Inaugural Balls

You all know Paul Weyrich, right? He's the shadowy evil figure behind shadowy evil arch-conservative "think" tank, the Free Congress Research and Education Foundation. Here's an excerpt from his official biography:

He has been described by The Economist as "one of the conservative movement's more vigorous thinkers." Voted three years in a row from 1981 – 1983 by readers of Conservative Digest as one of the top three "most popular conservatives in America not in Congress," Mr. Weyrich has been named by Regardie's Magazine as "one of the 100 most powerful Washingtonians."

He has been married since 1963 to the former Joyce Smigun, is the father of five children, and serves as a deacon in his church.

Aren't you impressed? He made Regardie's Magazine. Too bad that bitch Naomi Campbell made the cover.

And I wonder who the other two "most popular conservatives in America not in Congress" were from 1981 to 1983, according to the Conservative Digest...I tried to look it up on Google, but Conservative Digest doesn't have a website. Possibly because it no longer exists.

Still, Paul, you're doing super. I love the way you donate a lot of money to the president and then tell him what you do. It's super.

Anyway, Paul's upset that so many lefty bloggers and writers made such a big deal about how much ol' Georgie's recent inaugural celebration cost. I mean, come on, it's only $40 million...When Paul Weyrich takes a shit and there's no toilet paper around, he wipes his ass with $40 million, people.

All the money has been raised by friends of the President. Critics are insisting the parties and inaugural balls be cancelled and the money sent to the victims of the tsunami in Asia.

The critics say to have lavish parties going on when men and women of the Armed Forces are being killed in Iraq and Afghanistan is unseemly. I don’t recall these same critics having anything to say when Lyndon Johnson had his Inaugural Balls in 1965 during the Viet Nam War.

Well, Paul, I'd have loved to complain about Lyndon Johnson having a lavish Inaugural Ball in 1965, but I was still 13 years away from being born. Also, implying that people who are now liberals didn't bitch about LBJ during his tenure as president evidences a tremendous, egregious lack of any information or knowledge about that era of American history. I mean, LBJ was not exactly beloved in his time. He didn't even run for a second term. If only W had followed suit.

World War I and especially World War II involved the whole country much more than does the Iraqi war. This is not to take away from any of the more than 1,100 killed among our armed forces as well as the thousands who have been injured in Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia and other places where our military serves.

If the war in Iraq had reached the level of intensity which the two World Wars had, then it might be appropriate to cancel the balls, the parade and other celebrations which are being held. But it isn’t that magnitude of war.

Yowza. This guy is crass. Does he not realize? He's paid to write and philosophize about this shit on the Internet, after all. How can he not realize it's inappropriate to imply that 1,100 deaths (by the way, Yahoo calls the death toll today at 1,400) isn't enough reason to cancel a party?

But, no, Weyrich's right, it's nothing like those other wars. If you get shot in Iraq, about a half-hour later, the bullet just pops right out of you and you're fine again!

And he kind of forgets about that tsunami thing, too, huh? Oh, right, 150,000 dead Asians! But we already called the caterers! Oh, come on, stop bitching! It's a party, people! Four more years!

Then, he ends with more ludicrous insanity:

Bush should go ahead with all of the activities associated with the election. The nation needs to celebrate. First, we have not been attacked since 9/11. That is reason to celebrate alone. Second, we have been through a lot as a nation. This is a national event. People from all over the country come to the celebration. And even if you voted for Bush’s opponent, you should celebrate that we have peaceful elections. None of them will be thrown in prison nor will they have to fear being shot because they voted for the loser. It is still great to be an American.

Hey, yeah, our electoral system was crudely manipulated by liars who made people believe that voting for his opponant equals burning the Bible and encouraging kids to have gay sex! Let's have a fucking party!

Also, he stops even trying to be a real writer by this point in the essay. Look at these sentences..."People from all over the country come to the celebration." Frankenstein Like Bush! Fire..............BAD!

But, yeah, it's great to be an American. No floods, possibly un-rigged elections and all the wars get fought in front of someone else's house. God Bless the USA.