American Idol's Randy Jackson Reviews the Classics of Western Literature

What's up, y'all in the Dawg Pound! Randy Jackson here to give you the 411 on all the hottest novels in the Western canon. That's right, dude. Didn't know your boy Randy studied, right? Yeah yeah! Woof woof woof!



A-ight, let's get it going here with our first selection, Charles Dickens' Great Expectations.



This was only a-ight for me, dawg. Only a-ight for me. You got Pip, he was doing his thang. It's all good. Miss Havisham is working it out. You know how she do. I don't know, dude, it was pretty good, you know what I'm saying? It was just a-ight for me.

Okay, next is Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude.



I been a fan of Big Gabe's from the beginning. You know I got much love for magical realism. I think this might be Marquez's best book yet, dude. He really stepped up his game, left it all out there on the page, man. When that gypsy comes to town and shows them a magnet...I'm feelin' you, dawg. I feel you.

And now for our final selection, Thomas Hardy's Tess of the D'Urbervilles.



I don't know, dude...This wasn't really Hardy's best performance. Kind of pitchy in the middle there, kind of lost his way a bit. He might have just been nervous. The fictional region of "Wessex" is brought to life more fully in other Hardy novels, such as The Mayor of Castorbridge. Some of these other Victorian modernists, dawg, they are really bringing their A game, you dig what I'm saying? Gotta try to ramp it up if you want to stay in this competition.

A-ight, that's it for this time, y'all. Stay up. This is Randy Jackson, sending you much love. Join me next time, when I'll be looking at Hanif Kureishi's The Buddha of Suburbia and Proust's À la recherche du temps perdu. Peace, I'm out.