Friday, March 23, 2007

Fanjayas Unite!

Oh, man, Sanjaya is totally going to win "American Idol" and it's going to be ridiculously awesome. It's not that the guy has absolutely no talent. It's that the guy has absolutely no talent and is incredibly creepy.

I think it was that hula dance. There was something genuinely unsettling about this entire sequence. His total lack of self-awareness, his willingness to be exploited and made to look ridiculous in front of literally millions of people. It was almost inhuman, that performance, and therefore compelling. You keep thinking, what's going on in his head? Doesn't he realize how poorly this is coming across? How lame he will be made to appear?


What's even more incredible than Sanjaya's combination of talentlessness and determination to go on television weekly to prove said talentlessness is the fact that some people out there genuinely like him! For reals! There's an actual community of people online who believe that Sanjaya haters like Simon Cowell dislike the guy because they are racist homophobes! (Trust me, none of it's worth linking to.)

I'm not sure who's more sad...The Sanjaya-lovers, either be deaf or abnormally attracted to shit-eating grins, or the Sanjaya-haters who are actually emotionally invested in the outcome of "American Idol."

Take the woman who has promised to fast until Sanjaya is kicked off the show. Wow, really? Doesn't she realize that she could do herself serious harm before next week's results come in? Maybe she's Jew-fasting, which is really more like having a late lunch when you get right down to it.


Kathy Lenhardt said...

I love the fact that you watch American Idol, although I shouldn't be surprised. You're still hilarious. Do you think the Vote For the Worst web site is the reason Sanjaya is still on, the 'tweens who think he's cute, the Indian phone banks or all of the above?
Kathy Lenhardt

P.S.--Hi, Lonnie! How are you?

Lons said...

Wow, talk about a blast from the past. I'm doing pretty well, I suppose, enjoying my highly mysterious and secretive new job. It's nice to hear from you after all these years (and it has been SEVERAL...12? 13?)

To answer your official query, I believe that Sanjaya's power comes from all three of your suggestions PLUS the immense reach of Howard Stern's endorsement, which the Smiling One received last week.

GimmeDaWatch said...

Where do I start? Im impervious to people's condescension when I bring up Idol, AI Rawks!!! I was pretty confused the last several weeks by Sanjaya not being cut, but that chick making the gruesome faces last week made up for all of it. I just assumed the Indos were working overtime with some combination of computer hacking skillz, overseas customer support illegally rigging their systems for mass vote bombing, and subway/7-11s forcing their employees to keep the phone on redial all night long. I briefly considered the idea that the above might be a cliched and vulgar analysis, but then whenever I feel like maybe I shouldnt say something, I am immediately compelled to say it. Racism is so sweet. Also, Sanjay isn't "completely devoid of talent", he can carry a tune ok, its just that he's an extremely effeminate cheesy poof who is incapable of conveying any real emotion, attitude, soul, or charisma.

kathylenhardt said...

Even though I can't say it around my daughter, I, too, believe that there is talent in Sanjaya. He needs "polishing." Back when Sundance was cut, I was actually relieved that Sanjaya was still there to be given the chance to prove himself. I also believe that he has more stage presence than Phil, so I'm not terribly upset that he's still there. It is all about entertainment, after all, and I'm certainly entertained by all of this!