White Hunter, Black Heart

Now that I have Sirius radio in my room, I will occasionally flip on one of the wingnut channels, just to hear what liberal homo agenda propaganda has them foaming at the mouth and screaming senseless invective today.

But I still can't bring myself to listen to Rush Limbaugh. His show's completely intolerable. If I wanted to hear several hours of angry racially-motivated invective, I could just tell the video store customers we weren't going to carry any more Asian porn. I don't need to hear that shit on the radio. Seriously, now that everyone knows he's a hypocritical drug addict, I would expect them to stop listening to his show every day. I mean, look at Don Imus!

Wait, what? Imus is still on the radio? No way. He's certifiably insane. Have you seen him in that dippy cowboy hat? You know, Don, even professional cowboys take their hats off when inside, you fucking crotchety old douchebag. There's no way he's still being broadcast. MSNBC must be setting him up in a fake studio for a few hours a day to humor him.

So, anyway, I didn't hear Rush's show this morning, which featured Vice President Richard Milhouse Cheney defending his excellent Middle Eastern adventure. (I'm dreading the inevitable sequel - George and Dick's bogus Iraq journey.) Here's a segment, dutifully transcribed at Think Progress. The italics are mine:

CHENEY: Well, I think there’s some natural level of concern out there because in fact, you know, it wasn’t over instantaneously. It’s been a little over three years now since we went into Iraq, so I don’t think it’s surprising that people are concerned.

On the other hand, this government has only been in office about five months, five or six months now. They’re off to a good start. It is difficult, no question about it, but we’ve now got over 300,000 Iraqis trained and equipped as part of their security forces. They’ve had three national elections with higher turnout than we have here in the United States. If you look at the general overall situation, they’re doing remarkably well.

It’s still very, very difficult, very tough. Nobody should underestimate the extent to which we’re engaged there with this sort of, at present, the “major front” of the war on terror. That’s what Osama bin Laden says, and he’s right.

THEY'RE DOING REMARKABLY WELL!

THE VICE-PRESIDENT SAYS THAT IRAQ IS DOING REMARKABLY WELL!

Yes, yes, nothing more to see here, folks. Move along. Everything in Iraq is quite ripping, actually. Jolly good fun. Nudge nudge snap snap grin grin wink wink say no more.

Nothing at all about the Iraq situation is going remarkably well, Dick. Nothing.

Okay, maybe that's not true. The situation in Iraq is going remarkably well IF:

- you're speaking exclusively in terms of KBR/Halliburton profits
- you're the owner and proprieter of Baghdad's premiere mortuary supplies retailer, Krazy Khalid's World of Coffins
- you are a horny virgin in Paradise eagerly waiting for the arrival of some handsome Iraqi martyr
- you are an Executive VP in Osama bin Laden's crack Marketing Department
- you've just hired screenwriter Cyrus Nowrasteh to pen your new 4 hour ABC-TV mini-series, The Path to Iraq, implying that President Clinton's penis detached itself from his body by night, helicoptered over to Iraq and started passing nuclear secrets and dirty bombs to Saddam Hussein
- you are a sick, evil fuck

Interestingly, all of these scenarios apply to Vice President Cheney. (Bet you didn't know he was a virgin...Turns out, he's always had a weak heart, rendering him incapable of physically pleasing a woman. Hence the 5 Vietnam deferments. It's not just because he's a withered, old man who will hopefully die soon. Plus, he's married to Lynne Cheney. I mean, what would you do?)

I mean, just listen to this asshole!

"I think there’s some natural level of concern out there because in fact, you know, it wasn’t over instantaneously."

Instantaneously?!??!? INSTANTANEOUSLY! We entered Iraq in mid-2003! That's over three years ago! Think Progress points out that this is about as long as our involvement in WWII. But I don't think you need to go to a reference that far in the past to recognize the enormous length and unthinkable cost of America's invasion of Iraq. 2006's high school graduates were 15 when the Iraq War began. The youngest soldiers who went over there in that first wave are now 21.

It's been a long time. For Iraqis, it has been 3 years of unceasing tragedy, death, sorrow and trauma. Recent estimates peg the Iraqi casualties at a grotesque 655,000, a mini-Holocaust. even if it's 1/6 of that number, it's to the eternal shame of our nation. It will be centuries before their nation can have a chance of overcoming such a period of destruction.

And this fucking disgusting pig of a world leader goes on another disgusting pig's radio program and squeals about how everything's peaches and blowjobs and golden fucking unicorns made of cotton candy in Iraq. About how some of the more timid Americans are balking because we didn't have complete victory right away, but it's only because they're cut and run defeatists who totally want to raise your taxes and let the brown people stay. Dick Cheney has got to be one of the most vile human beings on the planet. He's like Himmler, only doughier.

There's significance to Dick's showing his face in public today of all days. As you may be aware, today George Bush officially relieved himself on our Constitution by signing into law the Smoke Abdul's Ass Act of 2006. (It's also known as the Military Commissions Act.)

Civil libertarians and leading Democrats decried the law as a violation of American values. The
American Civil Liberties Union said it was "one of the worst civil liberties measures ever enacted in American history." Democratic Sen. Russ Feingold of Wisconsin said, "We will look back on this day as a stain on our nation's history."

"It allows the government to seize individuals on American soil and detain them indefinitely with no opportunity to challenge their detention in court," Feingold said. "And the new law would permit an individual to be convicted on the basis of coerced testimony and even allow someone convicted under these rules to be put to death."



Hey, if the Founding Fathers didn't want George Bush to torture people, they would have written that explicity in the Constitution in the first place.

"Article XXXV: Should some obtuse fart-catcher named George W. Bush ever rise to the office of the Presidency, his tormenting of the Exotic Arabique with extremeties of temperature, threatening palaver or gross acts of sexual deviancy shall be grounds for removal from office, regardless of vocal, sycophantic support provided by the Congress."

And cause I don't see that anywhere in there, the ACLU should just shut up.

The swift implementation of the law is a rare bit of good news for Bush as casualties mount in Iraq in daily violence. Lawmakers are increasingly calling for a change of strategy, and political anxieties are jeopardizing Republican chances of hanging onto control of Congress.

Bush has been criticizing Democrats who voted against the law, called the Military Commissions Act of 2006, during campaign appearances around the country. He has suggested that votes against the law show that Democrats would not protect the country from another terrorist attack.

Republican House leaders, in a tough battle to maintain their majority, echoed those criticisms Tuesday in an attempt to get some political points out of the legislation they supported. "The Democratic plan would gingerly pamper the terrorists who plan to destroy innocent Americans' lives," House Speaker Dennis Hastert said.

Yeah, Democrats want to pamper the terrorists. Right. That's a fair way to characterize our opposition to interrogations like this:

His tiny cell -- nine feet by seven feet -- had no view to the outside world. The door to his cell had a window, however, it was covered by a magnetic sticker, depriving Mr. Padilla of even a view into the hallway and adjacent common areas of his unit. He was not given a clock or a watch and for most of the time of his captivity, he was unaware whether it was day or night, or what time of year or day it was.

In addition to his extreme isolation, Mr. Padilla was also viciously deprived of sleep. This sleep deprivation was achieved in a variety of ways. For a substantial period of his captivity, Mr. Padilla's cell contained only a steel bunk with no mattress. The pain and discomfort of sleeping on a cold, steel bunk made it impossible for him to sleep. Mr. Padilla was not given a mattress until the tail end of his captivity. Mr. Padilla's captors did not solely rely on the inhumane conditions of his living arrangements to deprive him of regular sleep. A number of ruses were employed to keep Mr. Padilla from getting necessary sleep and rest. One of the tactics his captors employed was the creation of loud noises near and around his cell to interrupt any rest Mr. Padilla could manage on his steel bunk. As Mr. Padilla was attempting to sleep, the cell doors adjacent to his cell would be electronically opened, resulting in a loud clank, only to be immediately slammed shut. Other times, his captors would bang the walls and cell bars creating loud startling noises. These disruptions would occur throughout the night and cease only in the morning, when Mr. Padilla's interrogations would begin.

Not that it matters much when discussing the morality of torture, but we're talking about the treatment of a U.S. citizen here. Jose Padilla, from Puerto Rico. Regardless of his guilt or innocence of any crime, Padilla's case proves that coming from America is no guard against being subjected to this sort of cruel depravity.

Mr. Padilla was often put in stress positions for hours at a time. He would be shackled and manacled, with a belly chain, for hours in his cell. Noxious fumes would be introduced to his room causing his eyes and nose to run. The temperature of his cell would be manipulated, making his cell extremely cold for long stretches of time. Mr. Padilla was denied even the smallest, and most personal shreds of human dignity by being deprived of showering for weeks at a time, yet having to endure forced grooming at the whim of his captors.

He was threatened with being cut with a knife and having alcohol poured on the wounds. He was also threatened with imminent execution. He was hooded and forced to stand in stress positions for long durations of time. He was forced to endure exceedingly long interrogation sessions, without adequate sleep, wherein he would be confronted with false information, scenarios, and documents to further disorient him. Often he had to endure multiple interrogators who would scream, shake, and otherwise assault Mr. Padilla. Additionally, Mr. Padilla was given drugs against his will, believed to be some form of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) or phencyclidine (PCP), to act as a sort of truth serum during his interrogations.

Sick. This is our country now, I guess. Still kind of hard for me to believe.

At least we still have National Character Counts Week! From...sigh...The White House web site.

America's strength is found in the spirit and character of our people. During National Character Counts Week, we renew our commitment to instilling values in our young people and to encouraging all Americans to remember the importance of good character.

And what better way to celebrate the importance of building good character in our young people than signing legislation allowing me to spirit them or their loved ones away in the night, totally on a personal whim, subjecting them to several years of torture and interrogation with absolutely no oversight from our justice system or another branch of our government?

Countless individuals throughout our country demonstrate character by volunteering their time and energy to help neighbors in need. The men and women of our Armed Forces set an example of character by bravely putting the security of our Nation before their own lives. We also see character in the family members, teachers, coaches, and other dedicated individuals whose hearts are invested in the future of our children.

Yeah, just like "Coach" Denny Hastert, who sets an example for all Americans when he covers up his friend's pernicious and ongoing attempts to lure teenagers into bed and then blames it all on his staff and political enemies.

I mean, a week dedicated to celebrating the importance of "character"? These guys aren't even trying any more. This is some of the most weak-ass, pathetic propaganda I have ever seen. It might as well have been National Balloons are Fun Week. Or National Apathy Week, when we all remember the importance of shutting up, maintaining the status quo, keeping our head down, not making waves and allowing sleeping dogs to lie.

"You know, millions of Americans look the other way while all manners of atrocities are committed in their name, and I wanted to set aside a special week out of the year to honor their spirit of laziness and their lack of concern for every living being on this planet that is not them. That's why I, George W. Bush, Preznodent of these 54 United States, hereby declare this week to be National Apathy Week.

"I encourage communities and teachers to honor Apathy Week with special ceremonies and remembrances. Why not take your class to a Natural History Museum and caution them to ignore any learning that might interfere with their rigid, pre-determined worldviews? Or write your Congressman encouraging him not to vote unless it's to send pork back to his home state? Or stage a pro-Rumsfeld March in front of your town's Veterans of Obscure Wars social club?

"No matter how we choose to celebrate National Apathy Week, I hope it provides all Americans with a chance to reflect on how they've done nothing and ignored their government's malfeasance before, and ways they can remain even more ignorant in the months and years ahead."