Friday, June 10, 2005

Seems Like Old Crimes

German bank robbers known as "The Grandpa Gang" were finally apprehended this week. They are 74, 73 and 64 years old. That's awesome.

Can you imagine a 74 year old robbing you at gunpoint? Half of you would probably be really scared he's going to shoot you, even accidentally, and half of you has just got to be impressed that this old codger has the audacity to continue committing crimes. I mean, most Americans retire from their cubicle gigs by 74; this guy's still pulling bank jobs!

The oldest, Rudolf Richter, 74, was sentenced to nine years, while Wilfried Ackermann, 73, received a 10-year sentence. Both confessed to taking part in the robberies in Germany over a 16-year span when their trial opened last month.

"It's unbelievable how easy it is to rob a bank once you've done it a couple of times," Wilfried Ackermann said during his trial, adding that fear of having no money and spending the rest of his years in a nursing home drove him to commit the crimes.

He'll be played by Robert Duvall in my upcoming movie version. (For Richter, ideally we'd get Clint Eastwood, Paul Newman or Gene Hackman. I would also accept Gary Oldman in old age make-up.)

The guys were even using antique guns dating back to WWII! Seriously, this is too good to be true. If this story really hasn't already been snapped up by Hollywood, it will be in the next few days.

The three also were convicted of violating weapons laws, and they were accused of using handguns dating from the war, as well as automatic weapons and sometimes even fake hand grenades.

Fake hand grenades!

Richter said he was motivated by the fact that he had already served time in prison for a bank robbery he did not commit.

"Many years were already gone from my life," he said. "When I got out of prison I said to myself, 'Now I'm going to even.'"

Actually, now that I think about it, Lee Marvin was born to play this part. Providing he could master a German accent. And, you know, stop being dead.


Cory said...

With Bea Arthur as the Gang's wisecracking cohort!

Boyd McKendrick said...

Sorry, man, they already made a movie like this many years ago. It was with George Burns, Art Carney and Lee Strassburg. It's called Going in Style. I think it's a great movie. But then, I think Forrest Gump sucked ass, so what do I know about movies?

Lons' Mom said...

Any chance you can come up with a part for your Daddio?