General Morons

As part of its "You're a Great American" sweepstakes, GM will be enhancing its brand by associating with none other than radio talk icon Sean Hannity.

Wait, Sean Hannity? The guy who says that voting for Hillary Clinton is the same as voting for Hezbollah? George Bush's cabana boy? Why would an established brand like General goddamn Motors want to connect itself in people's minds to such a third-tier bloviating propagandist?

I mean, okay, if they hired Rush Limbaugh, I'd be disgusted, but it least it would make some sense. He's a divisive figure, but he's also hugely popular. I know Sean has a lot of listeners, but those who aren't listeners either haven't heard of the guy or think he's a fecund, hairy asshole. (The disgusting/colonically-inclined among you will note that an extended metaphor would make Alan Colmes one of the following: hemerrhoid, a fissure, a cyst or the taint.)

GM needs way more customers than Sean Hannity has listeners. So, to my rudimentary non-corporate, grad-school degree in management mind...that doesn't sound like double-plus good strategy for GM.

To stimulate consumer interest in its line of American-built cars, General Motors has turned to radio and Sean Hannity. … Hannity will serve as the spokesperson for GM’s You’re A Great American Car Give-Away, offering radio listeners the chance to pick and win one of five GM vehicles.

Then, Sean's listeners will vote on what form of minority will be run over with the new car. Will it bethe lazy, shiftless black victim of Hurricane Katrina? The dirty broder-jumping Mexican? The wild-eyed kill-crazy Arab? The limp-wristed lisping queer? GM's leaving that part up to you, Good Americans!

Perhaps you think I'm overstating my case. I mean, the guy's a nationally-syndicated radio personality and one of the faces of the once-dominant Fox News Channel. Why shouldn't he get an endorsement deal like anyone else?

Let's just take a quick look at Media Matters for the retort to this fictional challenge I have presented just now to myself...

- August 30th, 2006: Hannity says that keeping Democrat Nancy Pelosi from becoming Speaker of the House is "worth dying for."

- August 24th, 2006: Hannity claims that a Democratic victory in November would be a victory for "terrorists."

- March 26th, 2006 (this is when they start to get really good): Hannity argues that the media's not reporting on all the good news from Iraq!

- March 6th, 2006: Hannity argues that there are no innocent prisoners being held at Guantanamo Bay. Because, you know, he would know.

- November 21st, 2005: Hannity repeats false rumor about Democrats throwing Oreos at Maryland's black Republican lieutenant governor. (This story is so awesome. This guy, Michael Steele, and some Republican pundits claimed that young liberals threw a massive barrage of Oreos at him during a debate while he was still on the campaign. A little research, however, shows that no news reports of the debate included any information about Oreos. Which would be strange, you know, were he actually pelted with cookies. I don't remember where I read this, but a few months later, when he was asked about the incident, Steele actually claimed that it wasn't a lot of Oreos being actually thrown at him, and that in fact he didn't see any airborne Oreos at all, but that as he left the stage, he notices some Oreos lying at his feet. Hilarious.)

- October 12th, 2005: Hannity repeats ludicrous, impossible-to-prove Republican claim that 70% of al-Qaida have been captured as fact.

- September 27th, 2005: Sean and Ann Coulter dispute a claim that Pat Tillman was a Noam Chomsky fan made in print by the boy's own mother.

- June 21st, 2005: Sean invites to his program author Edward Klein, whose scathing and, of course, largely fictional book about Hillary Clinton was deemed unworthy of Bill O'Reilly's show. He likewise pledges that keeping Hillary from becoming President will heretofore be a major function of his show.

- June 8th, 2005: As part of an ongoing series of editorials and debates, Sean defends prisoner abuse and torture at Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib.

- March 16th, 2005: Hannity says guns "are only dangerous in the hands of a criminal."

- February 15th, 2005: Hannity doesn't imply but boldly states that he doesn't believe John Kerry actually saw combat in Vietnam.

- February 2nd, 2005: Hannity admits to having close ties to the Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson, including his position on the board of Peterson's Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny (BOND).

Let's take a look at some of Peterson's thoughts...

Last week, I wrote in this space that it was the lack of moral character and dependence on government that cost blacks when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, not President Bush or racism. Since then, I've been deluged by e-mails – overwhelmingly positive – repeatedly making the same point: I said what white Americans know to be true, but are afraid to say.

This confirmed what I've known for a long time: Everyone knows most of black America is screwed up – immoral, dependent, weak – but so few are able to say so. Unfortunate as that is, it is reassuring that we all know the truth. With this in mind, I would like to make the case that all Americans – black and white – should tell the truth when it comes to race and morality.

Yikes.

It should come as no surprise that the homosexual lobby has launched a campaign to use black America for its pernicious purpose of promoting same-sex "marriage." Blacks have proven time and again to be a useful tool in promoting the sick desires of black leaders, the Democratic Party and the elite white feminist movement (yes, most feminists are upper-class angry white women) – why shouldn't radical homosexuals continue the trend?

If we fail at this time to expose the homosexual movement and its malicious goals, then its agenda will carry the day.

Here's the best thing I've read written by noted whackjob Peterson. It's an article for FrontPage.com called, and this is really honestly true, "Kwanzaa: Racist Holiday from Hell."

He spends most of the article villifying the admittedly-bizarre creator of Kwanzaa, UCLA professor Ron Karenga, before launching into a list of reasons no one shoudl celebrate Kwanzaa. Here's an example of the guy's airtight logic.

First of all, as we’ve seen, the whole holiday is made up! You won’t find its roots in Africa or anywhere else. Second, Kwanzaa’s “principles” are straight from Hell. Third, and most importantly, Christians who celebrate or incorporate Kwanzaa are moving their attention away from Christmas, the birth of our Savior, and the simple message of salvation: love for God through his Son. To add or subtract from that message is evil.

Yeah, people! Don't celebrate made-up holidays EVER! It's ungodly. From now on, only enjoy fanciful pretend celebrations of make-believe that are, you know, real. Like Labor Day and Memorial Day and President's Day and stuff.

And this guy is Sean Hannity's close friend and like-minded colleague. I never thought I'd say this, but GM should stick to the commercials they already have, with the trucks and the rocks and the bad CGI. It's not much, but it has got to be better than a ringing endorsement from this guy. You'd be better off signing just about anyone else in the world as a spokesman. What about Kevin Federline! He really should start pulling his own weight in that family anyway!

Seriously, though, if GM is going to go ahead and make Sean Hannity the face of their brand, they ought to go all out and get Peterson and Hannity together as some kind of package deal! I can see the ad now!

"Hey! Are you sick and tired of being a useful tool in promoting the sick desires of the Democratic Party and the elite white feminist movement full of upper-class angry white women? Then come on down and try out our new '07 Saabs!"

[Think Progress likewise points out that the Sean Hannity promotion is playing out in tandem with a series of ads highlighting GM's "American-ness," which include images of Rosa Parks and the victims of Hurricane Katrina. You know, the same victims that Sean's buddy thinks deserved to drown for being immoral.]