With Apologies to Ken Campbell

Last night, we had the big Big Red One autograph signing, and I'd say it came off rather well, all things considered. There was an unfortunate appearance by a particular Los Angelino who shall remain nameless, a man who tends to show up at film-related events and regale anyone within shouting distance, in a false English accent mind you, with tales of his made-up voice acting career. Really...this guy exists. Here's a sample quote:

"You may recognize my voice, I do a terrific amount of voice acting work. I will be appearing in the new PIXAR film, it's called Razzamatazz, it hasn't been made yet. That will appear in 2007."

That guy is hilarious, and waited in line to get a DVD signed by the cast of Big Red One not once, but twice. I thought we were going to have to kick him out.

But other than that, everything went off pretty well.

Oh, yeah, except for me totally making an ass out of myself in front of the cast and crew of Sam Fuller's 1980 war film The Big Red One.

And what's worse than making a stupid mistake in front of your boss and several Hollywood personalities? Why, having the moment captured on film, of course.



Okay, I shall set the scene for you. That's Laser Blazer's owner and operator, Ron, there on the far right. Behind him at the table, going from right to left, are Big Red One stars Ken Campbell, Kelly Ward and Robert Carradine. That jowly, beet-red guy who seems to have just messed himself? Yeah, that's me.

I always look beet-red in pictures, as if I'm always on the verge of spontaneous combustion whenever photographic equipment is nearby. This (and this alone) pretty much kept me out of the modeling game.

But anyway, back to me being humiliated. As I said, one of the stars on this autograph panel is a man named Ken Campbell. Here is his highly misleading IMDB page, which will figure in quite a bit to this story.

As you can clearly see on the IMDB page, Mr. Campbell appeared in both The Big Red One and A Fish Called Wanda. So, as we wanted to have many copies of all of the stars' movies available for purchase at the event, I went ahead and suggested the ordering of several copies of A Fish Called Wanda.

We put it out on a special display over this past week, and Fish Called Wanda actually sold pretty well. And why not? It's a terrific movie, and hey, one of the film's stars is going to be signing movies at our store.

So, it's the event, and I'm up at the front with my boss getting our store's rental DVD's signed. There's a Long Riders and Revenge of the Nerds for Carradine, a Comic Book: The Movie and even, yes, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope for Mark Hamill, Grease for Kelly Ward and...here we go...A Fish Called Wanda for Ken Campbell.

So, here's how the conversation in that above picture went down.

RON: Oh, Mr. Campbell, we've got a Fish Called Wanda for you to sign.

KEN: I wasn't in that. That's a different Ken Campbell.

ME: Ooooohhh, really?

RON (to me): A different Ken Campbell, huh...

KEN: Yeah.

KELLY WARD: It's a good movie, though.

Oops.

Once again, I maintain that this entirely the fault of IMDB. Look at that page! It says it's the same Ken Campbell.

The thing is, I knew I should have rewatched Fish Called Wanda. I mean, I own it, it's a fabulous movie. And when I saw him (as Lemchek) in Big Red One, I didn't recognize him.

But, alas, it was not to be. So I looked like the befuddled moron you see pictured above.

Other than that, I'd say the event worked great. My co-worker (and fellow Cinegeek) Ari got himself a signed Original Star Wars trilogy Laserdisc set signed (Hamill wrote "Force Yourself!," which is undeniably cool, even if it doesn't quite make sense). Now that, my friends, is a keepsake worth having.