Saturday, December 16, 2006

Ernest Goes to Jail

Shocking news tonight as a former member of the jam rock supergroup Phish has been charged with possession of illegal substances. No word yet on whether the arresting officer was a makisupa policeman, looking merely to pinch a little something off of Trey's formidable stash. We'll keep you updated as more details come in.

Trey Anastasio was accused of driving under the influence of drugs in an upstate New York town near the Vermont border early Friday.

Oh, Trey, Trey...First you start writing all kinds of maudlin weepy ballads (what my friend would term "vagina music"), then you leave Phish to start doing lame Gordon Sumner-esque adult-contempo solo tours and now this...What happened to you, man? You used to be cool?

The biggest shock of all in this is that Trey's real first name is Ernest. Ernest Anastasio.

The former Phish frontman was pulled over by an officer who saw his car failing to keep to right side of the road at about 3:30 a.m., Whitehall village police said.

A search turned up quantities of the painkillers hydrocodone and Percocet, as well as the anti-anxiety drug Xanax, that had been prescribed for someone else, police said.

Percocet and Xanax? What, is Trey entangled in a loveless marriage in mid '70s Cleveland? That might be the lamest combination of drugs any rock star has been caught with, ever. Even Nicole Ritchie had a little weed in her system, and she's goddamn 70 pounds.

Anastasio, who was driving with a suspended New York license, was charged with third-degree aggravated unlicensed operation, seventh-degree criminal possession of a controlled substance and driving while intoxicated-drugs, police said.

Trey's got to have some money, right? He's 42 years old. He can't get his driver's license sorted out or, failing that, just hire a car service or something? Phish was, for several years, among the highest-grossing touring acts in America. Several hundred thousand people showed up to see them play on an Indian Reservation one year. Jay-Z took the stage with them in Brooklyn! And this guy's driving himself around the Vermont border with a suspended driver's license?

Anyway, here's the saddest photo I've seen all day.

Very True Hollywood Story. So that's the AFTER photo. For the BEFORE, here's Trey back in better days, covering The Beatles' "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" with his old band.

No comments: