The Rainbow Flag Connection

100 million thank you's to Pendagon for linking this adorable "Dear Abby" column. How this young, male liberal blogger came to read this "Dear Abby" column I leave to you, the reader, to decide.

A woman writes "Dear Abby" concerned because her neighbor has put up a rainbow flag on their home. The rainbow flag, of course, representing - mother of God - gay rights. Yes, a symbol of gay pride in a decent, suburban neighborhood. You can imagine her outrage...

Because we have a lot of families with young children who do not need to be subjected to that kind of thing, I have asked him numerous times to remove it.

His response is it's a free country and he does not subject anybody to his lifestyle.

Yes, that kind of thing repulses me, too. Can you imagine? Multi-colored flags representing abstract socio-political goals. Disgusting.

I strongly feel that in a neighborhood devoted to children's morals and the way life should be, he should not be allowed to have that flag in his front yard for everyone to see. I threatened if he didn't take it down, I'd call the police. I feel it's harming the children to see that flag flying, especially on a busy street that everyone travels on. What should I do? -- RIGHTEOUS IN NEW CASTLE, PA.

Righteous is understating it. Maniacally self-involved and delusional would be somewhat more appropriate.

I'd like to first point out that Abby actually lets the woman have it in her response.

Rather than picking a fight about something so insignificant, you should concentrate on cultivating your own garden and stop obsessing about what's going on in his.

Folksy as always, but accurate.

I'm just fascinated by the truly twisted, confused mind that would produce this kind of anti-gay hysteria. The way this woman views the world is completely 100% delusional.

Think about it. This is the thought process her brain took:

(1) I see a rainbow flag
(2) Rainbow flags represent gay pride
(3) Therefore, the men in that house are gay
(4) Gay men have buttsex with one another
(5) Gay buttsex is wrong
(6) Children must not have gay buttsex
(7) If children see that flag, they will know it represents gay pride
(8) If children find out about gay pride, they will start having gay buttsex
(8) Therefore, that flag will cause children to have gay buttsex
(9) Therefore, the flag must be taken down

Wow. That's complicated. And stupid. Really, really stupid.