Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Nia Vardalos is actually unbearable

This is, in fact, the worst thing I've ever read:


Could she get any more self-serving and obnoxious? I actually don't believe any studio executive said "women don't go to movies" to her, at least not sincerely. And if they did, it was likely just to spare her feelings and avoid saying, "This script is the worst piece of shit I've ever read and you are to cinema what Sean Hannity is to astute political commentary."

I also don't believe her latest bit of claptrap, "My Life in Ruins," is "the highest testing movie in Fox Searchlight history." Other Fox Searchlight releases include:

"The Full Monty"
"The Ice Storm"
"Boys Don't Cry"
"Super Troopers"
"Waking Life"
"Kissing Jessica Stein"
"Bend it Like Beckham"
"28 Days Later"
"Napoleon Dynamite"
"Garden State" (shudder...)
"Thank You For Smoking"
A little film no one saw or enjoyed called "Little Miss Sunshine"
"Notes on a Scandal"
"The Wrestler"
Something called "Slumdog Millionaire" I guess a few people were okay with

We're supposed to believe test audiences preferred some sitcom-level pabulum about a nitwit leading other nitwits around on a tour of Greece while bitching about how no man can tolerate her constant, shrill whining to several of the decade's most beloved and celebrated films? Where were they screening this thing, Nia Vardalos' parents' basement? I want to see some numbers!

But beyond the fact that I think she's lying, the author of this piece CLEARLY believes that she has a God-given right to have her vanity vehicles distributed by a major studio. Lady, you're talentless. The fact that it happened for you once is AMAZING. Just embrace it. Life doesn't owe you shit, and studio executives owe you even less. You want a big payday and a distribution deal? Write just one thing that doesn't make me want to claw my own eyes out and then use them to plug up my ears.

Posted via email from LonHarris.com

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