Porn Under a Bad Sign

Republican Senator Sam Brownback is addicted to porn.

Well, not watching porn. I think. Who knows, maybe he is?

But I'm speaking about his receiving campaign contributions from companies that profit from porn. According to a press release from the Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, their organization is a lost cause. No, wait! The press release actually says that many senators who stridently fight against the porn industry also happen to accept large amounts of money from the porn industry. Nice!

CREW’s executive director Melanie Sloan stated “it is one thing to be silent on the issue and accept porn purveyor’s contributions. However, these Members of Congress attempt to slap pornographers with fines and legislative restrictions with one hand and turn around and accept porn profits with the other. Our report details the hypocrisy of this ‘skin caucus.’”

I like that phrase, "skin caucus." And not just because it would make an excellent band name. Also because it's kind of mean-spirited and duplicitous, exactly like most of these Senators.

According to the report, Republican Senator Brownback accepted $17,000 in campaign contributions from smut peddlers. The money was a welcome change for Brownback, who generally accepts contributions only in the form of ass, gas or grass.

So, okay, maybe Sammy B. just doesn't see a problem with porno, and that's why he feels comfortable taking their money.

Oh, wait, no, he's just a hypocrite. Because way back in November of 2004, he chaired a Senate sub-committee studying, wait for it...the dangers presented by pornography to individual health and the well-being of society. In your face. The San Francisco Chronicle reported at that time:

Internet pornography is corrupting children and hooking adults into an addiction that threatens their jobs and families, a panel of anti-porn advocates told the hearing organized by Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan., chairman of the Commerce subcommittee on science.

Brownback, a father of five, said when he was a boy, the typical kid's exposure was limited to occasional peeks at dirty magazines illicitly obtained by a buddy.

Now, he said, pornography seems pervasive. Children run across it while researching homework on the Internet. Vulgar ads arrive unexpectedly by e-mail. Some of his middle-age male friends limit their time alone in hotel rooms to avoid the temptation of graphic pay-per-view movies, Brownback said.

Children run across it while researching homework on the Internet? Now, I've done a lot of Internet research myself. Only last year, I conducted all of my research for a Master's thesis online. And not once have I come across pornography online completely by accident. Sure, sometimes you get spam e-mails with boobies in them, but that's not the same as saying that kids are accidentally stumbling upon sick fetish video while searching for Nicaragua's chief export (coffee). If you're looking for multiplication tables and instead you find Larry Flynt's secret stash, you're definitely doing something wrong. I'd go pick up a copy of "The Internets for Dummies" immediately.

And that bit about the graphic pay-per-view movies...his friends are so weak-willed, they can't remain alone in a hotel room without ordering porn on the TV? It's called self-control, Brownie, look into it.

Here's some more political buffoons who criticize adult entertainment while accepting their money on the side.

Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman – who has long campaigned against the growing coarseness of our culture -- along with renown gambling addict William Bennet, handed out “Silver Sewer” awards to those who made immoral videos, and who has criticized MTV for having porn stars on the air, accepted over $16,000.

Cong. Fred Upton, who leads the charge against indecency, accepted over $56,000. Arizona Senator John McCain, who claimed to be the “anti-porn” presidential candidate in ads that ran prior to the South Carolina primary, pocketed $46,000 from corporations and executives who profit from porn.

Oh, not Diamond Joe Lieberman! The guy who claimed "Friends" was inappropriate entertainment takes money from porn producers? Why isn't this being widely reported right now? Oh, right, because all the TV and radio schedules are full up with Michael Jackson diddling young kids. Well, maybe they'll get to this stuff when that blows over.

Look, people, there's nothing wrong with porn, okay? Guys need it. It's just one of those things. It may make you uncomfortable, you may not like it, it may objectify women in a way that appears unseemly. But it's around, it's not going away, so get used to it. This information proves beyond any doubt that these Senators keep bringing it up only as a way to trick you into voting for them. They don't really care about porn availability. If they did, they'd tell these guys who make millions of dollars selling it to take a hike.

But they don't. They cash the checks and hope no one will notice.

My thanks, by the way, to Eschaton for the link.