Dog Patrol

Incomprehensible. That's the word righty blogger Andy Sullivan uses to describe this New York Times story. And for once, I totally agree with Sully.

Two Navy helicopter pilots and their crews returned from New Orleans on Aug. 30 expecting to be greeted as lifesavers after ferrying more than 100 hurricane victims to safety.

Instead, their superiors chided the pilots, Lt. David Shand and Lt. Matt Udkow, at a meeting the next morning for rescuing civilians when their assignment that day had been to deliver food and water to military installations along the Gulf Coast.

Okay, these two guys...are heroes.

It's not a word I toss around all the time. Every time someone survives something harrowing, everyone calls them a hero. If you're really good at sports, particularly if you've only got one ball or your mom has cancer or you have a painful hangnail or something, you're a hero. Some occupations automatically confer hero status on a guy. Like being a firefighter.

Now I'm not going to bash fire fighters. You've certainly got to be kind of brave to want to run into towering infernos for a living. But you're only a hero firefighter if you actually save some people from a burning building or something. Just riding on the back of the truck...well, I'll say you're halfway there. (Obviously, all the FDNY guys who died in the WTC...heroes. Duh.)

But anyway, these two Navy pilots. Holy shit. Here were their orders on August 30th, during the worst of the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, and before FEMA managed to get in there and start helping people out:

The two lieutenants were each piloting a Navy H-3 helicopter - a type often used in rescue operations as well as transport and other missions - on that Tuesday afternoon, delivering emergency food, water and other supplies to Stennis Space Center, a federal facility near the Mississippi coast. The storm had cut off electricity and water to the center, and the two helicopters were supposed to drop their loads and return to Pensacola, their home base, said Cmdr. Michael Holdener, Pensacola's air operations chief.

"Their orders were to go and deliver water and parts and to come back," Commander Holdener said.

On their way back, after their "mission" was complete, they couldn't help but notice that no one was helping anyone in New Orleans. They report being "shocked" at the conditions on the ground in Louisiana. So, unable to contact their base, they went ahead and started saving lives.

Hovering over power lines, his crew dropped a basket to pick up two residents at a time. He took them to Lakefront Airport, where local emergency medical teams had established a makeshift medical center.

Meanwhile, Lieutenant Shand landed his helicopter on the roof of an apartment building, where more than a dozen people were marooned. Women and children were loaded first aboard the helicopter and ferried to the airport, he said.

Returning to pick up the rest, the crew learned that two blind residents had not been able to climb up through the attic to the roof and were still in the building. Two crew members entered the darkened building to find the men, and led them to the roof and into the helicopter, Lieutenant Shand said.

Can you imagine? Running around inside a dark building looking for two blind guys you don't even know, while outside, toxic sludge rises up slowly from the ground and armed chaotic anarchy seems close at hand?

So, when they got back to the base, flower petals and red carpets, right?

The next morning, though, the two crews were called to a meeting with Commander Holdener, who said he told them that while helping civilians was laudable, the lengthy rescue effort was an unacceptable diversion from their main mission of delivering supplies. With only two helicopters available at Pensacola to deliver supplies, the base did not have enough to allow pilots to go on prolonged search and rescue operations.

Juh? The two guys, who went out of their way to airlift dozens of helpless strangers to safety, got a lecture from their boss? It was more important for them to return to base than to save innocent lives?

"We all want to be the guys who rescue people," Commander Holdener said. "But they were told we have other missions we have to do right now and that is not the priority."

Rescuing people is not the priority? Well, Commandante, why don't you goddamn well make it the fucking priority! Right now! I'm pretty sure if you ask the American people, they would say that saving New Orleans' citizenry is more important than making sure the Stennis Space Center is fully stocked.

The order to halt civilian relief efforts angered some helicopter crews. Lieutenant Udkow, who associates say was especially vocal about voicing his disagreement to superiors, was taken out of the squadron's flying rotation temporarily and assigned to oversee a temporary kennel established at Pensacola to hold pets of service members evacuated from the hurricane-damaged areas, two members of the unit said. Lieutenant Udkow denied that he had complained and said he did not view the kennel assignment as punishment.

So, Uncle Sam thought the guy who had rescued people off the roof of a building was better and more efficiently assigned to...dog patrol. Dog patrol, folks. Your US government was assigning guys on August 31st to dog patrol while New Orleans sank into a pit of goo.

Everyone with a hand in this debacle should lose their jobs, from the local politicians right on up to FEMA head Michael "Brownie" Brown on up to the Chimp in Chief. [Well, okay, Rummy can stay...but only because he's so adorable...]