Whoopee! We're All Gonna Die!
Back in 2000, when King George of Dumbfuckistania was first elected appointed to the US Presidency, I knew it would be a bad thing.
"It doesn't really matter who's President," one cynical friend said. "All politicians are beholden to the same special interests, and therefore will act in the same predictable ways."
"He's not actually stupid or evil or any of those things," I heard from a right-leaning associate. "You can't possibly believe that. It's just liberal media spin."
"It's not the end of the world," a roommate advised. "One President can only do so much damage. It's the way the American system has been set up."
Well, I hate to say I told you so. Actually, I take that back. I love to say "I told you so," and this current situation with G.W.B. provides the perfect opportunity. I fucking told you so, America. I've been telling you so right here since 2004, and I was telling people so in my personal life well before that. This President and his cabal of freaky perverts, kleptomaniacs and sundry bloodthirsty creeps will not be happy until the Middle East is a perma-charred graveyard drained of all its natural resources and America is a totalitarian Christianist dystopia wholly owned by Wal-Mart, Sprint and Pfizer.
Or haven't you heard the news yet? Seymour Hersh, investigative reporter for the New Yorker who has been instrumental in breaking a number of anti-administration news stories ignored by almost everyone, has now announced that Bush is determined to strike at Iran with nuclear weapons. Or, as he would pronounce it, noo-kyoo-lar weapons.
The administration of President George W. Bush is planning a massive bombing campaign against Iran including use of bunker-buster nuclear bombs to destroy a key Iranian suspected nuclear weapons facility, The New Yorker magazine has reported in its April 17 issue.
Neato! Can I cower under my desk with my arms covering the fleshy part of my neck yet?
The article by investigative journalist Seymour Hersh said that Bush and others in the White House have come to view Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as a potential Adolf Hitler.
"That's the name they're using," the report quoted a former senior intelligence official as saying.
The intelligence official then added, "Not because they're equally evil or bent on world domination or anything. George has trouble remembering foreign-sounding names, so we just let him call all the good foreign leaders 'Blair' and all the evil ones 'Hitler.' It's best to keep things simple and direct for the President. Cause, you know...he's an idiot."
I'm just wondering if the President uses 'Blair' in reference to Tony or his favorite character on TV's classic "Facts of Life."
A senior unnamed Pentagon adviser is quoted in the article as saying that "this White House believes that the only way to solve the problem is to change the power structure in Iran, and that means war."
When asked which military theorists have most influenced his worldview, Bush responded "that Chinese dude, Sun...um...Chu...no, wait...um...Oh, yeah, I remember. John Woo's 'The Art of War.' That one's purty good. Well, the introduction is anyway. Oh, also, Daffy Duck cartoons."
The former intelligence officials depicts planning as "enormous," "hectic" and "operational," Hersh writes.
Because, as everybody knows, the best way to change the fundamental power structure of a Middle Eastern nation is to just send the Army in there and start kicking ass! And we don't even have to plan for a post-invasion of Iran because, as soon as we start dropping them nukes on the major cities, the people are certain to rally to our cause! They'll probably greet us with flowers and candy and maybe even 72 virgins per American soldier!
I know it sounds like my usual hyperbolic sarcasm in that above paragraph, but I'm totally serious. These idiots are really trying to sell us that old lie again, even while Iraq tears itself apart in Civil War.
One former defense official said the military planning was premised on a belief that "a sustained bombing campaign in Iran will humiliate the religious leadership and lead the public to rise up and overthrow the government," The New Yorker pointed out.
Humiliate the religious leadership? I'm not quire sure that would actually be the effect of a sustained bombing campaign that included nuclear weapons. Maybe we'd liquify the religious leadership. But even though I'm sure advanced radiation sickness could have the potential for public embarrassment, I think the aftermath of a nuclear strike is typically defined by stronger terms than "humiliation." Devastation might be a nice place to start, for whatever country we bomb and the entire rest of the world that will then have to deal with the consequences of a second American pre-emptive nuclear attack. I mean, you think other countries are upset with us now? Even Mexicans won't want to hang out here if we start nuking civilian populations.
The end of the article makes the case that cooler heads may yet prevail. But I have to think that this officially marks an end to the "both political parties are really the same underneath all the rhetoric" argument. Yes, both parties shill for corporations on a regular basis. But only one seems determined to bring about some kind of Biblical Armageddon by repeatedly and violently antagonizing a large sector of the worldwide population.
6 comments:
You know what...Let's table the entire issue of whether or not Iran presents a threat so dire that we must resort to a pre-emptive nuclear strike. Let's just put that aside for now.
Even if one were to concede that point...do you trust the present administration to carry out a major offensive against Iran? To succeed in terms of actual measurable successes on the ground, as opposed to soaring rhetoric?
If so, permit me a follow-up...How badly would they have to screw up the Iraq War in order for you to lose faith in the Bush Administration's ability to fight foreign wars?
Nuking Iran right now would be a mistake. We might want to wait for more international consensus. I'm assuming we have some time before Iran develops a delivery system that can reach Western targets.
However having said that, the only nukes the administration is talking about using are tactical ones. These aren't the Hiroshima/Nagasaki type of munitions. The smaller tactical nukes aren't going to poison the whole countryside.
Still, using nukes to censure a nation that is developing nukes, might not go over well internationally. We'd probably be better off using high-tech conventional warheads for PR purposes if for no other reason.
They aren't really gonna use nukes on anyone. It'd be a collossal diplomatic fuck up. This is just sabre rattling to scare the Iranians. Nobody is gonna be so dumb as to use pre-emptive nuke strikes in this climate. Because once you've done that, you've basically told everyone "Develop nukes as fast as you can, because we ourselves are gonna use them whenever we feel we need em to get the job done."
"They aren't really gonna use nukes on anyone. It'd be a collossal diplomatic fuck up."
That's never stopped them before.
Horsey - "international consensus"? Oh like you had for the Iraq situation. You guys don't give a flying fuck about anyone except your own arrogant, resource-consuming selves. How did these guys get this technology anyway? First they're your friends and then your enemies.
Great blog here BTW
Welcome To Wallyworld--We don't give a fuck about anyone else? Lol. You are nuts.
We are pretty much the only nation that cares enough to actually tear itself apart when it goes to war.
Where were France's protests when you were raping Indochina?
How about your involvement in Algeria? How long did it take you to disengage there? Yeah I'm sure there were 0 civilian casualties there.
We may use more resources than anyone else, but we produce proportionally more products and services with the resources. US GDP = 10 Trillion dollars. Next closest Japan at 3 Trillion dollars.
The US accepts people of all cultures here, and gives you a chance. I'm Indian, and I've been called a beaner a couple of times, but I've never been discriminated on a job interview, or when I've gone out looking for an apartment.
Ask Morrocans what its like to look for an apartment or job in Paris.
You think you are on some sort of moral high-ground in Europe? STFU. You basically abandon little countries like Romania and Bulgaria to the Russians, because you'd rather not get into a messy situation with Comrade Putin. Ask the Polish who they feel are better friends--the Americans or the French. They know we won't just sit eating bagguettes with our thumbs up our asses if the Soviets decide to roll over their borders again.
The proof that the US is a better country than yours is that we actually fucking argue about this shit, and at least 50% of us care enough to not vote for Bush.
You dooshbags on the other hand vote your agricultural subsidies and tariffs back in place and rape 3rd world farmers, and then barely even talk amongst yourselves about it.
So seriously quit acting like we are the Third Reich over here, damn drama queen. America is 1000X better than you spacefegs. AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
Not to add fuel to the fire, but in response to Horsey's comment about "tactical nuclear weapons" that aren't overly destructive and Spalding's sarcastic reference to "apocalyptic rhetoric," here's a quote from the actual Hersh column in question...
”The lack of reliable intelligence leaves military planners, given the goal of totally destroying the sites, little choice but to consider the use of tactical nuclear weapons. “Every other option, in the view of the nuclear weaponeers, would leave a gap,” the former senior intelligence official said. “ ‘Decisive’ is the key word of the Air Force’s planning. It’s a tough decision. But we made it in Japan.”
He went on, “Nuclear planners go through extensive training and learn the technical details of damage and fallout—we’re talking about mushroom clouds, radiation, mass casualties, and contamination over years. This is not an underground nuclear test, where all you see is the earth raised a little bit. These politicians don’t have a clue, and whenever anybody tries to get it out”—remove the nuclear option—“they’re shouted down.”
We're talking about mushroom clouds and radiation here. That old Cold War nightmare turned reality, only 30 years too late.
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