He is the Champion, My Friends...

Yes, Richard Santorum is the Worst Person Alive. So far, he hasn't responded to any of my e-mails or my letter, informing him of his win and asking him to please accept the trophy I'll be mailing out to him personally.

And, just so you know, I wasn't just going to take a dump in a box and mail it to him under the auspices of sending a "trophy." That's juvenile. I was going to use a dog turd.

Anyway, Santorum's on his book tour for his new treatise, "It Takes a Family." I haven't seen anyone comment as of yet on his book title's obvious reference to Hillary Clinton's book, "It Takes a Village." The sentiment she expressed, a shortened version of the African saying "It takes a village to raise a child," commented on the need for a strong infrastructure of social services to assist in the care of American children.

Rick of course wants to mock this sentiment, insisting that rather than a village, it takes a strong, Christian family organized and structured traditionally to raise a healthy child, and if this means alienating everyone else in your community, so be it.

It's very telling about Rick's psyche that there mere idea of community upsets him so. He has no respect for anyone's perspective or lifestyle other than his own. You know, psychiatrists have a word for people who are utterly incapable of empathizing with others or seeing things from different perspectives..Sociopaths.

Want proof? Here's a video of Santorum explaining that, though he has voted for measures which support contraception, he personally thinks it harms women and society. Thanks to the fantastic resource Santorum Exposed for the link.

So, okay, you see what I mean, right? The guy obviously hates sex and sexuality, probably stemming from some repressed childhood trauma. Now, I'm not saying the 2005 Braffy winner was definitely diddled by a priest or a dirty uncle growing up. I'm just saying it's really super-likely. I'd like to put on The Who's "Tommy" and hang out with him for an hour or so to scope his reaction...

But it's not enough that he hates sex and wishes it didn't exist...He has to go on television and say that sex before marriage leads to "problems in society." Well, you know what, Rick? That sounds like an interesting experiment. Why don't you go find a society where no one has sex with anyone outside of marriage, and even has sex within marriage purely for purposes of procreation, and then we can use that as a "control" group.

Oh, wait, that's never happened? You mean, even in the theocratic societies of the Middle East, where such laws are already firmly in place, people still cheat all the time and have sex outside of marriage? Why, it's almost like such things are human nature!

I also like how, in the video, he comments that he's against "artificial" birth control. He wants you to know he's fine with simply Pulling Out. Skeet skeet skeet.