Shorter George Will: "Men should dress like Fred Astaire! Video games rot your brain! Now get off my lawn!"
Denim is the infantile uniform of a nation in which entertainment frequently features childlike adults ("Seinfeld," "Two and a Half Men") and cartoons for adults ("King of the Hill"). Seventy-five percent of American "gamers" -- people who play video games -- are older than 18 and nevertheless are allowed to vote. In their undifferentiated dress, children and their childish parents become undifferentiated audiences for juvenilized movies (the six -- so far -- "Batman" adventures and "Indiana Jones and the Credit-Default Swaps," coming soon to a cineplex near you). Denim is the clerical vestment for the priesthood of all believers in democracy's catechism of leveling -- thou shalt not dress better than society's most slovenly. To do so would be to commit the sin of lookism -- of believing that appearance matters.
Jesus, this guy needs help. It's like one of those rare, asexual outbursts from Humbert Humbert. Maybe people like jeans because they are comfortable, George, and they wear them around town because they're not overly concerned with impressing your ignorant, crotchety old ass. Now go have an Ensure and a smile and leave the observational comedy to under-85's, anyone really whose understanding of American pop culture extends beyond the fucking Howdy Doody show.