Randal: Reality TV's Biggest Asshole Ever?

I mean, that's really saying something...There are a lot of assholes on reality shows. I mean, I don't even watch the majority of reality TV, and just on the shows I watch, there are an immense amount of assholes.

I mean, Johnny Fairplay on "Real World/Road Rules Challenge?" He defecates on girls in the house and then brags about it to magazines. Janice Dickenson from "America's Next Top Model," what about her. A woman so obnoxious that she makes Omarosa seem reasonable and even-tempered. And then there's Ryan Seacrest, host of "American Idol." He hasn't done anything particularly outrageous...I just think he's an asshole.

But I think Donald Trump's freshly-crowned apprentice Randal make take the taco. Biggest Reality TV Asshole of All Time.



In case you missed this week's season finale, Trump had whittled down the candidates to two potential employees...Rhodes Scholar and Business Consultant Randal vs. Financial Writer Rebecca. Randal, the older and more experienced of the two, and the one with the better track record as a project manager, had a distinct advantage going in. But after the final task was completed, it was essentially a toss-up between the two candidates. No one was a clear-cut winner, as in the previous season, when Worst Person Alive nominee Tana Goertz suffered a complete mental breakdown during the final "Apprentice" task.

What happened next, in tonight's final boardroom, was one of those TV moments so shocking and bizarre, so unexpected, that you actually make gutteral, alien noises from the back of your throat. Like, "Gu-bbbbbbbbuuuuuuuuhhhhhh?"

Here's how NBC's "Apprentice" website describes the last boardroom:

In the end, Trump made the tough call: "Rebecca, you're outstanding. Randal, you're hired." But he left the door open, asking Randal if he should also hire Rebecca. Randal, however, did not take the bait. He said there should be only one Apprentice, adding, "It's not the Apprenti." Trump heeded the advice of his newest employee, and Randal remained the sole Apprentice.

Interesting, that that's how NBC decided to play it...As if Trump were baiting Randal, trying to trick him, and he cleverly avoided falling for the ruse. That's not what it looked like on television. To me, it appeared for the entire episode that Trump was going to hire both of the candidates. Hints were dropped, obvious asides that indicated a surprise "twist" ending, in which Trump would be unable to make a choice between two such qualified and exemplary people.

And as he agonized during the exceptionally long final boardroom, it became increasingly obvious that the job would be offered to both candidates. Then, he actually hired Randal, there was a moment of celebration...and Trump asked his new Apprentice to sit back down.

"I trust your opinion," Trump said. "If you were me, would you also hire Rebecca?"

That doesn't sound like a trap. There was no chance Trump was going to suddenly un-hire Randal based on his answer. And, as I said, hints had been dropped the entire episode that Trump would pull this surprise move and hire both candidates. And still, Randal said no. What an awful thing to do...To request that someone be denied a cash prize and noteriety, even after these rewards had already been promised to you.



Rebecca must have wanted to murder him. I mean, he had already won. It was over. She had been defeated. And here it is, a second chance, and all that has to happen is this man who had made overtures of friendship to her for weeks during the competition had to give it the okay. It wouldn't affect him at all. His prize package was secure, he had been crowned The Apprentice. All that he would have to do is say "Yes, that's a good idea." Or, "She's very qualified and I'd be happy to work with her." And he says, "No, you said it's The Apprentice, singular, so it should just be me." Incredible, not only that his mind would think that way, but that he'd have the confidence to say so on national television.

My brother called me immediately after I had finished watching the show to talk about this incredible, inexplicable development. Truly, this is one of the great TV moments of 2005, if not the greatest. (Although I don't know...R. Kelly performing "Trapped in the Closet" live on the VMA's...) We talked about how it was fantastic television, really above and beyond the call for a reality show in its fourth season, reeling from lowered ratings and a failed spin-off.

Jon also made an interesting point...Even though he succeeded in hogging all the glory for himself and eliminating Rebecca from the Trump Organization, Randal has actually doomed himself to lifelong infamy. Now, instead of focusing attention on him and his success, all the press about Randal in the wake of his win will focus on his rejection of Rebecca. Long as his career in the public eye may last (and it may not last beyond tonight), this snap decision will haunt him.

If you're still one of these people rejecting reality TV on principle, you don't know what you're missing...As much as I love some scripted television shows (and if "Arrested Development" winds up in an unrated, longer version with better production values and swearing on Showtime, I may have to adjust my cable package)...You couldn't script a turnabout like this. This kind of depraved selfishness and narcissism can only truly blossom in reality.