Affleck, Auteur?

Ben Affleck's pretended to be an actor, he's pretended to be a screenwriter, he's pretended to be a professional poker player...So, what's next for this Master of Make-Believe? What else? He's going to pretend to direct a movie!

But let me back up a moment. Many of you may be thinking, "Lons, didn't Affleck not only write the successful film Good Will Hunting, but even win an Oscar for his efforts?" And you would be correct. You may also be thinking, "Lons, don't you overuse the fake rhetorical question device when starting posts, for a lack of another, more original comic idea?" If you were thinking that, shut up.

Affleck theoretically composed the script to Good Will Hunting with his good friend Matt "Bagger Vance" Damon. But the circumstances surrounding the creation of this screenplay are a bit odd. First of all, where are the other scripts written by this duo? I'm not a huge fan of Good Will Hunting myself, but it's a highly polished script that follows the screenwriting formula so well, it's actually used as an educational tool in screenwriting programs at universities around the country.

So before you could just sit down and knock out Good Will Hunting, you've probably written a few other feature scripts, whether or not they've been produced. But I've never heard of any discussion about anything Matt and Ben wrote before the production of their first feature! It's a bit strange.

Also, where are all the scripts they've written since then? Or, actually, any written material from either one of them. I mean, I know the guy likes poker, but he's had no brainstorming time since the mid 90's?

If you're a screenwriter, a screenwriter good enough to earn an Oscar before your 30th birthday, is it likely you'd only have one story to tell, ever? Wouldn't you think the two of them might have whipped up at least one other concept by now? Neither one of them has even written a long column or anything. It's like, one Oscar-winning script, then nothing for a decade.

It makes such a good story. Two lifelong friends struggled for years before writing the script that rocketed the both of them to instant stardom. I can see why publicists and studio executives climbed all over one another to get on board with these guys after the movie hit it big. And I could understand if they embellished the truth about their involvement in the actual writing, for the sake of the legend. I'm not saying I know for sure Affleck and Damon didn't scribe that movie, and like I said, I don't think it's exactly a classic film...I'm just saying that I'm skeptical.

Which brings me back around to Affleck directing the upcoming film "Gone, Baby, Gone." Believe it or not, I've actually read the Dennis Lehane novel upon which this film will be based. It's one of his private eye books starring wisecracking detectives Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro. I've never really dug these Kenzie/Gennaro stories. They're usually too flip and jokey for my tastes. I really dig Lehane's clipped, dime-novel style and his narratives are generally compelling, but he's occasionally too ambitious for his own good. In the case of "Gone, Baby, Gone" and "Prayers for Rain," the books are too jokey and off-the-wall, and the cavalier attitude winds up sacrificing the intensity.

But as I said, it's a pretty decent mystery story, and I've no doubt it could be made into a zippy, fun movie. It's usually the mediocre books that make the best movies anyway.

But what has Ben Affleck done that's supposed to fill us with confidence about his ability to direct? It's also kind of a shame that his Project Greenlight projects, which he produces, only get meager $1 million budgets, which make any sort of practical contemporary studio filmmaking near impossible. He'll get $30 to start with, easy. And that's just for casting and catering. Why not just agree to star himself in the Project Greenlight movie, get John Gulager a budget of $30 million, and see what he can do?