Party Down!

Of all the whackjobs on all the Internets, Bill Frist M.D. may by the wackiest. The guy is nuttier than the old ratty T-shirt under Pee Wee Herman's bed. (Give it a minute...There you go...)

He's the chairman of the Volunteer Political Action Committee, which goes by the charming and not-at-all-menacing-sounding acronym VOLPAC. Seriously, that sounds like the name of a Sith Lord, not a forward-thinking political organization. Fristie, do something about that.

Anyway, this entire website is stark raving insane. Frist does this thing where he pretends that nothing goes on in the Senate other than Democrats antagonizing Republicans. Seriously, to hear him tell it, the entire Capitol Building is exactly like a high school in a John Hughes film. The ruggedly handsome and ceaselessly macho jocks like Harry Reid (played by Emilio Estivez and Judd Nelson) run everything, while the nerdy but well-meaning heroes like Frist and Tom DeLay are your Anthony Michael Halls.

One need look no further than Frist's own column following Harry Reid's heroic and historic "closed session" of the Senate to discuss the intelligence leading up to the Iraq War. Frist whines about Reid making any decision without his prior approval.

Leave it to the Democrats to find old ways to sink to new lows ... Today ... for the first time in more than 25 years ... Harry Reid - backed by a loyal following of obstructionist Democrats - invoked an obscure rule under which the Senate chamber can be ordered into closed session.

Okay, first off, the rule isn't that obscure. Recent closed sessions of the Senate included discussions of chemical weapons and the Clinton impeachment hearings. And the Democrats are attempting to condcut an investigation about the intelligence that lead America into a long and costly war. The Republicans are the ones who are obstructing said investigation, not the other way around.

But the real point here is that Frist is supposed to be a professional politician, and here he is whining on his blog about having to discuss what Democrats want for one day without being able to grandstand for TV cameras. What an embarrassing excuse for leadership.

It was an affront to the Senate; it was an affront to the American people; and it was an affront to the principles of democracy. This political stunt, in truth ... reinforced the difference between US and THEM.

To accuse Democrats of reinforcing the current divide in American politics is the exact definition of projection. Frist rebukes others for things he does every day. The last 5 years of Republican rule is nothing more than the clever use of wedge issues like gay marriage to divide Americans by geography and religion. That's it.

Look ... it's no secret that Washington has been tense lately over numerous political issues, but this can be healthy. To debate is democratic ... a sign of progress ... a means to a resolution.

Maybe I'm wrong about Dr. Bill. Maybe all he wants is factually-based, well-reasoned debate. Why, just look at the poll on the front page of the VOLPAC website:

Why do you think Democrats shut down the Senate yesterday?

• Party of No Ideas
• Party of No Principles
• Party of No Hope
• All of the Above

Oh, jeez, this is hard...

Let's see..."Party of No Hope" doesn't make any sense...So it can't be C or D. I mean, what does that mean? The party has no hope of winning elections, or their platform is based around a lack of hope?

"Vote Democratic in 2006. We Support the Abandonment of All Hope for America. Our Main Proposal to Move America Forward is the Dissemination of a Poisoned Cocktail That Will Mercifully Exterminate All Human Life Over the Next 5 Years."

So, it's down to "no principles" or "no ideas." Well, I guess there would have to be at least some principle for which the Democrats stand. Even if that principle is just "Screw You, Senate Republicans." So I'm going to vote for "The Party of No Ideas." But, please, don't take my word for it. Make up your own mind; choose which of that diverse bevy of options makes the most sense to you.