Well, Camus Can Do...But Sartre is Smart-ra

Two "Simpsons" references in one day. Neeeeeeeeeeeeerd!

(Three "Simpsons" references in one day...)

Anyway, our President went and read hisself a book during his vacation, it seems. I guess, after finally finishing that one about the goat, he was ready to move on to something more meaty, because he chose Albert Camus' The Stranger.

I'm kind of divided on this. On the one hand, the President read something. That's terrific. Reading comprehension is one of the most important skills a president can have. I mean, if Bush had been a more avid reader in the months before 9/11, maybe he would have read one of those memos that kept whizzing by his desk with ominous titles referencing known terrorists. I think it was something like...Bin Laden determined to attack inside U.S.?

And he didn't just read a book, he read a difficult one. And one that's not even gooey or religious or a bestseller. I would have expected, if Bush was going to let everyone know he read a book, it would be from the Left Behind series. Or The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. Or that financial bestseller...what was it called?...Rich Dad, Egregiously Super-Rich Dad?

Still, I have reservations. Mainly, I don't believe that Bush actually read a book, which I think in all honesty is a task beyond his mental capabilities. He can't string together a complete, rational sentence. If you met someone on the street who spoke in the halting, awkward manner of our president, you'd give him a quarter on the condition that he please not spend it on malt liquor.

All we know is that Bush had quoted Camus in a speech and then Tony Snow claimed Bush read The Stranger while on vacation.

US President George W. Bush quoted French existential writer Albert Camus to European leaders a year and a half ago, and now he's read one of his most famous works: "The Stranger."

White House spokesman Tony Snow said Friday that Bush, here on his Texas ranch enjoying a 10-day vacation from Washington, had made quick work of the Algerian-born writer's 1946 novel -- in English.

The US president, often spoofed as an intellectual lightweight, quoted Camus in a February 21, 2005 speech in Brussels praising the US-Europe alliance and urging other nations to help Washington spread democracy in the world.

"We know there are many obstacles, and we know the road is long. Albert Camus said that 'freedom is a long-distance race.' We're in that race for the duration," Bush said in those remarks.

Let me just say how proud I am to live in a nation where it's international news when the president reads a book they make kids read in high school. "This just in! U.S. President not illiterate! Capable of processing main ideas behind important 20th Century works of fiction! News Flash! 80% of adult Americans report ability to dress themselves! Incidents involving ndividuals urinating on themselves are way down, incidents of simultaneous gum chewing and walking are way up!"

Should we be concerned that the President is reading the works of the French Existentialists? I know that Sartre said he was never depressed a day in his life, but I wouldn't mind our President having a somewhat less bleak worldview. We're talking about a book in which the protagonist learns that the world is cold and indifferent to humankind, and thus our individual actions only matter to ourselves and how we perceive them.

Creepy for a guy with his finger on the button, no? I mean, if Bush were an intelligent guy capable of nuanced thought, I wouldn't have any problem with this at all. Camus' ideas have validity and it's a great book. But Bush is easily influenced and superficial. Would he understand the subtextual philosophies of the novel or just think it's okay to kill Arabs as long as you feel bad afterwards?

I haven't seen anyone mention yet that the plot of this particular novel concerns a white man shooting an Arab man several times in cold blood. I believe The Cure summed it up best in their song named for the novel:

I'm alive/
I'm dead/
I'm a stranger/
Killing an Arab

He's sentenced to die for shooting an Algerian after a fight on the beach and learns prior to his execution to accept the hopelessness of his struggle and to truly come to terms with his own mortality. I want the war president reading something much, much happier than this.

Don't they have any John Grishams in the White House library? Actually, those are all about brilliant young attorneys making good in the world by using their pluck and intellect...So maybe something more relatable. Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiassen? They both write about inept criminals, which sounds about right in terms of relatability...

I just don't think it's true, is all. I don't believe the whole story. I think they want to make it seem like he's not a doofus so they're doing something obvious and lying about his reading habits. I mean, Tony Snow saying something is pretty much evidence that it's bullshit. I'm thinking that might even hold up in court.

"Your honor, Tony Snow said my client's guilty. And then Thomas Friedman indicated that he might agree, but it would take 6 months to be sure."

"Not guilty!"