"Where the Wild Things" Poster..Stunning...
via slashfilm.com
Love it. I know it has been a troubled production, but this just looks beautiful. Can't wait. Don't let me down, Spike!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Natasha Richardson suffers head injury
On March 16, 2009, Richardson was hurt in a ski accident while vacationing in Mont Tremblant, Canada, near Montreal. She suffered what is being called a "traumatic brain injury" and was rushed to the city's Centre Hospitalier Laurentien.
via mahalo.com
http://www.mahalo.com/Natasha_Richardson
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/16/natasha-richardson-ski-ac_n_175573.html
Glenn Beck is a character being played by Paul Giamatti in the greatest prank movie ever mounted, right?
via youtube.com
I'm not sure how many of you caught Glenn Beck's Fox News special on Friday night, "You Are Not Alone." I certainly didn't. I caught up with clips from it over the weekend, and needed some time to PROCESS what I had seen.
When you first see this clip, you can't help but be distracted by the fact that Beck is a bad actor and an utter fraud. He's not feeling the emotions he play-acts here, and he's not even doing a halfway-decent job of feigning them. I seriously think I could do a better job of pretending to be worked up over my love for America. (Maybe I'll try it on This Week in YouTube...hmm...) That's somehow even more insulting.
It's only after seeing it a few times that I realized how CREEPY the whole thing is, and how unsettling it makes life in modern-day America that this vapid blubbering actually RESONATES with some of my fellow citizens.
Yes, I watched it a few times. I've found Beck a loathsome little man for a while now, but I found this clip particularly disturbing. It's like watching an image beamed down from an alien planet, or some wretched dystopian future. If you were making an Orwellian satire of this moment in history, you could not render our media in a more over-the-top fashion. This is it. Beck here makes the propaganda guy from "V for Vendetta" look like Edward R. freaking Murrow.
At one point, Beck pretends (badly) to have the spontaneously realization that he sounds like a televangelist. It's an odd moment, because that's obviously the sort of pose he's trying to adopt (though most televangelists go about it in a more natural, charismatic fashion). You're wondering why someone who even pretends to have informed opinions about world events would want to invite comparison to charlatans like Benny Hinn, who yell at strangers and hit them with sport coats for a living. I guess that's what passes for austere sagacity in Beck's mind. Frightening.
It's March Madness at Mahalo! Courtesy of @AmazingAngie!
We've prepared a metric crap-ton of Mahalo pages on this year's NCAA Tournament. Seriously, Angie and our Sports and News teams have really outdone themselves. I can't think of a better way to follow all the action than hanging out in the locker room. And as an added benefit, Mahalo doesn't smell funky and contains significantly less full frontal nudity. Unless that's your thing. http://www.mahalo.com/NCAA_Men%27s_Basketball_Tournament_2009
http://www.mahalo.com/March_Madness_2009
http://www.mahalo.com/NCAA_Bracket_Predictions
http://www.mahalo.com/Print_NCAA_Bracket
Sunday, March 15, 2009
R.I.P. Ron Silver
via mahalo.com
Say what you will about the guy's politics, but Ron Silver was a great actor. Love him as Dershowitz in "Reversal of Fortune" and as the villain in the "Heat Vision and Jack" pilot. Trailers for both on the Mahalo page.
Let Us Now Praise Infamous Men
Claiming O.J. Simpson was dealt an injustice, an effort is under way to solicit money for the former football star's appeal of his Nevada conviction and prison sentence on kidnapping and armed robbery charges.
Barrett Prody, the brother of Simpson's former girlfriend, created a nonprofit corporation and an Internet Web site, the Society Against Legal Injustice Inc., to raise money for Simpson.
via foxnews.com
This guy wants us to give money because OJ was dealt an injustice...The mind boggles...
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Detroit Schools Left to Fester
via viceland.com
This Viceland photo essay is really disturbing. Abandoned Detroit schools left to decompose for decades...Feels like a chilling glimpse of things to come, in some strange way.
http://www.viceland.com/int/v16n2/htdocs/schools-out-forever.php
If there's one thing that always amuses me, it's writing that is both sloppy and pedantic at the same time.
If you surf the Internet, you've seen the ads for IQ tests which claim: Barack Obama's IQ is (the numbers vary from 135-171); Joe Biden's is 150; Hillary Clinton's is 155 and so on. Naturally, Republicans are rated much lower and a fake article on the presidents' IQ once claimed that George Bush's IQ was the lowest of all. The ad goes on to ask-Are you smarter than...? Well, I am and I can prove it unlike all these so-called claims of how smart our newly elected president is.
This whole article is glorious. See, because Alicia Colon's thesis is: "I am smarter than Barack Obama." And in the course of "proving" this thesis, she makes a metric ton of logical and grammatical errors.
Care for another example?
"Many of my alleged intelligent friends told me that it was that memoir, Dreams from My Father that convinced them of how bright Obama is."
Alleged friends? She heard a rumor that these people were here friends, yet she's uncertain whether or not the friendship genuinely exists?
Okay, okay, one more...
"Besides how can you conclude that the planet is undergoing rapid climate change when we've only been documenting those records for a few hundred years? The planet was warmer before there were human beings on it."
The planet...was warming...before there were human beings on it...Oh yeah, this person's smarter than the first black president, a graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law School (and a former Constitutional Law professor AND the first black president of the Harvard Law Review).
But is he in Mensa? Case CLOSED.
Streamy Award Nominees Announced. Congrats to @zadi, @feliciaday, @tayzonday, @alexalbrecht, @garyvee and anyone else I missed!
Lots of great shows among the nominees. On one hand, it's a bit disappointing, conceptually, that SO MANY nominees for web television are stars from...regular television. And movies. Felicia Day aside, shouldn't web shows have their own stars? Otherwise, isn't it just TV that didn't quite make it on to television, as opposed to some new kind of format? But on the other hand, I can't deny that Paul Rudd was hilarious on "Wainy Days," NPH was great in "Dr. Horrible" and though I haven't seen "Gemini Whatever," I'm sure Rosario Dawson was considerably fetching. So I guess the panel behind these selections did the right thing - nominate the best stuff they saw without any kind of outside considerations.
Background and major nominees here: http://www.mahalo.com/Streamy_Awards
Full list of nominees here: http://www.streamys.org/nominees.shtml
Cursive on Letterman
via youtube.com
Saw these guys years ago, at the Fonda I believe. It can be a BIT much at times, but many of their individual songs are great. I didn't even know they had a new album.
(Found by http://twitter.com/bryanbrinkman on Twitter)
Friday, March 13, 2009
Resident Evil 5 Walkthrough - Mahalo
via mahalo.com
Mahalo walkthroughs are always super-helpful. I've been relying heavily on the "Fallout 3" guidelines for days now.
Our latest is about the new "Resident Evil 5" game. I'm going to try to pick this up some time this week, if I can't borrow the Mahalo copy before then...
CloFu is Clooney-Flavored Tofu
The George Clooney-flavoured tofu - or CloFu - would be available to all his fans.
PETA wrote to the 47-year-old actor to explain the idea.
Advertisement
“The technology actually exists to take your perspiration and make it into George Clooney-flavoured tofu (CloFu)," they said in a letter.
via thesun.co.uk
To quote Doug Benson: "T...to the A...to the S-T-E-Y!"
Miss May 2009 Crystal McCahill Arrested
via mahalo.com
She's also been on "Girls Next Door." Plus, a little trivia, she's the daughter of former Playmate Gale Olson! Way more details on the Mahalo page:
Woz, Vanilla Ice, Shira Lazar and Me on TWIYT #36
via youtube.com
36 episodes...amazing. Shira's doing an amazing job, and the special guest in today's episode was all her. That is how you produce!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Meghan McCain on the economy
via youtube.com
If she really doesn't understand economic issues, how come she's on TV every day talking about them? Just gracefully decline the opportunity to be interviewed about the economy, if you genuinely don't think you have any kind of grasp on the topic to be discussed, dear. It's not that hard. This is why you rarely see me popping up on the Style network.
Two Girls Kissing is Totally Sketch
via youtube.com
Michael Gallagher may be one of the great geniuses of the YouTube Era. His web show's first video? Interactive Sex. #2? Girls making out. That's called "knowing your audience," folks.
Elmo and Ricky Gervais Break the Fourth Wall
via mahalo.com
Does Gervais actually start discussing the Holocaust with Elmo? It's hilariously traumatizing!
http://www.mahalo.com/Ricky_Gervais
http://www.mahalo.com/Elmo
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
On the Carpet with Gary Busey and Larry the Basic Cable Guy
via youtube.com
Here's some footage of me talking to the, um, celebs at the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy. In all seriousness, Doug Benson is a really nice dude and HI-LARIOUS. And Gary Busey is crazier than even this video makes him look.
Frank Miller's Charlie Brown
via cinematical.com
The Adventures of That Yellow-Shirted Such-and-Such. This is extremely well-done.
Perez Hilton: Coming Soon: Plinko Academy
Jada Plinko Smith's controversial school in Calabasas, the New Village Leadership Academy, is thriving!
The actress turned musician turned producer opened the doors to the experimental
ScientologyAcademy last fall after more and more parents requested for their kids to join the home-schooling program Pinkett Smith had started for her two children!"More and more parents were like, 'Can we come?' Then my house started to fill up. We had like 20 kids and I said, 'We might as well start a school,"' Jada said on the conception of the Academy.
via perezhilton.com
I think that's how Harvard was founded too, right? "Hey, we might as well start a school!"
Based on this article, I can only assume that the Smiths are teaching kids how to discover who they were in past lives or travel to the Omega Quadrant or something. There's no way this is a real school for the learning of actual things. You'd be better off sending your kids to the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good.
Yale student sues airline for $1M over lost Xbox
A Yale University student from Ohio has filed a lawsuit seeking $1 million from US Airways for a video game console he says was taken from his luggage.Twenty-one-year-old Jesse Maiman alleges that during a flight from New Haven, Conn., to Cincinnati in December, his Xbox 360 with a specialized hard drive disappeared from his luggage.
Still not sure who to blame in $10 million suits over lack of girlfriend and Cheeto stains on shirt, pants.
Online Video Demotivational Posters
via eguiders.com
Well played. They couldn't come up for anything for "Montgomery Flea Market," though? That's one of the all-time greats.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Fantastic Four Reboot Rumor
They are saying that “word around town” is that 20th Century Fox is looking to reboot the Fantastic Four franchise. The reboot would be a eying a tone that is “less bubble gum” and more along the lines of what Iron Man was, with enough edge to keep fans interested and enough mainstream appeal to find big box office success. And it makes sense, seeing as the two Tim Story directed movies were decidedly goofy, earning mixed reactions from die-hards and casual moviegoers alike.
Yes, please. Not sure it has to go TOO serious, but I'd like to see an FF movie that at least gets Dr. Doom right. One of the all-time great comic book villains...I wasn't really feeling the dude from Nip/Tuck in this part...
We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Radioactive Penises
via manolith.com
Did Juan from Manolith just confirm my theory?
And I quote: "I don't want to sound judgmental here, but if you see "The Watchmen" and feel the need to giggle at the sight of Dr. Manhattan's penis, or comment on how you did not appreciate seeing it later, you kind of need to grow up."
Imagine No Religion
A wide-ranging study on American religious life found that the Roman Catholic population has been shifting out o of the Northeast to the Southwest, the percentage of Christians in the nation has declined and more people say they have no religion at all.
Fifteen percent of respondents said they had no religion, an increase from 14.2 percent in 2001 and 8.2 percent in 1990, according to the American Religious Identification Survey.
I guess this part was always more likely than that whole "no possessions" part. I mean...John...it's a catchy tune and all...but come on...
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Hampton Comes Alive
This is so sweet. Live Phish has put all 3 of the new Phish Hampton reunion concerts online for FREE! I am downloading Night 2 right now. Setlist includes Split Open and Melt, Punch You in the Eye, Gumbo, Reba, It's Ice (from my all-time fav Phish studio album, "Rift"), Guelah Papyrus, Lawn Boy, Run Like a goddamn Antelope, Birds of a Feather, Wolfman's Brother, MIke's Song, Character Zero and Day in the Life. EPIC.
Quick Maturity Check
I don't want to sound judgmental here, but if you see "The Watchmen" and feel the need to giggle at the sight of Dr. Manhattan's penis, or comment on how you did not appreciate seeing it later, you kind of need to grow up. I mean, it's an animated penis. It has a place in the story and a reason to be there. It draws attention to two things:
(1) Dr. Manhattan is god-like, but he's still a real man with a real connection to the human race. His body is not entirely vestigial.
(2) Superheroes are frequently depicted as larger-than-life in comics, whereas "Watchmen" ponders what they would be like if they were, in fact, real people. Seeing Dr. Manhattan's genitals draw us back into this idea, reminding us that his heroics and supernatural abilities are nevertheless seated in a being that is tangible and recognizably human.
We won't think you're gay just because you looked at a cartoon penis in a film. Grow the F up.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Gingrich Floats Possibility of 2012 Presidential Run
Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich said Thursday he'd seriously consider running for president in 2012.
With the mantle of the Republican Party still unclaimed, Gingrich told reporters in Ashland, Va., before a speech to Randolph-Macon College that he and his family would examine the political environment in early 2011, and "look seriously at whether or not we think it's necessary to do it."
via foxnews.com
Oh, I hope he's serious! I predict this will go very well. For Jon Stewart and Bill Maher.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Seinfeld cast reuniting on Curb Your Enthusiasm!
via tvsquad.com
EW reports that the cast members of the Seinfeld NBC television series will be reuniting for a multi-episode arc on Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO. That sounds gold, Jerry...Gold!
Famous Sketches Retold by Popular Directors
via cinematical.com
The Wes Anderson one is the best. He's so easy to parody...
The Limits of Control
via apple.com
New trailer for Jim Jarmusch's latest, "The Limits of Control." Looks really good. Sort of like Antonioni's "The Passenger" meets "Ghost Dog."
http://www.apple.com/trailers/focus_features/thelimitsofcontrol/
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Robin Williams Hospitalized for Heart Issues
via mahalo.com
Williams was checked into a Miami hospital suffering from unspecified heart issues today. He had already canceled four shows in his "Weapons of Mass Destruction" tour. Hope he's alright.
Background and Info: http://www.mahalo.com/Robin_Williams
Excessive Ping Pong Celebration Fail
via youtube.com
This guy is actually the hardcore champion of life. Don't hate.
The "Public Enemies" Trailer! Depp as Dillinger! Mann! Bale! Clothed Dr. Manhattan!
via cinematical.com
The first trailer for Michael Mann's new film looks SWEET. Very "Untouchables." I'm looking forward to it.
New Dylan album coming in April?
Bob Dylan will release a new studio album in late April, Rolling Stone reports. The magazine quotes an anonymous insider who says the 10-song set's arrival "came as a surprise" to those around the folk-rock legend. The currently untitled album reportedly centers on "raw-country love songs, sly wordplay and the wounded state of the nation."
New Dylan album full of "raw-country love songs" and "sly wordplay"? I'm in.
Mahalo's NHL Trade Deadline Live Coverage
Not really my sport. I'm more a badminton guy. But I'm very proud of the work the Sports Team has done with our NHL Trading coverage. Check it out.
But what if I want the question mark shirt?
DesignByHumans has a bunch of cool shirts, and they will send you one at random in exchange for $10. (Well, you can tell them your gender and size. You know what I mean.) Chances of getting a cool, or at least wearable, design are strongly in your favor.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
He's The Best There is at What He Does
via i.gizmodo.com
Unfortunately, what he does is convince children to blow into his conveniently-placed air hole.
Seriously, just not appropriate...Gives the term "Fast Ball Special" a whole new and unpleasant meaning.
Chester Arthur Stiles Found Guilty
via mahalo.com
Convicted on 22 counts for molesting two young girls. What a sicko.
A Completely Unscientific (Yet Accurate) Look at Social Sites
via brainz.org
It's pretty accurate...I'm constantly being added and then unfollowed because I no longer auto-follow back. And I've spoken out about the constant lunch-themed "nom nom nom" tweets. Weak...
Google Image Search results should be proofed before you air them on TV
Krispy Kreme ARE very delicious...but maybe not that delicious. A little decorum, please...
Spinal Tap: New tour, less hair! | PopWatch Blog | EW.com
Spinal Tap announced at a press conference yesterday that they will be going on tour later this spring –- but not as Spinal Tap. Confused? Let me explain. The core Tap trio of actor-comedians, Christopher Guest (aka "Nigel Tufnell"), Michael McKean ("David St. Hubbins"), and Harry Shearer ("Derek Smalls"), are hitting the road for a 30-date "Unwigged & Unplugged" tour, which starts on April 17 in Vancouver, B.C., and ends in Milwaukee on May 31. And they will be playing songs from both 1984's This Is Spinal Tap and 2003’s A Mighty Wind, in which the three played aging folkies The Folksmen. BUT they will be leaving their Tap outfits –- and, in Shearer’s case, the foil-wrapped vegetables -– behind and perform as themselves. The Tap are also set to release a new CD on May 25. I can’t confirm at the moment as to whether they will try to “milk it for a few more years in Europe.”
via popwatch.ew.com
Not sure I totally get this...They're going on tour playing Spinal Tap songs, but as Michael McKean, Harry Shearer and Christopher Guest? I'm not saying it won't be pretty awesome, but why do it this way? It obviously won't be as much fun as seeing them as Spinal Tap. I don't know...sort of smacks of self-importance.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Thoughts on the Oscars
As for the show...kind of a meh year. And not just because it was a pretty lousy year for movies. The whole event just felt sort of lazy this year, like they're not even trying to make it entertaining. I'm fine with not having a comic host it, and dispensing with the hackneyed Bruce Vilanch-style "one liners" between all the awards...but I'm not sure the solution is to replace it with cheeseball musical numbers either.
In particular, the Jackman/Beyonce/Mamma Mia thing was just weird and sloppy. They didn't sing more than three words from any one particular song...they were skipping around so much, I had a hard time even figuring out what was even going on. Also, why have Queen Latifah singing over the dead person montage? Just seems disrespectful...If you're going to take time out from the show to remember the deceased, at least do it with some class. Silence or light music, I should think (and ask the audience to please save their applause for the end!)
Also, whose idea was it to have previous winners in the acting categories come out on stage and address this year's nominees directly. It was SO PAINFULLY AWKWARD. The poor nominees didn't seem to know that was going to happen, and weren't quite sure how to react. As if it wasn't self-indulgent enough already for actors to hand golden awards to one another once a year...Hey, I know, let's have other actors who've won the same award get up on stage and talk about how GREAT it is, musing ceaselessly about the COURAGE and WISDOM of themselves and their colleagues. They should just have James Lipton host and give out all the awards next year and be done with it.
A few memorable moments...I thought Ben Stiller's bit as Joaquin Phoenix was pretty amusing, Kate Winslet and Sean Penn gave pretty good acceptance speeches and it was all over quick.
As for the winners themselves...you obviously had to give Supporting Actor to Ledger, and Slumdog seemed destined to win the evening, so there was a whiff of inevitability to some of the choices. Man on Wire was a deserving win in the Documentary category, though Encounters at the End of the World puts up a strong fight. (It's available streaming on Netflix, I believe, and is otherwise on DVD...check it out...)
I'd have liked to see more The Wrestler love. Though I enjoyed Milk, it really felt like Rourke's year to me. Penn was great, but Rourke's performance is that whole movie, and I'm pretty sure that's my favorite movie of 2008. And I'd have picked Anne Hathaway and Rachel Getting Married over Winslet and The Reader, but if that film was going to come away with ANYTHING, that would be the award.
I'd have replaced 3 of the 5 Best Picture nominees, actually. Swap in Dark Knight, WALL-E and The Wrestler for Frost/Nixon, The Reader and Benjamin Button. Or, for that matter, Vicky Christina Barcelona, Rachel Getting Married and Doubt. Or Encounters at the End of the World, Man on Wire and The Edge of Heaven. The point is, those three feel like fillers. The Reader was not good at all, Frost/Nixon was professional and slickly produced but ultimately not very interesting (and downright poor as history) and Benjamin Button was technically brilliant but dramatically adrift.
Slumdog Millionaire, on the other hand, isn't really a typical Best Picture winner, which I suppose is why it feels right in this year when ideas about change and diversity were dominating the conversation. Out of all the nominated films, it's the rousing crowd-pleaser...those kinds of movies are ALWAYS most popular during dark times. Plus, it's massively entertaining; the entire film has an energy that few filmmakers can manage to capture for more than a sequence at a time.
Consider all the other options. A Holocaust picture. An ambiguous, emotionally distant gothic fantasy. A biopic about intolerance and harsh social divisions, culminating in a political assassination. And a period drama about a corrupt presidential administration.
Those are things people have been trying to forget, not celebrate. What you're left with is a gritty but ultimately uplifting and redemptive romance that soothes us with the comforting thought that things are FATED to work out okay in the end. It's not hard to see why that was an attractive choice for Best Picture. Plus, the only nominated film that was actually BETTER was Milk.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Given My Track Record, Expect a "Reader" Clean Sweep
It seems like whenever there's one movie nominated for an Oscar that I truly disliked, that STANDS OUT to me as one of the year's biggest disappointments of most memorable turkeys, that's the movie that wins.
I thought for sure "Brokeback" had the Oscar all sewn up that year, and then what comes along and topples it? "Crash," the most embarrassing Best Picture winner in decades. Seriously, does anyone continue to watch or discuss that nonsense? It's reign of influence and importance was over before the afterparties disbanded.
So bearing that in mind, I'd bet the farm on "The Reader," because I was at least tolerant of all the other nominees.
I'll be liveblogging the event over at Mahalo.com. Here are some of the pages we've been prepping:
- Oscar Winners 2009
- Oscar Live Coverage
- Oscar Nominations 2009
- Best Picture Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Actor Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Actress Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Supporting Actor Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Director Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Original Screenplay Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Foreign Film Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Cinematography Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Costume Design Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Documentary Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Makeup Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Score Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Song Oscar Winner 2009
- Best Sound Editing Oscar Winner 2009
- Oscar Dresses 2009
- Oscar Performances 2009
- Slumdog Millionaire Oscar Performaces
- MIA Oscar Performances
- Wall-E Oscar Performance
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sonic BOOM!
"Street Fighter 4" comes out tomorrow, and we here at Mahalo are EXCITED in a way that's somewhat inappropriate for people who aren't in middle school. Here are JUST A SAMPLE of the different places on our website where you can catch up on all the hot, steamy Yoga Flame-oriented action:
- Street Fighter 4 Abel
- Street Fighter 4
- Street Fighter 4 Achievements
- Street Fighter 4 Akuma
- Street Fighter 4 Alternate Costumes
- Street Fighter 4 Balrog
- Street Fighter 4 Blanka
- Street Fighter 4 C Viper
- Street Fighter 4 Cammy
- Street Fighter 4 Characters
- Street Fighter 4 Chun-Li
- Street Fighter 4 DLC
- Street Fighter 4 Dan
- Street Fighter 4 Dhalsim
- Street Fighter 4 E Honda
- Street Fighter 4 El Fuerte
- Street Fighter 4 Fei Long
- Street Fighter 4 Gameplay Video
- Street Fighter 4 Gen
- Street Fighter 4 Gouken
- Street Fighter 4 Guile
- Street Fighter 4 Joystick
- Street Fighter 4 Ken
- Street Fighter 4 M Bison
- Street Fighter 4 Moves List
- Street Fighter 4 Release Date
- Street Fighter 4 Review
- Street Fighter 4 Rose
- Street Fighter 4 Rufus
- Street Fighter 4 Ryu
- Street Fighter 4 Sagat
- Street Fighter 4 Sakura
- Street Fighter 4 Screenshots
- Street Fighter 4 Seth
- Street Fighter 4 Trailer
- Street Fighter 4 Training Manual
- Street Fighter 4 Vega
- Street Fighter 4 Zangief
She does this for attention...
It's official. Ann Coulter will say anything for attention. She will defend white supremacist groups if it means people will "get outraged" at her and "put her on TV" so she can "hawk her pointless, angry diatribes" to "morons."
Yes, I am aware of the irony of writing about her in order to condemn paying attention to her. But it needs to be said. People need to stop getting upset with her for saying these things, because she most likely does not mean them. They are not designed to engage debate, and therefore should not be engaged in a debate.
Ideally, Coulter would become the pundit's answer to what Carrot Top or Carlos Mencia are to comedy. A figure that exists only to be held up for ridicule, as an example of the most odious form of the profession. "Now you sound like Ann Coulter!" is already 99% of the way to being a clear and aggressive insult. I'm just saying we need to push it that extra 1% of the way.
Friday, February 13, 2009
A Weekend of Sports
We're covering two major sporting events this weekend at Mahalo. It will be a rare chance for me, a pudgy coastal elite, to mingle with all you good regular salt-of-the-Earth Midwestern people, which can only be good for me.
- NBA All-Star Game
- NBA Slam Dunk Contest
- NBA Three-Point Shootout
- NBA Shooting Stars Competition
- NBA Skills Challenge
- NBA All-Star Saturday
- Rookie Challenge
- NBA All-Star Game Live Coverage
- Dwight Howard Dunk Contest
- Rudy Fernandez Dunk Contest
- J.R. Smith Dunk Contest
- Nate Robinson Dunk Contest
- Rudy Gay Dunk Contest
- John Legend NBA All-Star Performance
- Juanes NBA All-Star Performance
- NBA All-Star Horse Game
- Daytona 500
- Daytona 500 Results
- Speedweeks
- Daytona 500 Front Row
- Daytona 500 Start Time
- Daytona 500 TV Schedule
- Daytona 500 Winner
- Daytona ARCA 200
- Daytona International Speedway
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Thank You, Sir, Sallie Mae I Have Another?
3 years ago, when I was working in a video store and living juuuuuuuuuust above the poverty line, the Sallie Mae Corporation and I engaged in a series of frank exchanges of ideas, often in the wee small hours of the morning. In a nutshell, they felt that I should begin paying off the loans I incurred while earning a Master's Degree at USC, whereas I felt that this money would be better spent on pizza and DVDs. Needless to say, the discussions could get quite lively.
That was June of 2005. I have since improved my financial situation (SOMEWHAT!) and have started to actually pay back the loans. When I get around to it. But it's no longer a crisis.
Yet the blog post I wrote about the situation at that time CONTINUES to get a steady stream of traffic and comments. More comments, in fact, than any other post in the history of Crushed by Inertia, save the one where I wrote about all the dirty movie quotes and the one where I bashed the hell out of Zach Braff.
The post's relative popularity is not so surprising, I guess. Lots of people run into student loan trouble, so the topic is more relatable to more people than, say, discussions of classic Mexican horror films of the '50s. Many people share their own debt nightmares - constant anxiety, threatening phone calls, the walking death of wading through endless red tape and bureaucracy. Some of these people have stories that are seriously chilling and sad. I can't help but feel for them. They were, after all, getting into trouble in the pursuit of an education, not an Xbox or a Humvee or a McMansion.
So that's not a shock. What is surprising to me is how many of the responses to the post are vicious and pointless. Not intended to aid or inform or sympathize or even comment, really.
Some people show up just to lord over others, I suppose. They seek the elation of feeling superior to an anonymous stranger, for a fleeting second, because that anonymous stranger has one problem that they DON'T have.
The VERY FIRST RESPONSE I received, in fact, was cruelty from a stranger:
I suggest you pay them somehow, some way or your future is shot.
Now, at no point in the post did I say that I would never pay off my debts. The whole point of the post was that the company had spent a considerable amount of time and effort threatening me, even though I had no more money to give them.
But beyond that, my future was not SHOT. That is a ludicrous overstatement. Literally millions of Americans have found themselves in debt and managed to survive and press on, to restore their credit and begin building their financial dreams anew. So this person is showing up on my blog and responding to a post meant as humor with an idle threat. "Do as I say or you are ruined!"
2 comments later, another Anonymous person responded to that previous comment thusly:
Why would anyone sign your comment with an anonymous? It's amazing how close that email is to the things that come from Sallie Mae's halitosis breath.
I basically overlooked the observation that my threatening commenter may have been Sallie Mae-affiliated because of the hacky, schoolyard insults strewn throughout the paragraph.
(A brief note to people who rant on the Internet...Many of you seem inclined to emphasize your criticisms of an individual or body by resorting to gross-out humor or obscene insults. This is not an effective rhetorical strategy, however, as it makes you sound like either a junior high bully or, in the case of the person who left the above observation, a mental patient. Cutting, satirical statements should always be based on acute observation, not just taunting language.)
As it turns out, though they lacked eloquence, that Anonymous visitor to my blog may have been correct. I am now of the opinion that a number of the negative comments left on my amusing, mildly chiding Sallie Mae blog post could have been left by either employees of the company or other individuals who have been enlisted or hired to defend her honor on the Internet.
Don't believe me? The next negative comment on that thread came from another Anonymous person:
you people are fucking tards and ruining your credit. trust me i work there.
Interesting...
Maybe you should quit wasting your money on beer and trying to be twenty and actually pay your bills like an adult. maybe you could get another job while you are typing all these blogs. just a suggestion
Am I crazy or is this a hostile response to a blog post by a stranger written in a comically ironic fashion? Bear in mind, the post is clearly dated June of 2005. This comment was left at least 2 years later. Yet this person sounds ANGRY with me for suggesting that I couldn't afford my student loan payments. They degrade my lifestyle, call my immature...everything but actually threatening to beat me up and give me a swirlie.
(Also, pet peeve, people who USE blogs and yet do not know how to USE the word "blog." You type ON a blog, or you BLOG, but you don't type A BLOG. You type A BLOG POST that is then added TO YOUR BLOG. And you can just say "write," Mr. McCain. We're not using typewriters any more.)
So, one explanation is that these people are angry because they work at Sallie Mae, and are told to respond angrily and in a threatening fashion to these kinds of blog posts, so as to scare the author into paying up. Another explanation of such aggressive commenters is that they're pissy Sallie Mae employees who see this kind of crap from people all day...They have become jaded and bitter, and just wish people would stop giving excuses and pay bills like they're supposed to.
I hope it's one of these explanations. I really do. I can understand these scenarios...They make sense to me. I can relate to these people if they fit these profiles.
I just hope that the alternative isn't true. That these are just ANGRY strangers with no dog in this fight one way or the other. They just want to get on their computers at night and YELL and BARK at people who maybe aren't as secure or well-off as they are, who have some obvious flaw like irresponsibility and poverty that could be held up for scorn.
I hope this isn't true...but I suspect that it is. Because of the bullying tone of the responses, the way they remind me of the things assholes in real life just say all the time, because they are assholes.
I hate to break it to you, but you took their money and promised to pay it back. Quit drinking your money away and do what you promised. It's really not rocket science (presumably not what your masters is in). If you loaned money to someone who never paid you back, I guarantee you'd be calling them to ask about it as well.
That's just being an asshole. This person obviously read my post carefully and then proceeded to write the most bilious, mean-spirited response he could devise. For no reason at all. In the hopes of ruining my day. (Too bad he was about 2.5 years late.)
First off, whenever people say "I hate to break it to you..." you know they are full of shit. People who say that always LOVE to break it to you. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE THE ONES BREAKING IT TO YOU! It gets them off, somehow, to tell other people bad news.
Also, this guy can take his guarantee and cram it. Plenty of people over the course of my life have borrowed money from me and never paid me back, and I'm not on the phone threatening and harassing them all the time. And we're talking about money that, proportionally, is much more important to me and my livelihood than my individual loans are to the health of the Sallie Mae Corporation.
(I should note here that I did say in the post that Sallie Mae woke me up when I was hung over. But I also say that I went to a party and got drunk, not that I drank all my money away again because I'm an abusive alcoholic. Who never ever goes to a party and has a few drinks? Because I went to USC a few years ago, I'm not allowed any further vices, ever? In fact, someone who gets drunk at a party is THRIFTY and OPPORTUNISTIC, not fool-hardy and loose with money. That's the person who gets drunk at home.)
These two comments came in today:
count yourself lucky that you got a call on saturday at 10:30 am. They start as early as 8AM on saturdays. So quit your bitching and pay your loan back. YOU borrowed the money!
Again, 3 years too late, so by now I HAVE quit my bitching and started paying my loan back.
But why on Earth does this person care so much about my finances? They don't. They're just an asshole. (Though...note that this person KNOWS what time Sallie Mae starts calling people on Saturdays. Possibly because this is their job? I hope so, for their sake...)
Wow! I find it funny that you people can't pay on your student loans, but you have the time to sit here and type out these comments and you have the money to pay for internet connection? Hmm odd...Why don't you take the money you use for internet connection, put it on your student loans, & go get a job, since you do have all this free time to sit here and bitch because salliemae helped you go to school. OMG what an awful company! They loaned you the money you asked for so you could go to school to better yourself! OMG I would be sooo mad too! You all are so stupid.
At least this one's honest. He or she admits to finding other people's pain "funny." They're not even pretending at trying to help or making an honest suggestion.
(This one doesn't so much sound like a Sallie Mae employee as a Republican. Who goes around when the economy is shedding jobs like a German Shepard on a crushed velour couch and yells at strangers to GO GET A JOB! I even mention in the 2005 post that I HAD A JOB! PLUS IT'S 3 YEARS LATER!)
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Friday, February 06, 2009
Steve Wonder AND The Jonas Brothers? I've got to sit down...
You know what's really amazing about this Grammy performance line-up? It includes Carrie Underwood AND Kid Rock, and I'm still looking at it thinking..."Hey, this is much better than usual!" I'll be covering the show LIVE for Mahalo on Sunday. Here's where you can keep up with all the hot, sensual, exciting Kenny Chesney action.
- Neil Diamond MusiCares Person of the Year
- Smokey Robinson Grammy Performance
- Stevie Wonder Grammy Performance
- M.I.A. Grammy Performance
- Kenny Chesney Grammy Performance
- Sugarland Grammy Performance
- Jamie Foxx Ne-Yo Grammy Performance
- Carrie Underwood Grammy Performance
- Jay-Z Grammy Performance
- T.I. Grammy Performance
- Chris Brown Grammy Performance
- Adele Grammy Performance
- Kanye West Grammy Performance
- Jonas Brothers Grammy Performance
- Jennifer Hudson Grammy Performance
- Rihanna Grammy Performance
- Robert Plant and Alison Krauss Grammy Performance
- Kid Rock Grammy Performance
- U2 Grammy Performance
- Radiohead Grammy Performance
- Paul McCartney Grammy Performance
- Katy Perry Grammy Performance
- Coldplay Grammy Performance
- Lil Wayne Grammy Performance
- Justin Timberlake Grammy Performance
- Best Alternative Music Album 2009 Grammys
- Best Country Album 2009 Grammys
- Best Pop Vocal Album 2009 Grammys
- Best Rap Album 2009 Grammys
- Grammy Awards
- Grammy Nominations
- 2009 Grammy Nominations
- Album of the Year 2009 Grammys
- Song of the Year 2009 Grammys
- Record of the Year 2009 Grammys
- Best New Artist 2009 Grammys
- 2009 Grammy Nomination Performances
- 2009 Grammy Performances
- Grammy Winners 2009
- 2009 Grammy Awards Photos
- Grammy 2009 Live Coverage
A Few Words About Michael Phelps
On the radio earlier this morning, Adam Carolla was talking about how the person who photographed Michael Phelps smoking from a bong and then sold the photo was an asshole. I've seen several comments on Twitter to this effect a well. I agree, it's not the nicest thing to do, and it's greedy, and that's a person you wouldn't invite to your next raucous collegiate get-together.
But come on...That person just took advantage of an insane society that actually cares if a guy in his early 20s takes a few b-rips at a party. It shouldn't be a big deal to snap a photo of one of your goofball friends smoking pot because it's not a big deal to smoke pot. The real culprits here are the bizarre hypocrites who are even pretending to be outraged by this photo. Getting angry at a young celebrity for smoking pot is like getting angry at Christian Bale for loudly telling off some guy. That's what they do!
Punishing and condemning a guy for doing a thing that harms actually no one, and is a good deal of fun, and has been done at least a few times by the vast, vast majority of teenage and adult Americans makes absolutely no sense. Suspending him from the USA swim team for 3 months is ludicrous. How many other people on that swim team have smoked pot ONCE and just happened to not be photographed at the time? Have we checked all their Facebook pages?
Basically, my point is, Afroman should publicly apologize for getting high. I'm pretty sure I've seen that guy photographed smoking pot on his own album covers.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Can Someone Seriously Explain This To Me?
For real. I don't get it. What the hell IS this? Is this supposed to be for children? Is it meant to be funny? Is this ironic? Why is this happening?
I mean, okay...Steve Martin's not actually funny any more. Fine. Fair enough. It happens. But that doesn't begin to explain this video.
Discuss.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Super Bowling
I will once again be covering all the Super Bowl Sunday action for Mahalo.com tomorrow. Here's JUST A SAMPLE of the awesome pages we've already built to take you inside the athletics-junk-food-and-mindless-consumerism action!
- Amy Borkowsky
- Angels and Demons Super Bowl Ad
- Budweiser Clydesdale Super Bowl Ad
- Carreer Builder Super Bowl Ad
- Cars.com Super Bowl Ad
- Cheetos Super Bowl Ad
- Chuck Super Bowl Ad
- Denny's Super Bowl Ad
- Doritos "Free Doritos" Super Bowl Ad
- Doritos New Flavor Pitch Super Bowl Ad
- Doritos Power of the Crunch Super Bowl Ad
- Doritos Super Bowl Ad
- Doritos The Chase Super Bowl Ad
- Doritos Too Delicious Super Bowl Ad
- Fast and the Furious Super Bowl Ad
- Frosted Flakes Super Bowl Ad
- GI Joe Super Bowl Ad
- Go Daddy Danica Patrick Super Bowl Ad
- Go Daddy Super Bowl Ad
- H and R Block Super Bowl Ad
- Heineken Super Bowl Ad
- Heroes Super Bowl Ad
- Hyundai Genesis Super Bowl Ad
- Hyundai Super Bowl Ad
- Jay Leno Super Bowl Ad
- Kings Super Bowl Ad
- LMAO NBC Super Bowl Ad
- Land of the Lost Super Bowl Ad
- Medium Super Bowl Ad
- Miller One Second Super Bowl Ad
- Monsters vs. Aliens Super Bowl Ad
- NFL Network Super Bowl Ad
- Pedigree Super Bowl Ad
- Pepsi Super Bowl Ad
- Sobe Lizard Lake Super Bowl Ad
- Sobe Super Bowl Ad
- Star Trek Super Bowl Ad
- Super Bowl Ads 2009
- Super Bowl Commercials 2009
- Super Bowl Commercials Live Coverage
- Teleflora Super Bowl Ad
- Transformers Super Bowl Ad
But who did? I'll just have to figure it out when I start covering the event. (Don't worry, sports fans, we'll leave the coverage of the actual game to more dedicated professionals. I'm just taking on Commercial Duty.)
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Streets Will Flow with the Blood of the Non-Believers!
Lots of people are picking up on the fact that Obama purposefully name-checked "non-believers" while listing the Religions of America during his inauguration speech:
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus–and non-believers."
It's nice to be included, and I'm glad Obama's not a Bush-style troglodyte who rejects the notion out of hand that atheists are part of the American fabric. (You'll recall that it was George HW Bush who, allegedly, does not think atheists should be considered citizens or patriots. I use 'allegedly' here because Bush has always denied making this comment, though it appeared in a newspaper which has never retracted the article, so he probably did.)
But I can't really get all that excited about having my non-adherence to a religion acknowledged by the president this way. OF COURSE I'm allowed to believe or not believe whatever the hell I want. OF COURSE I can be an American citizen and not be religious. It's completely asinine to believe anything else. Obama doesn't need to say it to me. I'd rather he not have to talk about religion at all.
I feel like only someone deeply insecure needs the President to tell them they're okay all the time. It's Obama's job to run the government, not to listen to a list of things I think and then pat me on the head and tell me I'm smart. So many Americans demand this kind of hand-holding...It's just desperation for approval.
If he had just said:
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus..."
and left it at that, he'd still technically be correct. There are many people from all of those faiths in this country. That statement is not exclusive. He's merely describing some different religious groups in America, not listing all of them, or the degrees to which you can or can not adhere to them. Sikhs are not hurt that they didn't come up. (I'm not sure, actually? Are they? If so, they should get the fuck over themselves.)
Here's the point...I think people are too sensitive about religion, and that includes people who do not follow any religion at all. I'm not religious because I don't care about it. I think it's kind of interesting, actually, and have probably read more about it than a lot of very religious Americans. But I don't care about it. That means I don't have to hear the president discuss whether or not my take on it fits in with the larger patchwork of his plans and ideas. I don't care about it.
Anyway, I appreciate the gesture. I'm sure, in part, what Obama and his speechwriters were doing was signaling, through language, their overall intention to be a more inclusive, tolerant administration. Which is great. I just think atheists make too much of these sorts of stupid gestures. Fight the real fights, where the separation of church and state matters - science classrooms, stem cell research divisions, and so forth. Nitpicking things like "In God We Trust" on the money and mentions in high-profile speeches just makes the non-believers seem shrill and arrogant.
Plus, I think there were more interesting aspects of the Inauguration on which to focus attention. Like that thing Aretha Franklin had on her head. What was that thing? It's stretching things to refer to it as a "hat."
Friday, January 09, 2009
McSane?
All of the sudden, John McCain sounds almost half-rational again.
"There are not many times in history," he said, "that a president has come to office with as many challenges as the president-elect does and that's incumbent then upon all of us to try and do all we can to work with him."
Appearing on Fox News for one of the few times since losing the election, McCain offered a supportive assessments of the president-elect's agenda. He acknowledged the need to pass a stimulus, but said he would reserve judgment until he saw the final package.
"All I can say to you is that I want to see the stimulus package I want to see what it does, I want to see what kind of provision it has in it," he told Neil Cavuto. "I think the president-elect is going to marshal public opinion. Right now his approval ratings and hopes of the American people are very high," he later added.
He also called Obama's national security team "excellent," and saved special praise for CIA Director nominee Leon Panetta.
"I think that Leon Panetta is highly qualified, and in all due respect I think it is not bad from time to time to have somebody from outside of the intelligence community but with strong managerial experience as Chief of Staff of the White House, to be head of one of these agencies. I think there is some good balance there."
McCain said he talked with Obama since the election about foreign policy and domestic matters. Calling those conversations "very cordial," he added, "I want to help the president succeed."
Until he cemented his decision to run for president in 2008, this is how John McCain always sounded. Not like a bold, decisive leader or anything...just a fairly rational guy. This is what made him appealing to independents and Democrats.
Cheney also said during an interview Thursday with The Associated Press that he has no qualms about the reliability of intelligence obtained from terrorism suspects through waterboarding, a technique simulating drowning. The vice president said waterboarding has been used with "great discrimination by people who know what they're doing" and produced much valuable information.
They say things that rational people can only puzzle over, baffled.
A candidate for the Republican National Committee chairmanship said Friday the CD he sent committee members for Christmas -- which included a song titled "Barack the Magic Negro" -- was clearly intended as a joke.
"I think most people recognize political satire when they see it," Tennessee Republican Chip Saltsman told CNN. "I think RNC members understand that."
When one of them starts making ANY SENSE AT ALL, it's a huge relief. And that, to me, was always the explanation for McCain's appeal. He's still behaving like a Republican, but I can listen to him speak for more than a minute without feeling like I've plunged into some kind of Carroll-esque alternate universe, with everyone speaking in silly puzzles.
I mean, you could replace Rudy Giuliani's stump speech with dialogue from Prince Caspian and it'd have about the same level of relevance to everyday life in as it is lived in America.
Bear in mind, I don't think this bodes well for John McCain's character or integrity. This means that he's clued in enough to know better. He might not really believe in all the insane things he said and did during his presidential run...but he said and did them anyway. That's how much he wants to be president. Enough to potentially leave us with President Palin. Enough to pander to bigots. Enough to blatantly lie about stupid nonsense just to win over a few more ignorant yokels.
At least you get the feeling Rudy's genuinely crazy, and perhaps even sinister, by nature. He doesn't know any better. He thinks constantly boasting about and exploiting 9/11 makes him a hero. Because he's a nutcase. McCain hoped to fake being a nutcase in order to profit by it. That's worse!
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