Stupid Blogger....

So, Blogger wouldn't let me on to the site at all yesterday. So, I couldn't review Elektra for you (short version: it's unwatchably dull and so cheaply made, it often looks like a re-run of "Days of Our Lives").

And I couldn't link you here for the list of the 100 Worst Porn Titles of All Time. I'm not even going to type #1, for fear my keyboard will never be clean again. But here are some funny ones from the Top 50:

DUDE, WHERE'S MY DILDO?
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA (what are they talking about...that's a great porn title!)
ANAL CHIROPRACTOR (that's just weird...)

You see what you all missed yesterday? Someone should really write blogger and complain. Not me, though.

Also, I would have probably sent you all over to Practice What You Preach, where they have an amusing video clip of a Republican Congressman giving a dirty speech about Viagra and erections...on the floor of the House. Cause, you know, profanity is wrong, except when it's just us Republicans in the room and we're telling dick jokes.

Oh, and I certainly would have commented a little on the endless Pope Show now playing in media all across the country. See, folks, I have an opinion: I feel that the death of the Pope should be afforded the same level of coverage as the death of other world/religious leaders.

After all, we are not a nation with a majority of Catholic residents, right? And I'm not saying media should pay no attention to the Pope's death, or that newspapers and TV serving a majority Catholic audience wouldn't want to possibly obsess over it a little bit. But every website I go to, every TV show I turn on, they're talking about what a swell guy Karol was, and how everyone who knew him liked him, and how he changed the Church by taking it to the commies or some such thing.

I never knew the guy. Maybe he was swell. I can't say I supported his policies - taking the Church, religion-wise, as far back to Medieval as he could. This is a guy who didn't just oppose abortion but opposed birth control. Um....Not the best combo. This is a guy who didn't just want to keep gays out of the Church, but didn't want any women preists!

Not to mention the Pope coined the term "culture of life," George Bush's #4 favorite meaningless catchphrase to throw out.

#3: Freedom is on the march
#2: We've turned a corner
#1: I want to dip my balls in it

Finally, I would have certainly linked you all to this hilarious article about a man named Rick James. No, not that Rick James.

This is a man named Rick James who is running for the Hattiesburg City Council in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. And the problem is, every time he makes a sign and posts it around town, someone steals it. Because, you know, it says "Vote for Rick James," and any fan of the "Chappelle Show" would think that's funny.

So Rick and his wife Diane did what any reasonable person would do in this situation...They wrote to "Comedy Central" looking for a handout.

"Due to the popularity of the Dave Chappelle show, people keep stealing our 'Vote Rick James' yard signs ... we would appreciate a small campaign donation for more signs, as we are working-class people and financing this campaign out of our own pockets. Each time a sign is stolen, it costs us $4.75! Every time a 'Rick James' piece runs on your show, we stand to lose dozens of signs overnight, which end up decorating people's front yards and dorm rooms ... the yard signs have been spotted at least 100 miles from our home by truckers ... Also, young children on bikes scream, 'I'm Rick James, bitch!' as we drive by in our car with our 'Rick James' car signs ... People even drive by our home and scream, 'Super Freak.'"

Not a sign of a candidate who'd be really good with a budget, is it? First sign of trouble, he hits up a mutlinational media conglomerate for some extra scratch.

Also, he's probably not much of a problem-solver. I mean, couldn't he just start calling himself "Richard James"? Or "Ricky James"? Or, and this one might have its own problems, "Dick James"?

Anyway, I'm torn between hoping Comedy Central has more sense than to pay out to this man, and hoping that Dave Chappelle goes down there to hand-deliver the money and turn it into a bit for "Chappelle Show: Season 3."

And that's what I would have posted yesterday on Crushed by Inertia, had I not been thwarted by the wily Blogger.com. I've got to go to work now, but rest assured, I'll return with more silly nonsense this evening, provided the Intarnets don't shut down again.