Who Is Your Governor And What Does He Do?

You know him as the Governator, folks. It's Arnie "The Kid" Schwartzenegger, a machine sent from the future with just one purpose: to balance your budget!

I haven't really been reading too much about Arnold's term in office and his activities, as I don't really care. Governorship of California is one of those things that kind of floats around out there, that I don't pay much attention to. Unless it's a sick evil fuck like Pete Wilson, grabbing the attention of everyone who's not retarded or an asshole by constantly trying to pass vile legislation with nice names, like the Pet Every Kitten Act. That one, I think, mandated that hot pokers be shoved up the rectums of immigrants once a month, or something like that.

So, I just figured that what the media has said so far about Schwartzy's tenure is right on: that he's surprisingly moderate, that he has a good environmental record, that even though he stumps for the Chimp-in-Chief, he's not actually one of those guys. You know, the crazy guys from the Jesus-And-Bombs Party who currently run the show.

But Salon has an article today about the right-wing horror awaiting California during Ahnold's tenure. According to the article, here are the man's crimes while it office thus far:

Taken governmental actions that benefit his personal finances, in apparent violation of state law.

Collected tens of millions of dollars from many of the same "special interests" he had sworn to kick out of town when he was elected.

Vetoed bills that would have protected labor, the environment, workplace safety and consumers.
Sought to centralize his power by abolishing citizen-run boards that make important regulatory decisions.

Advocated for increased deregulation of the electricity market.

I generally trust Salon's reporting. Sometimes their analysis leaves me cold - they're far too PC for my tastes, and often tied to the Democratic Party agenda too slavishly for my tastes. Although they do hate Joe Lieberman about as much as I do, which counts for something. But they don't publish mistruths very often, so if they're saying this stuff, I have no reason to doubt its veracity.

Plus, they can back up all the claims, most damningly the "special interests" money Ahnold has collected. You'll remember, particularly if you lived in California for the recall fiasco, that Schwartzy's entire appeal to voters was that he would "kick the special interests out of Sacramento." I figured he would use some kind of futuristic chain gun, like out of Eraser, but it turns out he was speaking figuratively. Which was disappointing.

But since taking office, the new governor has collected $26 million -- in chunks ranging from $21,200 to $1,000,000 -- from individuals and companies involved in high finance, real estate, insurance, construction, energy sales, entertainment, pharmaceuticals, electronics, prison corporations and major news media. (In his first year in office, Gray Davis collected $13 million in special-interest contributions.) In addition, five nonprofit corporations set up to pay for such items as the governor's luxury hotel suite in Sacramento, and his trips abroad, are not required to disclose their sources of money.

I mean, we the taxpayers should have to pay to take care of Arnold Schwartzenegger. I mean, it's not like he could subsidize his entire term in office with the profits from just one of his shitkicker movies. Oh, wait, he totally could. How does that make you feel, California taxpayer? That your Governor not only gets treated every day to luxury hotel suites, trips abroad and other lavish perks for voting against your interests, but gets to keep $20 million each for making Jingle all the Way and Batman & Robin?

But he's not greedy! He's demonstrating the American Dream. That a kid from Graz, Austria could travel to this country, inject Canseco-esque amounts of steroids into his system, ridicule a deaf guy in a popular documentary about freaky bodybuilders and eventually become the leader of America's largest economy. At least, I think that's the American Dream. America must have eaten some spicy food before going to sleep that night.

Salon also reports that Schwartzenegger's trying to cheat his way around the California Political Reform Act. This is a thoroughly useful, obvious piece of legislation, that says politicians must turn over their investments to a disinterested third party while in office, to prevent them from conflicts-of-interest.

To shield a wealthy government official from being paralyzed by possible conflicts of interest, the Political Reform Act allows the officeholder to place assets in a blind trust managed by a "disinterested party." The theory is that, after a time, he will no longer know what he owns. The trustee (who cannot be a relative) is supposed to have little or no contact with the official. He is empowered to liquidate the original portfolio and to buy new assets, which are unknown to the official. In apparent violation of the reform act, Schwarzenegger designated as his trustee his close friend and financial advisor, Paul D. Wachter.

"We've been friends for 25 years and been in business together for less than 15 years," Wachter tells Salon about his relationship with Schwarzenegger. "I am his main person in the whole business, financial, legal area. And, obviously, a close confidant. As the blind trustee, I manage all his money."

Nice, Arnie! That's a classy move. Can you believe this? Arnold Schwartzenegger is attempting to abuse his position of political power for personal gain! This is a guy who is worth literally tens of millions of dollars, who is so internationally known and beloved, he could star in big Hollywood movies for the rest of his natural life. We're talking about a guy who was already a plane owner before entering political life. He's a freaking Kennedy for Chrissakes.

But all this is basically circumstantial evidence. We know Arnold is capable of using his position for personal gain, if he so chooses.

That's when Salon, quite brilliantly, turns attention over the Arnold's for-profit website. Oh, man, you gotta check this shit out. Especially the part labeled Arnold's Auction. This week's he's selling an autographed Predator DVD to the highest bidder. I guess it's only appropriate that California's Governor is hawking DVD's. That's how a good deal of his citizenry makes its living.

The website also includes fascinating information about Schwartenegger's bold policy initiatives. For example, he declared Feb. 6th "Ronald Reagan Day." Booya!

The Salon article goes on and on, incriminating Arnold more and more for selfishly using his newfound power to increase his already Scrooge McDuck-esque personal fortune. I'm not gonna summarize it all for you people, because it's long, and you can obviously read if you've made it this far.

I'll leave you with this quote from Schwartenegger's State of the State Address on Jan. 5th of this year. Read the whole speech online here.

I know the special interests will oppose all the reforms I have mentioned. Any time you try to remove one dollar from the budget, there are five special interests tugging on the other end. Anytime you try to make something more efficient, there are a half-dozen special interests trying to prevent it.

The result is that nothing changes in Sacramento. This place is in the grip of the special interests.

Special interests like Dimensional Fund Advisors, with whom Schwartzy has invested over $1 million? Or maybe Rupert Murdoch, AT&T, Merck, Pepsi, Raytheon, Sprint, Verizon and WellPoint, who all donated to his campaign? Or possibly Toyota Corp., whom Schwartzenegger visited in Japan and promised to "move mountains" for them in California.

I could go on. Really, I could. But what's the point? You see where this is going.