Did You Get Your Confirmation Notice...Mine Came in the Mail Today

It's a seriously boring day online. I got home from work, watched the end of Goldfinger with my roommate, and then poked around for something to blog about and came up with nothing. In desperation, I wrote about Syriana, which I was going to hold off discussing because there's been, like, 20 movie posts in a row and I hate to get repetitive like that.

Anyway, the only thing everyone's talking about is Judge Alito and his confirmation hearings. I find this stuff extremely boring, really. I mean, yes, Alito is a wacko ideologue who will pull the SCOTUS rightward, so I'd rather not see him confirmed. (That case okaying the strip-search on the young girl was all I needed to hear, but all the stuff at that Think Progress link is pretty damning...)

But, like Matthew Yglesias, I kind of think it's pointless for Democrats to make a big show of opposing Alito. I mean, he'll be confirmed...There's not enough there for Democrats to shut down the nomination, and we all know it.

I mean, yes, Alito may very well turn out to be a biased, shitbird judge who will vote in the most vile way possible on a lot of key issues. But we don't want to turn the confirmation process into some kind of elaborate theater, designed to churn out the prospective judge who can best lie around his record and smooth-talk his way through the process. It's far more important to consider what's happening at the end of this year, and focus on how best to get way more Democrats elected, so something awful like Strip Search Sammy's move to the Supreme Court doesn't ever happen again.

So, that's really my take on the whole Alito thing. Not much more to say about that, is there? Oh, yes, wait, except this, which is totally the best thing I've read about the entire process thus far:

Ministers Say They BlessedSeats Ahead of Alito Hearing

I love mass delusion. Nothing makes better blog fodder.

Insisting that God "certainly needs to be involved" in the Supreme Court confirmation process, three Christian ministers today blessed the doors of the hearing room where Senate Judiciary Committee members will begin considering the nomination of Judge Samuel Alito on Monday.

Someone please explain...If God is all powerful, and can manipulate anything he wants at will, why would he need 3 ministers to dip oil on some seats in a hearing room in order to alter the outcome of a legal proceeding?

Doesn't that kind of limit my power.

"Oh, Lord, I beseech thee, please let Samuel Alito be confirmed by the Senate, and thus move to the Supreme Court, where he might exercize your Divine Will."

"Well, yeah, guys, I'd love to help you with that...but I can't change the outcome of the Senate."

"But, you're God...Surely you can influence politicians, right?"

"Yeah, but only if you put a little of this sacred oil on their seats."

"Wow, really?"

"Yes...I can change the thought processes within men's minds, using my special magic skills, but only if you put some of my secret sauce on their ass beforehand."

Capitol Hill police barred them from entering the room to continue what they called a consecration service. But in a bit of one-upsmanship, the three announced that they had let themselves in a day earlier, touching holy oil to the seats where Judge Alito, the senators, witnesses, Senate staffers and the press will sit, and praying for each of the 13 committee members by name.

"We did adequately apply oil to all the seats," said the Rev. Rob Schenck, who identified himself as an evangelical Christian and as president of the National Clergy Council in Washington.

I'm reassured that they applied oil adequately to the seats. Can you imagine if they didn't use enough? Alito's confirmation might then rely on the Democratic principles that govern our nation, rather than being magically pre-determined by an invisible Sky Deity using enchanted oils. Oh, the horror.

I also like how they were not permitted to go into the room, and then bragged about going in anyway! Way to go, 3 ministers! Way to set a great example for your respective congregations. "See, breaking the law is wrong, unless God wants you to oil up some seats to indirectly influence an important Senate proceeding. In that case, you know, open season. Go for it. We killed three security guards getting in, also, they just haven't found the bodies yet. And you know what...God doesn't give a shit! We got to get this motherfucker on to the Supreme Court, like now."

The three ministers insisted they weren't taking sides in the Alito debate. "This is not a pro-Alito prayer," insisted the Rev. Patrick Mahoney, director of the Christian Defense Coalition. With abortion, public prayer, gay marriage and right-to-life issues among those topping public debate, however, "God…is interested in what goes on" in the nomination hearing, Rev. Schenck said.

Wait, so the seat-goo isn't actually supposed to alter the course of the debate. It's just so God, apparently, can listen in to the proceedings. Apparently, The Lord doesn't have C-SPAN and can't get his hands on any press credentials. Which is surprising, considering how popular his monthy Details column has become.

And since when was anointing things in oil a surveillance technique? I thought it was just to render something more holy or whatever. Is this what the NSA was doing all this time?

"Agent Franklin, we want you to go into Christiane Amanpour's office and dab some of this oil on to her chair...Don't ask questions, just do it, and remember, if you're captured, we'll deny any knowledge of your existence, and pretend to think the use of holy oil is completely retarded."