It appears all night there has been something of an annoying 80's music video battle occupying the Greater Blogosphere. Here are some previous compelling entries. None of those guys read my site, so this can't really be considered a response, but I'm too lazy to otherwise complete a blog post tonight.
So below you may find my responses to the unspoken query: "What's the most horrifically annoying music video ever?" Most entries have been from the 80's, the era of the music video's birth, but this particular early 90's entry can not and will not be ignored.
Yes, it's the inscrutible white rapper Snow. Looking back on this song some 15 years later, it's actually even more ludicrous than I remembered. This guy was always a complete clown. How did he manage to get a record deal? (If you know the answer to this question, please don't actually feel compelled to let me know. It's a rhetorical question.)
I've discussed the best/worst hair metal band of all time, Grim Reaper, on the blog before, but here for the very first time is their Greatest Master Work, "See You in Hell." Note how much the singer resembles Jack Black. What I like most about this video is how enthusiastic the guy seems about seeing you in hell. I usually think of the phrase as having a negative connotation. It's like what you'd say before shivving a dude in prison in order to get in good with the skinheads.
"See you in hell, Martinez!" Then you plant him about 20 times in the kidney and walk back into the cafeteria line, all nonchalant-like.
But no, this guy's singing the lyric like he's making a dinner reservation with an old friend.
Okay, we'll meet in the Pit of Sulfur at 9!/
See you there, a-migo!
So excited is he about seeing you in Hell, it's pretty much the only words in the entire song. At about the 2 minute mark, he just starts chanting "See you...See you...See you..." like a mantra. Perhaps these guys were not just using implied devil worship as a hoary gimmick to attract fatalistic teenagers. Maybe they're genuinely trying to contact some kind of Dark Spirit by getting fans to chant "see you in hell." Or maybe they're just goofy old creatively bankrupt morons. Either way, their loss is your gain.
Our final entry tonight is definitely the most painful. I urge you not to actually watch the video for Phil Collins' "Sussudio." Surely there's something more positive and uplifting you could do with your time. Why not slit your wrists? Or hurt a small animal?
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