It's Life, Jim, But Not As We Know It

Is there a secret "Star Trek"-pedophile connection? I mean, I guess it kind of makes sense. Trekkies are often single adult males with poor social skills, and this is also the common profile for an active child molester.

But according to an aside in a recent LA Times article about police operations to catch sex offenders, a vast majority of arrested child molesters are "Star Trek" fans. They spoke with members of the Toronto Sex Crimes Unit:

On one wall is a "Star Trek" poster with investigators' faces substituted for the Starship Enterprise crew. But even that alludes to a dark fact of their work: All but one of the offenders they have arrested in the last four years was a hard-core Trekkie.

Det. Constable Warren Bulmer slips on a Klingon sash and shield they confiscated in a recent raid. "It has something to do with a fantasy world where mutants and monsters have power and where the usual rules don't apply," Bulmer reflects. "But beyond that, I can't really explain it."

All but one? Are they serious? That's a pretty heavy statistic to take in. That implies not just some demographic overlap, but a genuine pattern. Could there be something that attracts pedophiles to "Star Trek" fandom? There are hardly even any kids in the show or movies...so what could it be?

I'm not so sure about Det. Bulmer's theory. The mutants and monsters in "Star Trek" don't really have any power. The Federation has all the power, and those are mostly older human males (with the occasional Sulu or Avery Brooks thrown in for good measure).

And besides, when you watch the original series "Star Trek," you're not rooting for Klingons to win! You're siding with Captain Kirk, watching him seduce green women or outsmart really unintelligent aliens who want to make him duel to the death with Spock.

But before we go any further, let's consider the evidence presented by the blog Corante, where blogger Ernest Miller was similarly intrigued by the LA Times quote.

I called the Child Exploitation Section of the Toronto Sex Crimes Unit and spoke to Det. Ian Lamond, who was familiar with the LA Times article.

Detective Lamond does claim that a majority of those arrested show "at least a passing interest in Star Trek, if not a strong interest."

They've arrested well over one hundred people over the past four years and Det. Lamond claims they can gauge this interest in Star Trek by the arrestees' "paraphenalia, books, videotapes and DVDs." I asked if this wasn't simply a general interest in science fiction and fantasy, such as Star Wars or Harry Potter or similar. Paraphrasing his answer, he said, while there was sometimes other science fiction and fantasy paraphenalia, Star Trek was the most consistent and when he referred to a majority of the arrestees being Star Trek fans, it was Star Trek specific.

So The Times was somewhat off in claiming that all but one people arrested for sex crimes involving a minor were hardcore "Star Trek" fans. There's no way to back that up. But still, this is an odd coincidence. I mean, if you were to tell me that the vast majority of pederasts own at least one "Star Trek" DVD, I'd consider that a newsworthy item.

I'm very curious about alternative theories for the Trekkie-pervert connection. Is it the silly, form-fitting costumes? The similarity between Romulan ale and Jesus juice?

It certainly can't be because "Star Trek" appeals to potential victims, as I suspect a child would be more entertained by the molestation itself than "Deep Space Nine" reruns.

Oh, was that too far? Maybe I just better stop...