Back Off, Man...I'm a Mad Scientist...

Two weeks before an election? They come with this?

Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said Thursday that anyone demanding deadlines for progress in Iraq should "just back off," because it is too difficult to predict when Iraqis will resume control of their country.

During an often-combative Pentagon news conference, Rumsfeld said that while benchmarks for security, political and economic progress are valuable, "it's difficult. We're looking out into the future. No one can predict the future with absolute certainty."

He said the goals have no specific deadlines or consequences if they are not met by specific dates.

"You're looking for some sort of a guillotine to come falling down if some date isn't met," Rumsfeld told reporters. "That is not what this is about."

"Back off"? This is how our elected officials explain themselves to us? "Back off"?

"Hey, Don, since none of your plans have worked out yet and things are getting worse by the day, shouldn't we at least begin thinking about when to leave Iraq?"

"BACK OFF, dude! Man, I am so tired of being questioned and bothered all the time just because my poor decision-making has directly led to thousands upon thousands of unnecessary deaths! Why don't all of you bitches raise up off my nutsack?"

I can't believe this guy still has his job. He must have photos of George Bush snowballing Karl Rove or something. He knows where the several dozen other guys Dick Cheney "accidentally" shot in the face are buried. He's promised to share the golden treasure with the rest of the Bush administration once he's unlocked the secrets of the Declaration of Independence map. There must be some rational explanation.

If you steal $10 from the register at a Barnes & Noble, you lose your job, but this guy has managed to lead thousands of men to the slaughter while achieving not a single one of our stated military or security objectives while remaining gainfully employed. Then he goes on TV and tells us all to "back off." Must be nice, if you can get away with it...

Rumsfeld often spars with reporters at Pentagon briefings, but Thursday his criticism of journalists seemed more pointed than usual.

"That's a rather accusatory way to put it," he said in response to one question about reducing troop levels.

Members of both parties say next month's congressional elections have become a referendum on the war in Iraq. Control of Congress could hinge on whether voters believe the Bush administration is on the right path or if there should be a change in course and significant reduction in U.S. troop levels there.

Rumsfeld's comments on the benchmarks further muddied the waters on whether there is agreement between the Iraqis and the U.S. on how quickly progress must be made there.

"They're still in discussions," he said.

I don't get how the Rethuglicans think sending Rummy out to yell at us is going to help them win in the upcoming elections. If they even care about actually getting votes, that is. It seems pretty much fait accompli that the shit is going to be rigged in their favor. (Democratic candidate Jim Webb can't even get his full name on the ballot!) Still, this kind of angry petulant squawking from a guy no one really respects any more can't be a winning strategy, can it?

"Vote Republican. Then sit down and shut the fuck up. Dummy."