Is Joe Scarborough an Idiot?

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer:

It has taken Joe Scarborough six years to finally come to grips with the fact that his President is functionally retarded. Six long (long!) years. I'm glad he's finally come around. It's just too bad for Joe that, even on the rare occasion when he's on the correct side of an issue, he still has to come off as such a clueless asshole blowhard fuckwit.

Let's take a look together (shall we?) at Joe's latest missive, a brief post at Arianna Huffington's place. It's charmingly titled Is Bush an Idiot? So far, I got no complaints.

Once he actually begins writing, however...

The greatest political gift a politician can receive from enemies is the gift of being underestimated.

That and a lavish golf vacation, sure. And a free limo ride "with benefits." And lucrative pharmaceutical contracts for one's significant other. But, yeah, after all those things, the greatest political gift a politician can receive is the gift of being underestimated.

Eisenhower was supposedly a dope who frittered away his time on golf courses.

Was Eisenhower considered a dope? Wasn't he a highly regarded general when he took office? I've heard the "Eisenhower wasted a lot of time playing golf" line, but not the dope line. That doesn't mean it's not true. I wasn't alive back then. How the hell would I know?

Chevy Chase portrayed Gerald Ford as a bumbling, accident-prone commander-in-chief in countless SNL skits.

Gerald Ford fell over a lot. True. That is a true fact. Don't believe me?



He ain't down there searching for explosive liquids!

Obviously when a major public figure has an obvious flaw, like klutziness, comedians are going to mock them for it. Of course Chevy Chase exaggerated Ford's stumbly awkwardness. It's a comedy sketch!

Most egregiously, Joe makes it sound like Chevy Chase made that up out of nowhere. "Hmm...What would be a good way to secretly communicate my radical far-left agenda to the masses? I know, I'll pretend I'm the president and tumble over, then identify for the audience the time, my location and the day of the week!"

I think Joe's trying to demonstrate that Republican presidents have been historically mocked. I don't know what this is supposed to prove. I'd grant that every Republican president ever has been cruelly mocked in the popular culture. Every Democratic president, also. Every public figure, pretty much. So the hell what?

Ronald Reagan was branded a lightweight for years and described as a confused old fool in Tip O’Neill’s autobiography.

I believe it was that great social philosopher Stephen Colbert who said "we all know that facts have a strong liberal bias." Joe's unfortunatley running into that truism repeatedly during his introduction. (Or is it a trutheism?) Ronald Reagan was branded a lightweight because he was (1) a movie star who entered politics based largely on name recognition and personal charisma and (2) suffering from the beginning stages of Alzheimer's Disease during much of his tenure as president.

Though the language is unfortunate, during the majority of that second term, he really was a confused old fool. If Joe's point is that popular conceptions about presidents were largely accurate, he's doing quite well. Actually, maybe that is his point...

For the past six years George W. Bush has been the target of ridicule from liberal circles. But now, instead of laughing at Democrats’ ill-directed arrogance, Republicans are quietly joining the left in questioning the President’s intellectual prowess.

As I often like to do when reading right-wing blather, let me draw your attention to the subtle nuances in Joe's language. Liberals have "targeted" GWB for "ridicule," causing Republicans to "laugh" at their "arrogance." Conservatives, on the other hand, have begun to "quietly" join in the act of "questioning" the president's "intellectual prowess." As always, anything conservatives do is carefully considered and rational, whereas everyone on the left is a raving looney incapable of processing even a straightforward question like "is the President really really dumb?"

Man, Joe Scarborough is a huge asshole. Huge.

The biggest knock on Bush’s brain is his lack of intellectual curiosity. Former administration officials still close to the White House will tell you Mr. Bush detests dissent, embraces a narrow world view and is intellectually incurious.

Worse for this White House is the fact that George W. Bush has daily smackdowns with the English language and the English language usually wins.

All of that is true. But some of us have been saying it for six years! It took Joe six years to actually begin listening to what the president said and considering it from a perspective other than "sycophantic toady." You sense that if GWB were just a little bit smarter - still stupid enough to nearly choke to death on a pretzel, but not quite stupid enough to give the German Chancellor a neck massage during a diplomatic summit - Joe would be fine with it. He can tolerate following in lockstep behind a tyrant of below-average intelligence. But when mere stupidity morphs into drooling witless idiocy, well, that's where he draws the line.

Friends and foes alike agree that George W. Bush is one political figure who gets worse with age. Look back at his performance as Texas governor and you will see a funny, self-assured public figure who inspires confidence. But these days, the mere opening of Mr. Bush’s mouth makes many GOP loyalists shake in their tasseled loafers.

This, likewise, is true. I don't neccessarily think he was a lot smarter back then, but he was certainly more composed, self-assured and poised. For an idea of what Joe's talking about, check out this brief video showing the dramatic change in Bush's demeanor and speaking style over the past 10 years.



The makers of the video feel that the change is due to early-onset senility. I'm not certain that they prove this is any meaningful way. But it's certainly fascinating to see how the guy has come apart over the last six years. I suppose in some ways it's a kind of karmic justice - he wasted the early part of his life, spent his few capable adult years running America into the ground and will have a long, slow, painful descent into elderly batshit insanitude. Not quite as satisfying as seeing him tried in the Hague, but it's probably the best we're going to get.

So does it matter in the end whether our president is articulate and intelligent?

Joe misses the real message by a country mile. This isn't just about being articulate. The guy is stupid. That means, someone is making decisions for him. Who? Don't people have a right to know? People have jokingly called this The Cheney Administration for years. But I sense there's a lot of truth behind that joke. Even though all of his policies have failed, he's clearly incapable of devising any kind of policy whatsoever. You can tell because he can never explain himself with any kind of clarity.

"Mr. President, why did we invade Iraq?"

"Well, you see, I was out decideriderading one day...I mean to say, everyone loves freedom...Mothers want to raise their children...And you gotta be free...And freedom isn't free...So we got to...We're spreading freedom...And that's why they hate us...I looked into my heart...We're building schools...You gotta...Freedom's on the march."

"Mr. President, why do you oppose the use of stem cells in research when they're just going to be destroyed anyway?"

"Well, you see...God's gift of life...They got these snowflake babies...Morals and ethics and little baby Jesus...You gotta protect...There's the sanctity of...Look at little Jenny here...Would you want to, uh, I mean to say, you wouldn't stab her repeatedly in the eye...Really, it's the same issue."

"Mr. President, what did you have for breakfast this morning?"

"Well, you see...I like waffles but I didn't...Didn't have time for...It's hard work to be President...I had to go for a bike ride and...Don't really like scones even though Tony Blair told me they was good...Just wanted a muffin...You know what? I'm not too sure on this one. Let me check with my staff and get back to ya."

That doesn't just mean he's bad at expressing himself. It means the man who's supposed to be in charge doesn't really know what's going on and isn't curious enough to find out. That has to matter to you, Joe. Right?

You bet your life, it does.

Oh, good.

I’m not saying we need to elect a dork like Michael Dukakis, who famously spent vacations at the beach reading books on Swedish land use or was so overwhelmed with the details of the old SALT treaties that he would sulk off to bed depressed.

Shit, Joe. We were all in agreement there for a second, and it was real nice, and then you just had to go and fucking ruin it with this same old anti-intellectual garbage.

What is so wrong with a guy who wants to be president reading fucking books? We're taking about the president here. A little bit of nerdy bookishness can good for someone who's going to have an important and complex job. Cause, interesting thing about people who read a lot of books. They tend to learn about things and get smarter. It's amazing, I know, but somehow it actually works.

Michael Dukakis was actually kind of a dork. I don't really object to the use of that phrase (although it is kind of demeaning, and not the sort of thing Joe would ever say about a Republican dork, like the President's father). It's just this implication that the President must be Joe Cool. Fonzie wouldn't be a good choice for president because he spends all his time worrying about looking cool and thus doesn't have the chance to consider important international and domestic affairs. Joe's a grown man, but he's really still focused on electing Class Presidents and Prom Kings, not actual leadership.

But when America is fighting a global war on terror where the battle is for hearts and minds instead of beachheads and landing strips, we need a leader who can explain to friend and foe alike why America is in Iraq, why we keep sending arms to Israel and why liberal democracy really is preferable to Islamic fascism.

Right now, George W. Bush is not that leader.

Dude, no one is that leader. I mean, I'm glad you're soured on this moron in the White House (finally!), but to think that someone more charismatic is going to be able to sell Iraqis on inter-sect subjugation compounded by American dominance is to live in a fantasy world of make-believe. Joe might as well recommend that we appoint Willy Wonka and Peter Pan as impartial negotiators and hold a peace summit 20,000 leagues under the sea.

This is the sort of stuff that makes me despair for the future of our nation. And our world. These guys are never going to get it. They will just keep recycling the same tired rhetoric for 1,000 years if no one steps up to stop them. It's always 6 more months and one more election. We're always turning a corner and preparing for victory. Our only real concerns are the traitorous American media and hippie peaceniks. It's always time to get tough, let those guys know we really mean business and stop catering to the weak pacifists among us.

Our leader does not need to explain to the Iraqi people why they are being kidnapped, tortured and murdered by Americans more effectively. He needs to stop the war. Right fucking now. Joe, you fucking asshole. It's amazing. Even when he's completely right, he's still completely wrong.