Bush Has a Tell!

In poker, when you have a tell, it means you give away your position through body language, or some other unconscious gesture or mannerism. Essentially, it's the same method employed by a lie detector. When you "bluff," you're essentially lying to people about what cards you have, and an acute observer can pick up visual cues when you are lying.

I think George Bush has revealed a tell in his most recent press conference, from New Orleans. Upon his first trip to Louisiana in three months, Commandant Lassard Bush had this to say:

President Bush made his first trip here in three months on Thursday and declared that New Orleans was "a heck of a place to bring your family" and that it had "some of the greatest food in the world and some wonderful fun."

Heck of? Where have we heard G. Dubs use that phrase before? Of course, it's when he told Michael Brown (Brownie!) that he was doing a "heckuv a job" heading up the FEMA response to Hurricane Katrina. Which wasn't at all true!

Could this "heck of" thing be an indication of when Bush is full of shit? Lacking access to Lexis-Nexis, there's no way I can be sure. It's just, you know, funny that this guy is so entirely oblivious. Perhaps none of his idiotic phrases were maligned and ridiculed more in 2005 than "Heck of a job, Brownie," and now, here he is, before we've even hit January 15th of the next year, using the heck of thing again in discussing the very same topic, the success of clean-up efforts in the Gulf Coast.

Mr. Bush spent his brief visit in a meeting with political and business leaders on the edge of the Garden District, the grand neighborhood largely untouched by the floodwaters of Hurricane Katrina, and saw little devastation. He did not go into the city's hardest-hit areas or to Jackson Square, where several hundred girls from the Academy of the Sacred Heart staged a protest demanding stronger levees.

Mr. Bush's motorcade did pass some abandoned neighborhoods as it traveled on Interstate 10 into the city.

Yikes. What an asshole. He visits the areas that received the least amount of devastation, speeds past the placed that were hardest hit, then does a speech about how everyone should stop bitching bceause everything looks fine to him. He's not even trying to disguise his contempt for the American people any more, now that there's no re-election to steal.

"It may be hard for you to see, but from when I first came here to today, New Orleans is reminding me of the city I used to come to visit," the president told the local leaders at the Convention and Visitors Bureau, an independent group set up to attract business and tourism to the city.

"Of course," Bush continued, "I was in a total daze when I used to come to NOLA, if you know whut I mean...Probably couldn't tell the diff'rence between the French Quarter, the Red Square or Sunni Triangle, so I'm maybe not the most reliable witness..."

Mr. Bush added that "for folks around the country who are looking for a great place to have a convention, or a great place to visit, I'd suggest coming here to the great New Orleans."

Isn't it amazing how the solution to every single American problem is for us to run around and spend lots of money we don't have? Planes hit the World Trade Center? Go out, spend money, why not come see a Broadway show instead of, you know, paying your mortgage this month? Hurricane destroys much of New Orleans? Just start planning conventions there! Heavy-set, useless, overpaid middle management types gorging themselves on shrimp cocktails and mini-bar Toblerones are the future of this nation's economy, goddammit!

The president ignored questions about the city's new rebuilding plan, introduced Wednesday night to enormous community criticism, and White House officials traveling with Mr. Bush declined to offer opinions. The plan, which depends on nearly $17 billion more from the federal government, gives neighborhoods in low-lying parts of the city from four months to a year to attract sufficient numbers of residents or be bulldozed.
Yeah, well...the nice neighborhoods are looking great! Let's focus on the positive! New Orleans: A Heckuva Town!