Intelligent Re-design!

It's too bad the theories of evolution and global warming are fraudulent junk science, because they would really help to explain this:

Longer growing seasons have caused genetic changes in a wide range of animals in the past few decades, biologists announced today.

As the spring reproductive season arrives earlier and lasts longer in northern latitudes, a fact owing to climate change, animals that can adapt their schedules stand a better chance of seeing their genetic information passed on to later generations, leading to a change in gene frequencies within populations.

Wow, it's almost like nature is "selecting" certain species of animals to survive by allowing them to live longer and breed, based on their ability to adapt to their habitat and ecological system. I wonder if anybody's thought to concoct a theory around this remarkable observation...

Studies have shown that global warming is acting fastest at the most northern latitudes, resulting in longer growing seasons. The change is also alleviating winter cold stress without imposing summer heat stress.

"Spring is coming earlier and fall is coming later," said study co-author Christina Holzapfel, a biologist at the University of Oregon. "The conditions that you experience in the North are becoming way more like you'd expect them in the South."

Of course, this study, detailed in the June 9th issue of Science Magazine, is only giving you one perspective on this story. There are plenty of other perfectly reasonable explanations for these phenomenon coming from the Intelligent Design crowd.

For example, did you stop to consider that God wants us to enjoy more tropical fruits, so he's heating up vast zones of the Earth to grow more kiwis, pineapples and juicy mangoes and killing off animals who would raid these crops? Or perhaps that the widespread marrying of gayers has caused the entire planet to tip slightly Hell-ward over the past few decades, resulting in an overall increase in heat and forcing God to personally recalibrate the animal population? I'd like to hear one of those brainy egghead University of Bore-egon scientists poke a hole in that theory.

Many animals time their migrations and reproductive habits so they arrive in an area at the same time food is most abundant, but some food items sprout in response to warm temperatures and are becoming available earlier in the season. In some cases, animals are showing up as the food source is starting to fade, leading to a decrease in fitness and survival of offspring.

"Take great tits for example," explains study co-author William Bradshaw, also of the University of Oregon.

With pleasure!

These European birds...

Oh, yeah, the birds. Never mind.

These European birds rely on day length to decide when to lay eggs so plenty of caterpillars will be available to feed their hatchlings.

But the caterpillars respond to warming temperatures and are arriving earlier in the season. Since the birds are still following daylight cues, there are fewer caterpillars left to feed hungry chicks when the eggs hatch, leading to lower fitness and survival rates.

So, what you guys are saying is that...the early bird catches the worm. Aesop saw all this shit coming, man! That guy was like the Nostradamus of animal-themed morality tales.

While shrinking glaciers and animals struggling to adapt to a changing global climate might grab all the headlines, pathogens that require a longer growing season could emerge, Holzapfel said. The shift could also have large economic impact, particularly related to agriculture.

Are shrinking glaciers and animals struggling to adapt grabbing "all the headlines"? I guess you could say that Al Gore's movie recently grabbed some headlines, but most of those were obsessed with explaining to everyone why we still hate Al Gore. In fact, I haven't seen many headlines at all about global warming's effect on animals, unless you consider being slaughtered and packed into a RibWich a "struggle to adapt."