Happy Father's Day

I went home to Orange County for Father's Day today...Went with my father as he got a car wash, hung out with my mom for a brief time, enjoyed some barbecue with my parents and grandparents.

My grandfather, upon receiving the gift of some underwear, made the following joke:

"These look like dancing shorts. Plenty of ball room!"

It's kind of comforting, in a way, that a man over the age of 80 still finds jokes about his balls to be funny. I guess that once men reach a certain age, their sense of humor essentially stops maturing. That age is 8.

I got the new Casino DVD for my father, which isn't a very extravagant gift. But then again, I'm not a very extravagant guy. I'd make a joke here about my bleak financial situation, but every time I do that, my grandmother reads it and gets upset, and calls my parents to tell them to give me more money. Which, in a way, kind of works out for me, but still I recognize it's unfair. So let me just say, it was the most enjoyable present that I could afford. Well, I guess I could have bought my dad a bacon-wrapped hot dog or something, and that would have been even cheaper, but the opportunity for that kind of gift really didn't present itself, and I happen to work in a DVD store.

We were originally planning to see Batman Begins this afternoon, but it took me several hours to reach Orange County via the freeway, which was more backed up than The Hamburgler's colon. (Too graphic?) Seriously, I could have walked home in about the same amount of time. Flightless birds on qualuudes wearing leg irons move faster than Saturday traffic on the I-5. By the time I reached home, there was no longer any time for an afternoon movie. In fact, I had missed Father's Day and half of the following work week.

But it was nice to see my family and catch up with everyone. My mother sent me home with enough food to feed the cast and crew of Lawrence of Arabia, with enough leftovers for the cast and crew of Bridge on the River Kwai, my grandfather will get to see Ray Romano live at the OC Performing Arts Center as a Father's Day gift from my folks and my grandparents even slipped me $50! Which makes me feel crummy, because they're on a fixed income, and I'll just blow it on something stupid like an all-region DVD player. (I mean, how can I not already have an all-region DVD player? It boggles the mind!) But, you know, they mean well...