On Demand

We just had Comcast install a new cable box. It includes a DVR, allowing us to record up to 60 hours of programming, and On Demand, on which we can watch MTV's "The Real World" or "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" or even "Deadwood" whenever we want.

I mean, it's kind of incredible. For a negligable amount of extra money a month (less than $3 per roommate), Comcast has made us this generous offer. I keep fearing there must be some hidden media conglomerate agenda behind this move. Like, now that we have their new cable box in our home they can secretly monitor our activities or drain our bodies of vital fluids while we sleep or something. As if, somewhere, deep below the surface of the Earth in Burbank or Torrance or wherever Comcast's signal comes from, Harry Caul is listening to me talk to my roommates about this week's "Apprentice." It's almost too horrifying to imagine.

I'm coming late in the game to the "watch whatever you want whenever" club. My friends John and Brian have had Replay TV long enough to become totally jaded. Realizing that we still have to depend on schedules in order to watch television shows, they looked at us with the level of disdain you'd reserve for someone who had never heard of television. "They gots radios with pictures in 'em? Sha-zam!"

And then there's my friend Jeff. He has some sort of TIVO disorder, causing him to overutilize the feature tragically. You can't ever get through an entire program when watching stuff at his place, because he always wants to rewind to catch every last detail. Okay, usually it's to oogle cheerleaders shown during all-too-brief panning shots at football games. But he'll even rewind an episode of "Seinfeld" if he missed a crucial punchline. It's too much, like watching television through a wormhole or Donnie Darko's portal. Or maybe I'm just a Luddite.

So, I'm going to go watch some more television right now. I'm recording an episode of "The Apprentice," and I think I'll go start it from the beginning. Cause I can do that now.