Unfrozen Cavewoman Governor

Everybody!

She used to be a hockey mom...
But now she's the Governor!
Unfrozen Cavewoman Governor

Ladies and gentlemen of the United States, I'm just a hockey mom...When I ran for mayor of my small town, I came to the attention of your Republican strategists due to my reasonably good looks, extreme right-wing ideology and compelling life story, so they unfroze me and made me the Governor.

Your world frightens and confuses me. When I hear that "Freddie Mac" and "Fannie Mae" are in trouble, I think, are these two hyperactive toddlers in need of a time out? I'm just a hockey mom.

But there is one thing I do know...America's fiscal stability is dependent on despoiling the natural beauty of my home state and repealing the death tax permanently. Thank you.

Unfrozen Cavewoman Governor!

[Tune in next week when Unfrozen Cavewoman Governor says...]

Of course I worked for Pat Buchanan and have publicly quoted known anti-Semites. I'm a hockey mom!