There IS Nothing Worse Than a Woman Know-It-All

Ugh...Sickening footage here, dug up from somewhere by Harry Shearer on HuffPo, of Chris Matthews and Tom DeLay bantering before going on the air on "Hardball" this week. Quite a bunch of specimens we've got here.

The clip begins with Matthews fawning over DeLay, thanking him profusely for coming on his program. It's an attitude that's somewhat different from the one I had come to expect from a journalist. He doesn't sound like a guy who's about the press this elected official for the truth. He sounds like an underling, a serf, a guy supplicating to a more powerful man. At best, they sound like old pals.

MATTHEWS: Hey thank you for calling me. It was a good thing for me, mostly.

DELAY: Oh really.

MATTHEWS: Oh of course it was. We got on the air as fast as we could....

Can you imagine Redford and Hoffman in All the President's Men treating politicians this way? "Oh, geez, Chuck Colson, thank you so much for talking with us. The guys back in the newsroom won't believe it. So, all your political opponents, are they bottom-feeding degenerate commie fag scumbags or what?"

It's also kind of amusing to picture Chris Matthews waiting by the phone like an impatient 14 year old for super-cute Tom DeLay to call and ask him to Sadie Hawkins.

Anyway, after the ritualistic humbling of the Host before the Former Exterminator Turned Jesus-Themed Opportunist, we proceed to the two men discussing a poll of Democratic presidential hopefuls.

CM: ...and Hillary did not do well. Kerry did well.

DELAY: You're kidding.

MATTHEWS: I am NOT kidding. They didn't like Edwards -- they thought he was a rich lawyer, pretending to care about poor people...

DELAY: Too slick. Too slick.

MATTHEWS: ...and Hillary was a know-it-all.

DELAY: Nothing worse than a woman know-it-all.

You said it, Tom. Women should not try to be president. They should be content to hang out in their cage, occasionally clean up after you and get sodomized when there aren't any attractive goats around. Why do all these women want to learn things and achieve and move up in the world? It's so tiresome.

And after the questionable political analysis and rampant mysogeny portion of the pre-show countdown in completed, Matthews goes back to groveling and bowing before the altar of soon-to-be-convicted-felon Tom DeLay. Seriously, this guy sounds more like Grima Wormtongue than a host on MSNBC.

MATTHEWS: Thanks. I owe you one. I owe you two -- today and last night.

DELAY: No you don't.

MATTHEWS: No, I do.

DELAY: I appreciate it.

I owe you? I fucking owe you? And how does Matthews propose he will pay back this debt? Through positive coverage of DeLay? A briefcase full of money? A reach-around? What are we talking about here? DeLay quits politics in shame, appears on "Hardball" to cover his own ass, and Chris Matthews acts like he's being visited by the Virgin Mary!

"Oh, Tom DeLay has appeared before me! Great is the wonder and glory of the Universe! And now we shall have a feast, the grandest feast ever to be assembled in the halls of man, with ambrosia and turducken and maybe even those little cocktail weenies served on the toothpicks! Truly this is the most blessed and awesome day in my entire life! To have an icon, nay, a God like Tom DeLay in my very own studio! I AM NOT WORTHY! TELL ME THY BIDDING, O GREAT ONE, AND SURELY IT WILL BE DONE THIS VERY NIGHT! I AM YOUR FAITHFUL SERVANT, CHRISTOPHER MATTHEWS! COMMAND ME, LORD!"