16 Blocks

Before I can even go on with a proper review of this film, we need to talk about Mos Def's voice. I've heard the man speak and he actually has a very pleasant, level voice. I mean, he's an MC, right? He's got to be able to express himself fluidly and clearly, correct?

What this means is that, at some point during the pre-production process on 16 Blocks, Mos and director Richard Donner made the intentional decision for him to sound like a Muppet. And not even a featured Muppet player. Eddie Bunker, Mos Def's character, doesn't have the distinctive nasally whine of Gonzo or the raspy baritone of Rolph. He sounds like one of the members of the Muppet Show band who they only give two lines per season.

I thought that his character was supposed to be retarded for the first 15 minutes or so of the movie. That's how out of place and bizarre Mos Def's choices in this role. 16 Blocks isn't really all that awful as an overall effort, but this irritating, aggressively awful lead performance keeps distracting from the film's modest charms, making it seem worse than it really is. This is unfortunate, because I've enjoyed Mos Def in The Woodsman and The Italian Job, and otherwise Donner has turned in a passable, if generic, cop thriller.



Aside from MD, I would only take issue with Richard Wenk's script, which only makes sense occasionally if you apply a certain kind of cartoon logic. Tired, alcoholic NYPD officer Jack Mosley (Bruce Willis) is on his way home after a long night when his superior asks him to run one quick errand before clocking out. He must pick up some prisoner from the local jail and transport him 16 blocks away to the Court House to meet with a Grand Jury by 10.

Anyone who has ever seen a movie before can probably guess what happens. It turns out, prisoner Eddie Bunker (Mr. Mos) is planning to testify against a number of extremely crooked cops, including Jack's partner, Frank Nugent (David Morse). These police officers will, naturally, stop at nothing to keep Jack and Eddie from completing their appointed rounds. And so the chase, as they say, is on. (I don't know what Frank's so worried about...If he goes to prison, I'm sure his brother Ted can devise some survivalist scheme involving a crossbow and an extraordinarily loud guitar solo to break him out.)

Consider this...Bruce Willis previously played the hero to David Morse's supervillain. Can you name the movie?








It was 12 Monkeys, in which Morse memorably donned a red wig to play the lab assistant plotting the End Times. Mathematically, this means their next film must include the number 20 in the title. Unless I've forgotten to carry a zero or something.

Anyway, 16 Blocks offers no real surprises and no real excitement, but it's pretty well-shot and features some predictably solid work from Willis and Morse. There's a lot of ungainly dialogue to get through about honor and justice and duty, the kinds of scenes these guys have been doing in middle-of-the-road cop thrillers from something like 20 years now. But you never get the sense that these two guys are bored or that they're on auto-pilot. It's not award-worthy work, just professionalism.

The screenplay has some lapses, admittedly. It's doubtful that Willis' character would have been given this assignment in the first place considering what we learn by the final scenes. The film's understanding of the nature of court proceedings and grand juries seemed a bit shaky. Once the chase segues awkwardly into an armed stand-off, complete with a bus full of hostages, all common sense has been pitched out the window. If catching a middle-aged drunk and a strange guy loudly spouting gibberish in the middle of New York at midday is this difficult for these cops, can you imagine how much trouble they have with real crime? No wonder they have to cheat and plan evidence in order to put guys away.

The sad irony is that Eddie was almost assuredly the most interesting character on the page. An irascible former thief who dreams of making birthday cakes for a living, I'd wager the fast-talking, street-wise and anxiety-prone goofball brought a lot of color and New York atmosphere to a screenplay in need of some individuality. But instead of coming up with an organic, natural persona for Eddie, Mos Def does the gruff voice he used to do for laughs on "The Chappelle Show" and talks really fast. So you can't understand him at all, and when you can, he's babbling about sheet cake recipies at a fantastic clip. And no one wants to watch that, trust me.

I honestly can't believe Richard Donner let him do this for the entire movie. He's in just about every scene and he's virtually incomprehensible. Really, it goes beyond the mere fact that you can't hear or discern what he's saying. The entire character is a dumb caricature, the sort of thing that might be funny for a minute or two in a comedy sketch. If Eddie's going to be the comic relief for an entire film, shouldn't there be a little more going on with him?