Legendary Comedian Mitch Hedberg, Dead at 37

Too soon, man, too soon. I know Mitch had his problems; run-ins with the law, battles with heroin addiction and so on. But a heart attack in a New Jersey hotel room at 37? That's no way for a genius to go out. It's a sad, sad world.

No less than 3 people called me at work today to tell me the sad news. That's the level of appreciation for Mitch Hedberg among my circle of friends. 3 people didn't call me on September 11th to talk about the day's events, okay? We take comedy pretty seriously.



And Mitch Hedberg wasn't just some ordinary run-of-the-mill comedian. He didn't do jokes about how white people vary from black people, or how his girlfriend always wants him to buy her stuff, or about adorable children and the wacky, unexpected things they say. He attempted something bolder, a revivial of the one-liner concept founded by greats like Henny Youngman and refined by masters like Stephen Wright.

It was Wright with whom Mitch was most often compared, but they weren't really that similar. Wright was kind of a world-weary intellectual, a man attempting to find logic in the world by focusing on the illogical and working backwards. Mitch was more like a wildly ingenious version of Spicoli, a guy with a million bright ideas who was so stoned, he could only get one or two out per hour.

Here are some of my favorite Mitch Hedberg jokes:

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."

A friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, "No, but in an hour, I'll want a regular banana. So, yeah."

The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're fucking relentless.

I bought a doughnut the other day and the guy behind the counter asked if I wanted a receipt. I said, "Let us not bring ink and paper into this. I give you the money, you give me the doughnut, end of transaction." The only reason I would need a receipt is if I had some skeptical friend who did not believe I had paid for the doughnut. "Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut! I've got the documentation right here. It's in my file at home. Under D. For Doughnut."

Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

Okay, so that last one is kind of bittersweet now that he's dead of a heart attack at age 37. But I'm hoping the world will remember Mitch for the incredible humor he created, rather than the tragic circumstances surrounding his death.

Today at the video store, every person over 30 who heard about this news couldn't help but reflect on their own lives. "Man, I'm almost that age...I haven't done anything with my life!" And that's fine. I'm an introspective person myself. I guess we can't help but relate tragedies like this to our own lives.

But I wanted to talk about the genius of Mitch Hedberg, a guy who was certainly one of my favorite working comedians (if not my absolute favorite). He'd compete right now with David Cross, George Carlin, Chris Rock and maybe Patton Oswalt for the title. Other than Carlin, he's the most original voice on that list. I mean, come on, Carlin practically invented modern stand-up...It's still high praise, dammit.

I saw Hedberg perform three times. The best was the first, at the Largo in West Hollywood. At that time, I was in college and Mitch was already a local comedy legend. I'd learned of him through his breakthrough "Comedy Central Presents" half-hour, and soon he'd gain greater attention on the late-night shows of David Letterman and Conan O'Brien. He was such a terrific, gracious performer, always self-effacing and ceaselessly interesting.

By the end of the night, he'd long since run through any new material, and reverted to some of his classic routines. The entire crowd said the punchlines along with him - we'd all memorized the Comedy Central show and any recordings we could get our hands on. Rather than get upset, he started to take requests. After the show, I went up to him to shake his hand, but he insisted that he had gross crud from the microphone on him and just said hello instead.

Hedberg appeared briefly in Cameron Crowe's Almost Famous (as the Eagles tour manager!). According to IMDB, he wrote, directed and starred in the 1999 film Los Enchiladas, though I can't say for certain as I've never seen any evidence that this film really exists. My friend Elena (one of my three callers at work today) and I have searched for it since '99 with no success.

So, this has become something of a long, rambling, maudlin post. I'll wrap it up now. Just wanted to note the passing of this hilarious guy. How depressing - we've already lost both Mitch and Hunter Thompson in the early days of 2005. Oh yeah, and that Johnny Cochran guy, too, who I didn't much care for. And maybe The Pope.