Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year!

Let's start 2008 with a chuckle. Here, compliments of the inimitable Prof. Myers, is an ACTUAL FOR-SERIOUS letter to the editor of the Salt Lake Tribune. I give you a look inside the twisted mind of one Vera B. Ivie:

In his Dec. 27 letter, Steven Fehr says he believes President Bush is the worst president he has seen. Whenever I hear someone complain about the president, I ask them, “Do you pray for the president of the United States daily?” Is that too much trouble?

She poses this question as if it's obvious. "Oh, no wonder Bush starts illegal wars, tortures innocent people and spies on his own citizenry, then craps all over the Constitution trying to cover it up! We haven't been praying for him every single day! Man, is my face red..."

And I mean...every day? Do we really want to nag the Lord in this way? Imagine if someone asked you to do something and then pestered you about it every day.

"Hey, God, it's me, Lon, again. Look, I hate to be a bother, but you remember how I asked you to bless our millionaire cokehead president? Could you actually get around to doing that? Like, some time soon? I mean, I know you've got a lot on your plate but it's, like, totally super-important that we get this thing squared away. I really appreciate it, Big Guy. Thanks a billion. I'll call you tomorrow to make sure it's done. No, it's no problem. Thanks again. I owe you one."

It's like, he's God. He knows what you're going to ask for before you even ask for it. Once a week ought to be enough.

There used to be a custom of praying for our president.

You know, there used to be a custom of living in caves, dressing in animal skins and doodling on cave walls to pass the hours between sabretooth tiger attacks. It's called progress.

>Perhaps too many people in the United States believe this would be mixing politics and religion.

Yes, I fail to see how engaging in a religious practice on behalf of a politician mixes religion and politics.

If the majority of the people are agnostic and atheistic, it may be that they are partly to blame for the problems we have.

I think, clearly, the majority of the people are not agnostic or atheist...sigh...atheistic. The majority of people still believe in angels and Heaven, last I heard. But you've still got to appreciate how Vera needlessly hedges her bets here. She's saying something irretrievably stupid, but leaves herself rhetorical "outs" anyway in case anyone calls her on her bullshit. the majority of the people are agnostic and atheistic, it may be that they are partly to blame for the problems we have. Why not just out and say it? Shun the non-believers! Shuuuuuuunnnnnn.

To think one man is responsible for the war and the problems we face in our nation is about as foolish as to not believe in the power of prayer.

Where to begin with this one? I mean, what a strawman. No one's suggesting Bush and Bush alone is responsible for the war and the problems we face. It's Bush, Dick Cheney and their cadre of fanatics, of course. I mean, has anyone suggested that Bill Kristol, David Frum, Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice and Donald Rumsfeld and a whole cast of unsavory characters don't share some of the blame here?

Then Vera blathers on for a while meaninglessly. The point is, Atheists is the Devil. Go Bush FTW!

It's gonna be a good year, I can just feel it.

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