Pardon My Zinger

John Kerry is not a funny man. Anyone who was alive and conscious during the 2004 election could tell you that. He was not my #1 (or even #2 or #3) choice for the Democratic nomination for President, but JK has a number of good qualities - he's an intelligent, courageous war hero with decades of political experience and a solid reputation as a strong leader. He's just woefully unfunny.

Which is fine with me. I don't think we need a funny guy in the White House. In fact, I'd rather the Commander in Chief not be constantly cracking wise. Schtick is undignified in a world leader. We've got a real joker in the office right now and he's not doing so good. (Why do I have a feeling that some of the time he was supposed to spend thinking about Iraq exit strategies were actually goofy nickname brainstorming sessions?)

So, yeah, Kerry's attempted burn of GWB (in essence, calling him stupid) backfired. Here's Keith Olbermann with the background:

Senator Kerry, as you well know, spoke at a college in Southern California. With bitter humor, he told the students that he had been in Texas the day before, that President Bush used to live in that state, but that now he lives in the state of denial.

He said the trip had reminded him about the value of education — that quote "if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you can get stuck in Iraq."

Okay, a few points. First, no matter what the lying Republican liars say, this joke has nothing to do with the troops in Iraq. Admittedly, it's not a funny joke and the meaning is somewhat muddled. But Kerry's referring to George Bush, not the troops in harm's way. "If you make the most of things [unlike Bush] and you do your homework [unlike Bush] and you make an effort to be smart [unlike Bush," things will work out. If you don't, you can get stuck in Iraq [like BUSH!]"

Does anyone out there really believe John Kerry thinks our troops are stupid? That they didn't do their homework? The guy's a veteran! So, I wish he had phrased it a bit more clearly, but Kerry's not actually saying anything wrong. If telling bad jokes were a crime, Jackie Martling would be doing 40 to life in Sing Sing by now.

What irks me is that Kerry has now apologized to any members of the military whom he may have offended. Why! WHY! That's just what they want, John! To put you on the defensive, to make it look like you said something wrong because you are fundamentally unserious about the war! This is the case they've been making against the Left for years now, and the only reason such a stupid argument keeps working is that gullible fools such as John Kerry keep falling for the rhetorical trap.

John Kerry says: "George Bush is a dumbass who got our troops bogged down in an unwinnable quagmire."

George Bush says: "On behalf of the troops, I find that deeply offensive."

John Kerry says: "Oh, well, I apologize. Never mind."

WRONG!

John Kerry should say: "I find everything the President does to be deeply offensive, and that's worse than finding my comments offensive because his actions have real-world ramifications. My poorly-worded joke may have hurt someone's feelings inadvertedly. George Bush's poorly-considered policies have led to the deaths of thousands of Americans."

How hard is that? Really, how hard?

Cenk Uygur has it exactly right at HuffPo. Not only should Kerry have turned this non-scandal into an opportunity to criticize the president but he could have used it as a rhetorical trap of his own.

John Kerry's joke about the president -- which was twisted for propaganda purposes by the Republicans -- was an ... opportunity! It was an opportunity for Democrats to bring up every error that Bush and his Republican enablers in Congress have made -- and then demand an apology to the troops for those actions.

Anytime a reporter asked about Kerry's remarks, every Democrat should have started the sentence with the words, "Let me tell you who has to apologize to the troops, these Republicans in the administration and Congress for what they have done..."

Precisely what I'm saying. Republicans come out swinging, making a big issue out of Kerry's joke, and then Democrats turn it around on them and take advantage of the publicity to challenge Republicans on Iraq. Which is their weakest issue going into the elections!

I think the fact that Kerry's statement isn't even a provable falsehood, but a mere gaffe, makes this even easier. If any Democrat is asked about John Kerry's quote, they could just respond that the poor guy misspoke and that we don't go after George Bush every time he butchers a sentence. There are literally thousands of examples of our President mangling his words and thus distorting his overall meaning. But people let it slide bcause they understand that he's an idiot and it's mean-spirited to attack an idiot for their unavoidable idiocy.

John Kerry is not an idiot. He's just not funny. It's a key difference.