The Reddest Eyes You've Ever Seen...In Seattle...

And the pills the greenest green...In Seattle...

Check out Paula Abdul, appearing on a local Seattle affiliate to promote "American Idol," and thoroughly wasted off her ass. I'm no expert, but I'd guesstimate she's about 300 sheets to the wind.



It's pretty much totally awesome that the first generation of reality TV hosts are starting to self-destruct. Abdul's become the most ludicrous public drunk since Henry Earl. Donald Trump is currently losing a public war of wars to Rosie O'Donnell and Barbara Walters! P. Diddy's last album went over like Bush's Iraq speech. And Tyra Banks now weighs a good deuce, deuce and a half. (Not bad!)



You know what this means...It will only be a few more years until the first generation of reality TV stars begins to self-destruct, and that's going to be one hell of a good time. (Well, okay, except for Omarosa and Janice Dickenson. They're starting out at such an admirable level of crazy, there aren't many depths left to plunge.)