Ben Stein Hates You

I was once a contestant on "Win Ben Stein's Money." It was a lot of fun, even though I didn't get to tape the show on the original day they had me show up, so I wound up sitting through 6 hours of taping only to show up again to compete the next day. Ugh.

Even though I already knew, politically, we weren't on the same page, I went away from the experience thinking Ben Stein was a genuinely nice man. We had spoken a bit on the set during the commercial breaks and whatnot, and he was very personable and funny. I didn't even hold it against him and his staff that I lost in the second round to a female private detective on a question about pectin, a common protein found in apple skin.

But, it turns out, I was fooled. I allowed his jocular taste for self-effacing humor and iconic role in a John Hughes teen comedy to distract my mind from the truth - Ben Stein is a hateful, horrible man. I kind of wish I could go on the show again, if it even still existed, to spit in the man's ugly face.



I'm not joking. This article Ben has written for the American Spectator is one of the most sick, disturbing things I have read in the entire Katrina aftermath. Here is a man who is so blinded by his idolatry of this president, by his sycophantic devotion to a cavalier madman, he has sacrificed his personal integrity and reputation.

His column is 100% entirely racist, and even worse, Stein has the temerity to accuse others of racism in the midst of his own racist screed!

A few truths, for those who have ears and eyes and care to know the truth:

Right away, from the first moment, he lost me. What a pompous asshole. He's making the case from moment one that those accusing this president of negligence in the Katrina affair aren't after the "truth." Of course, only those who defend every single action the president takes, from reading "My Pet Goat" while the World Trade Center burns and on, are really interested in truth. Everyone else is just making personal attacks, right? Personal attacks without any motivation at all...

1.) The hurricane that hit New Orleans and Mississippi and Alabama was an astonishing tragedy. The suffering and loss of life and peace of mind of the residents of those areas is acutely horrifying.

A classic rhetorical tool - make obvious concessions before going on a rant in order to seem even-handed. This would be like me saying "There are never circumstances in which it is okay to rape a baby" before going into a persuasive argument about sex crime legislation. Of course Hurricane Katrina is a tragedy, Stein...get on with it...

2.) George Bush did not cause the hurricane. Hurricanes have been happening for eons. George Bush did not create them or unleash this one.

Ho ho...how droll...Ha ha...It is to laugh...

We'll call this Straw Man #1. No one is saying that George Bush created a Hurricane. We're saying this the government which he runs did nothing for five days while thousands died. It's not that hard to understand.

3.) George Bush did not make this one worse than others. There have been far worse hurricanes than this before George Bush was born.

Straw Man #2. No one is saying that George Bush made Hurricane Katrina stronger than other hurricanes. We're saying his response was slower and less efficient. One has nothing to do with the other.

I want to pause here...Ben Stein is many things. Sinister, obnoxious, rich, insensitive, pompous...But he's not stupid. His whole career is built on not being stupid. He knows that these arguments make no sense. So why make them?

Why sacrifice your reputation and integrity just to protect George Bush? Stein, of course, is a lifelong conservative. He worked for Richard Nixon, the biggest lying paranoid anti-Semetic scumbag around. So his credentials as a toady of the right are rock-solid.

But even so...Why does he feel the need to come out with such a blatantly misleading, stupid, wrong-headed article defending this president? Many on the right have asked where this intense hatred of George Bush comes from (and, if they would only listen, I would be more than happy to explain it to them)...But is anyone on the Left asking where this intense unreasonable love of George Bush comes from?

I understand it amongst the hateful and super-religious...They love him because he's the first president to speak in their brand of intolerant slack-jawed idiocy. They love him because he hates the gays and loves the Jesus and bombs the browns. But why Stein? Bush is no fiscal conservative, he hardly pays lip service to the grand legacy of old-fashioned small-goverment to which Stein adheres...

4.) There is no overwhelming evidence that global warming exists as a man-made phenomenon. There is no clear-cut evidence that global warming even exists. There is no clear evidence that if it does exist it makes hurricanes more powerful or makes them aim at cities with large numbers of poor people. If global warming is a real phenomenon, which it may well be, it started long before George Bush was inaugurated, and would not have been affected at all by the Kyoto treaty, considering that Kyoto does not cover the world's worst polluters -- China, India, and Brazil. In a word, George Bush had zero to do with causing this hurricane. To speculate otherwise is belief in sorcery.

Straw Man #3. Noticing a pattern? Stein expressly refuses to deal with the actual issues. Probably because he has no valid response as to why Bush, FEMA and The Department of Homeland Security dropped the ball.

Say it with me now...No one is saying George Bush caused global warming, and no one is saying that if he had signed the Kyoto Treaty, it would have gone away anyway.

Some are saying that global warming has caused larger and more dangerous tropical storms to begin forming. We just don't know enough about climatology at this point to say for sure. But I have seen some information that is certainly suggestive that there may be a causal connection between global warming and large storms like Katrina.

Stein dismisses it without offering a shred of evidence, or even citing a source. He just knows, okay? Because George Bush can do no wrong.

Here's a thoughtful little piece from TIME Magazine that considers both sides of the argument:

So is global warming making the problem worse? Superficially, the numbers say yes—or at least they seem to if you live in the U.S. From 1995 to 1999, a record 33 hurricanes struck the Atlantic basin, and that doesn’t include 1992’s horrific Hurricane Andrew, which clawed its way across south Florida in 1992, causing $27 billion dollars worth of damage. More-frequent hurricanes are part of most global warming models, and as mean temperatures rise worldwide, it’s hard not to make a connection between the two.

See? It's by no means definitive, but I wouldn't exactly dismiss the article as quickly and rashly as Stein. No, global warming has nothing to do with hurricanes. George Bush can't make a hurricane. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

One especially sobering study from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that hurricane wind speeds have increased about 50% in the past 50 years. And since warm oceans are such a critical ingredient in hurricane formation, anything that gets the water warming more could get the storms growing worse. Global warming, in theory at least, would be more than sufficient to do that.

But, no! Ben Stein said there was no connection at all! If you can't trust a TV game show host, who can you trust?

5.) George Bush had nothing to do with the hurricane contingency plans for New Orleans. Those are drawn up by New Orleans and Louisiana. In any event, the plans were perfectly good: mandatory evacuation. It is in no way at all George Bush's fault that about 20 percent of New Orleans neglected to follow the plan. It is not his fault that many persons in New Orleans were too confused to realize how dangerous the hurricane would be. They were certainly warned. It's not George Bush's fault that there were sick people and old people and people without cars in New Orleans. His job description does not include making sure every adult in America has a car, is in good health, has good sense, and is mobile.

Ben Stein, you are a lying sack of shit. STOP LYING FOR THIS PRESIDENT!

The President himself declared a State of Emergency in Louisiana on August 26th, several days before the storm hit.

Folks, this is all from the fucking White House website:

The President's action authorizes the Department of Homeland Security, Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), to coordinate all disaster relief efforts which have the purpose of alleviating the hardship and suffering caused by the emergency on the local population, and to provide appropriate assistance for required emergency measures, authorized under Title V of the Stafford Act, to save lives, protect property and public health and safety, or to lessen or avert the threat of a catastrophe in the parishes of Allen, Avoyelles, Beauregard, Bienville, Bossier, Caddo, Caldwell, Claiborne, Catahoula, Concordia, De Soto, East Baton Rouge, East Carroll, East Feliciana, Evangeline, Franklin, Grant, Jackson, LaSalle, Lincoln, Livingston, Madison, Morehouse, Natchitoches, Pointe Coupee, Ouachita, Rapides, Red River, Richland, Sabine, St. Helena, St. Landry, Tensas, Union, Vernon, Webster, West Carroll, West Feliciana, and Winn.

Specifically, FEMA is authorized to identify, mobilize, and provide at its discretion, equipment and resources necessary to alleviate the impacts of the emergency. Debris removal and emergency protective measures, including direct Federal assistance, will be provided at 75 percent Federal funding.

Representing FEMA, Michael D. Brown, Under Secretary for Emergency Preparedness and Response, Department of Homeland Security, named William Lokey as the Federal Coordinating Officer for Federal recovery operations in the affected area.

Sounds like the Feds promised to come in and help out, huh? Not to mention that, under the rules Bush himself established when he created the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), the Feds were supposed to come in and help the local goverments to coordinate the recovery efforts.

From PBS' NewsHour website:

As Katrina threatened the Gulf Coast, Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco issued a state of emergency on Aug. 26 and on Aug. 28 sent a letter to President Bush requesting a disaster declaration for the state in order to release federal assistance.

"I have determined that this incident will be of such severity and magnitude that effective response will be beyond the capabilities of the state and affected local governments and that supplementary federal assistance will be necessary," Blanco wrote in her letter.

The letter had to travel through points in FEMA before the federal government could respond. FEMA deployed regional responders before Katrina made landfall, but a major federal response wasn't evident until days later. The hurricane crippled many state and local emergency agencies in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama leaving them unable to respond without federal help.

August 28th, folks. Still before the storm. Where was the federal government? And why are private citizens like Ben Stein willing to put their credibility on the line for this administration? Greed? A childish desire to suck up to the powerful? Homosexual desire for the President? I have no idea...

More from PBS:

On Sept. 9, 2005, Chertoff pulled Brown from the role of managing Hurricane Katrina relief efforts.

Blanco's office blamed bureaucracy and layers of red tape for blocking an effective emergency effort.

"We wanted helicopters, food and water. They wanted to negotiate an organizational chart," Blanco's press secretary Denise Bottcher told the New York Times.

But that's only the first half of what Stein said in that above paragraph. The really reprehensible stuff is in that second half.

It is not his fault that many persons in New Orleans were too confused to realize how dangerous the hurricane would be. They were certainly warned. It's not George Bush's fault that there were sick people and old people and people without cars in New Orleans. His job description does not include making sure every adult in America has a car, is in good health, has good sense, and is mobile.

Too confused? How about too fucking impoverished, you sick evil fuck? Stein is gloating right now about how all the smart (read: white) people were able to get out, insisting that those left behind were simply too stupid to get out on their own.

It's beyond callous. Has Ben Stein ever lived paycheck-to-paycheck? Has he ever struggled to feed, clothe and house a family? Why should we listen to a millionaire game show host tell us what the poor in New Orleans should have done.

"It's not George Bush's fault that there were sick people..." It's his fault that they were left behind to die. It's not his fault they don't have cars, but it is his fault that no buses were provided to get them the hell out of the kill zone.

I hope Ben Stein dies. Seriously. I hope he fucking dies, and I hope there's a genuine chance to save him, but that no one cares enough to lift a finger and help him, and he dies knowing that he's been totally abandoned by everyone who promised that they cared about him.

6.) George Bush did not cause gangsters to shoot at rescue helicopters taking people from rooftops, did not make gang bangers rape young girls in the Superdome, did not make looters steal hundreds of weapons, in short make New Orleans into a living hell.

I haven't really read a lot of evidence for this stuff...I know there were reports by cops that snipers were shooting at planes, and I suppose a little lawlessness can always be expected when there's, you know, a hellish natural disaster going on and no one in a position of authority is doing anything to help anyone. And, if your city had turned into a dystopian, post-apocalyptic anarchist nightmare, you might think of trying to snag a revolver as well...

It doesn't even occur to Ben that New Orleans might have been a living hell because there was no food, water, power, facilities or means to escape. That sitting around waiting to die of thirst in a puddle of your own human waste and surrounded by the corpses of your friends and family might be a living hell.

I think he's really ready to believe that there was rape and mayhem going on all around because, you know, all those people were...black. There were early reports on right-wing websites of cannibalism in the Superdome. Because some white people will believe any kind of ridiculous savage rumors about blacks. It's called racism.

7.) George Bush is the least racist President in mind and soul there has ever been and this is shown in his appointments over and over. To say otherwise is scandalously untrue.

Uh-huh....sure....I guess I believe you, Ben Stein, because you almost kind of used to be a celebrity!

Actions, buddy. They speak louder than words. Bush has abandoned the black population of America, literally and figuratively. His economic policies have left them in the dust, he refuses to even meet with some of their largest and most respected organizations (like the NAACP), and when an area in which they make up near 90% of the population needs him during a massive natural disaster, he's too busy hanging out with country singers and holding press conferences to do anything.

8.) George Bush is rushing every bit of help he can to New Orleans and Mississippi and Alabama as soon as he can. He is not a magician. It takes time to organize huge convoys of food and now they are starting to arrive. That they get in at all considering the lawlessness of the city is a miracle of bravery and organization.

Yeah, he's rushing in now two weeks later when we're all paying attention. Before he realized there was gonna be a lot of publicity, he was happy enough riding his bike and clearing brush.

No one's denying the efforts now that there are juicy Halliburton contracts to be had. This is just another Straw Man. Why won't Stein deal with the real issues? The fact that the initial government response was so weak?

9.) There is not the slightest evidence at all that the war in Iraq has diminished the response of the government to the emergency. To say otherwise is pure slander.

Lies! Lies! All lies!

From Salon:

On Aug. 1, a spokesman for the Louisiana National Guard lamented to a local reporter that the state might be stretched for security personnel in the event of a big hurricane. Dozens of high-water vehicles, generators and Humvees were employed in Iraq, along with 3,000 Louisiana National Guard troops.

"The National Guard needs that equipment back home to support the homeland security mission," the Louisiana National Guard's Lt. Col. Pete Schneider told a reporter from WGNO, the ABC affiliate in New Orleans. Schneider said that in the event of a hurricane, Louisiana would need help from neighboring states.

Amid the Gulf Coast rubble and looting, it appears Schneider may have been right. "Missing personnel is the big thing in this particular event -- we need our people," Lt. Andy Thaggard, a Mississippi National Guard spokesman told the Washington Post Wednesday. Mississippi has 4,000 National Guard troops in Iraq.

And from the Washington Post:

Mississippi has requested troops and aircraft from about eight other states -- including military police and engineers from Alabama, helicopters and crews from Arkansas and Georgia, and aircraft-maintenance experts from Connecticut, who are filling in for a Mississippi maintenance unit that is heading to the Middle East.

"This is the biggest disaster we've ever had, so we're going to need more aircraft than we've got," said Col. Bradly S. MacNealy, the Mississippi Army National Guard's aviation officer. Mississippi has had to borrow from Arkansas UH-60 Black Hawk helicopters fitted with hoists, using them together with the Coast Guard to pluck to safety several dozen people stranded by floodwaters, he said.

Chinook helicopters from Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi are flying the equivalent of 18 large truckloads of critical supplies -- including ice, water, food and chain saws for road-clearing crews -- to Mississippi's coast, he said.

In Alabama, all the major Guard units activated for the disaster have already served in Iraq, and some still have contingents there, said Alabama Guard spokesman Norman Arnold.
Capt. Richard Locke of the Guard's 1st Battalion 167th Infantry headed toward Mobile yesterday with a force of 400 soldiers cobbled together from four units because the rest of the battalion is in Iraq.

Carrying M-16 rifles and 9mm pistols, the soldiers are assigned to control traffic at unlighted intersections, and patrol in Humvees and on foot to prevent looting.

Recruiting and retention problems are worsening the strain on Guard forces in hurricane-ravaged states. Alabama's Army National Guard has a strength of 11,000 troops -- or 78 percent of the authorized number. "We're just losing too many out the back door," Arnold said.

Folks, you don't even need to cite sources to counter this stupid argument. Right now, the affected states have over 6,000 National Guard troops stationed in Iraq. Considering one of the primary tasks of the National Guard is to help out in case of a natural disaster, it's common sense that these men would now be stationed in the Gulf Coast, helping out with Katrina relief. Therefore, the fact they are in Iraq has weakened their response to the disaster.

Also, let's not forget that money that was diverted from levee repair in 2003 to go to...yes, the Iraq War.

So, Ben Stein's column is just a pack of stupid lies that can obviously be debunked with about 10 minutes of Googling. I take it all back...maybe he is stupid.

10.) If the energy the news media puts into blaming Bush for an Act of God worsened by stupendous incompetence by the New Orleans city authorities and the malevolence of the criminals of the city were directed to helping the morale of the nation, we would all be a lot better off.

Here, "helping the morale of the nation" is code for "praising any fool thing the president does." I don't know why we all have to be so cautious not to offend the President. Is he so juvenile that he needs constant praise and can't handle any criticism at all?

11.) New Orleans is a great city with many great people. It will recover and be greater than ever. Sticking pins into an effigy of George Bush that does not resemble him in the slightest will not speed the process by one day.
Again, this condescending claptrap, designed to make you think he's not a rabid senseless ideologue, when he clearly is. Of course Ben thinks New Orleans will be better than ever...there will be 10,000 or so less black people!

12.) The entire episode is a dramatic lesson in the breathtaking callousness of government officials at the ground level. Imagine if Hillary Clinton had gotten her way and they were in charge of your health care.

Ben really took that "blame the locals" meme to heart. And he manages to get in a dig at Hillary Clinton as well! See, this isn't the fault of the federal government at all, because Bush is in charge, but if Hillary Clinton was in charge and the governemnt failed its citizens reprehensibly, it would be all because of her stupid policies!

God bless all of those dear people who are suffering so much, and God bless those helping them, starting with George Bush.

Oh, man, I am now officially nauseated. I think Ben Stein seriously has a man-crush on the president. G-ross.

That was the original article in its entirety. Unfortunately, Stein decided to add an "update" with more of his essential thoughts on the subject. They are just as, if not more, stupid. Most are too stupid and offensive to even reprint here. But here's a highlight.

What special abilities does the media have for deciding how much blame goes to the federal government as opposed to the city government of New Orleans for the aftereffects of Katrina?

He seems to insist that any offering of opinion from anyone in the media on this issue is unwarranted and ill-advised. What "special abilities" does the media have? The fact that they're the fucking media, you jackass! How about "the ability to communicate information to millions of people at a time," for starters?

Where did the idea come from that salvation comes from hatred and criticism and mockery instead of love and co-operation?

What? Did Ben forget to take his pills? No one is saying that salvation comes from hatred. SALVATION DOESN'T COME. These people were dying in the streets and no one did a thing, and now that some people are starting to ask "why," Ben tells them to stop all the hatin' and start loving one another! Hey, man, that's swell...All the refugees should just stand up proudly, wipe some of the feces and vomit off of themselves, shake their elderly relatives to make sure they're still breathing, join hands and start singing Beatles songs. That will make everything better!

Plus, it would make George Bush feel better about himself. And isn't that what our national discourse is really all about?