Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The Top Ten Things You May Not Have Known About Rush Limbaugh

10. Legally changed his name to Rush Limbaugh because his birth name, Herschel Goldfarb, was difficult for radio listeners to remember

9. Perfected his smooth, clear disc jockey voice by hosting audiences for years at Disneyland's Submarine Voyage attraction

8. Isn't normally attracted to men, but can't take his eyes off of American Idol super-hunk Ace Young

7. Was briefly considered for the lead role in the upcoming live-action adaptation of "Charlotte's Web" before they decided to just go with CG animation

6. Loves Sean Hannity, still unsure about the enticing yet unknowable enigma that is Alan Colmes

5. Hired an assassin to kill Al Franken, but the guy wound up turning good after losing his memory

4. Addicted to not just OxyContin, but also Red Bull, 80's softcore videos, Hershey's Miniatures and miniature golf

3. Secretly voted for Al Gore and Hugo Chavez

2. Isn't worried about bird flu despite his dramatic resemblance to Batman villain The Penguin

1. Technically, isn't personally related to Satan at all, though they keep in near-constant e-mail contact

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