google in a long time.

-Bob Aagard

Lons said...

Aw, man, I feel really bad now that you've actually read my blog and seen all the awful stuff I wrote about you.

My online persona's a real jerk sometimes.