Ice Hastles

A funny Sports Illustrated story by way of good old reliable FARK. What would I do without FARK in seeking out goofball links for my blog? Probably go to Gorilla Mask. But that's a different story altogether.

Anyway, this one concerns Daunte Culpepper, a player for, um, some football team...[Googling Daunte Culpepper]...The Minnesota Vikings, who I'd like to add play for something called the NFC North Division. Daunte's their quarterback, which I'm told is a crucial position. I'm also told that the correct spelling of his name would be D-A-N-T-E.

So, he's doing a press conference and some paralyzed high school football player in the front row (quite crudely) asks him for "some of that ice." Now, if you ask me, this is not a classy maneuver to begin with. I mean, even if you're being cute, asking a professional athlete for their jewelry in a crowded room full of people puts everyone in an awkward position, and makes it look like you're attempting to use your handicap for personal gain. Plus, can you imagine the sheer amount of neck sweat likely produced by an NFL starting quarterback? Gross.

But anyway, Daunte did a silly thing. He went down off the stage and put two of his diamond blinged-out necklaces on this kid. So, the kid's mother starts crying and the dad starts blubbering and the kid has his picture taken for a newspaper holding the jewelry up for the cameras, proudly displaying his new ice with a level of awe and respect typically reserved for the Shroud of Turin.

And then Daunte politely asks for his jewelry back once the cameras are off.

Wow. I mean...wow...

He did take down the kid's address, promising to send him something in the mail. I'm sure it will be just as good.

And I'm sure there's a lesson here somewhere. Even massively wealthy athletes can be extremely petty. Nope, I already knew that. Um...greedy cripples who beg for free handouts will eventually get theirs in the end? No, that's a touch cruel. Okay, maybe there is no lesson here. This is just a sad story with no moral whatsoever.