Blood Sucker

There's a mosquito in my room. I'm not 100% sure how he got in here, or where he hides all day while I'm hanging out, because I've never actually seen him. But I know he's here, because he's sucking out all of my precious bodily fluids by night.

Each morning for the past several days, I have awoken with itchy spots all over my feet and legs. Now, I know what you're thinking...he's cleverly hiding beneath my sheets! I thought of that already, and changed them (for the first time since the Clinton Administration). Still being eaten alive. In fact, I think my moving stuff around only enraged the mosquito further, because this morning I woke up and he had stung me behind the ear.

Behind the fucking ear, can you believe that? How did he sneak up on me without waking me up? I mean, his wings are flapping, like, 100 times a second. It gives off a distinctive hum, which might not be that loud unless the damn thing was doing it from my inner ear. I had no idea I could sleep so soundly. I gotta stop chugging that rubbing alcohol before going to bed.

Anyway, he must be a particularly crafty insect, because I've scoured the room and can't find him. But I know he's here. It's amazing that something so small could terrorize me like this, and yet, here we are. This must be how Dr. Livingston felt.