Nearly Half of U.S. Made Up of Dumb Racists

Yes, I'm afraid that's according to a nationwide poll out of Cornell University.

No, actually, here's what the report really says:

Nearly half of all Americans believe the U.S. government should restrict the civil liberties of Muslim Americans, according to a nationwide poll.

I mean, that makes sense, right? The guys who flew planes into the World Trade Center were dirty Arabs. So why shouldn't we just throw all Arabs in jail? Then, no one will be out and about and ready to fly a plane into a building. Brilliant!

And you get three guesses as to which Americans overwhelmingly favored the "kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out" approach to domestic policy...Was it the blue staters who "hate America" and worship Michael Moore and drink mysterious beverages known only as "lattes," or was it the good all-American red staters who love Jesus' philosophy and respect his teachings and just want to raise their kids in a nice, safe, traditional community?

The survey conducted by Cornell University also found that Republicans and people who described themselves as highly religious were more apt to support curtailing Muslims' civil liberties than Democrats or people who are less religious.

Oh. Oops. I guess they skipped over the "Love thy neighbor" part of the Bible and went straight for The Book of Revelations.

But, hey, let's look on the bright side. Maybe all these people who responded to the survey didn't really mean they wanted to seriously restrict Muslim-Americans civil rights. Maybe they misunderstood the question...

The survey showed that 27 percent of respondents supported requiring all Muslim Americans to register where they lived with the federal government. Twenty-two percent favored racial profiling to identify potential terrorist threats. And 29 percent thought undercover agents should infiltrate Muslim civic and volunteer organizations to keep tabs on their activities and fund-raising.

Oh. Dang.