Bill O'Reilly Hates Christmas

And, by extension, Jesus. And, therefore, you.

I mean, what else can we surmise from this delightful item, compliments of Sadly, No!, a great blog that became even greater today by posting this.

Folks, this is the most wonderful thing I have seen all day. It has been kind of a crummy day so far, what with the emergency root canal surgery this afternoon. But the day is saved by the stupidity of America's Favorite Assclown, Bill O'Reilly.

As you probably know by now, if you have been paying attention, O'Reilly is very very upset with all of us for not celebrating Christmas enough. Media Matters posted today some clips from his show on November 28th that demonstrate his growing insanity. Check this shit out:

[Y]ou use your left-wing smear websites to go after anybody who stands up for Christmas. If you stand up for Christmas, they come after you. So the tandem intimidates. The tandem intimidates. Suing on one hand; smearing on the other hand.

What in God's holy name is he blathering about? Tell me, who isn't standing up for Christmas? Everyone Christian person I see, all day, is fucking aglow with Christmas wonder right about now. You know how often Christmas With the Kranks rents at the video store? Do you want to know how often fucking Christmas With the Kranks is renting? Way way way more than any Tim Allen comedy should be, I'll tell you that much!

But it just keeps going on:

In every secular progressive country, they've wiped out religion ... Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Mao Zedong, Fidel Castro, all of them. That's the first step. Get the religion out of there, so that we can impose our big-government, progressive agenda.

I don't know what's more confusing...That he's comparing Americans who say "Happy Holidays" with Nazis or that he's calling Hitler a "secular progressive." I mean, whether or not all those famous evil Commies were progressives is, I would say, certainly still up for debate...At least they all share a general political outlook. But Hitler? He's about as non-progressive as you can get without actually inventing a time machine to return your entire nation to an earlier historical era.

I mean, come on, Bill...You at least got a G.E.D., right?

Anyway, that bullshit isn't why I asked you all to meet me here. I promised you something highly amusing. So, bearing in mind O'Reilly's gung-ho love of all things Noel-oriented, isn't it interesting that this is the catalog item for his O'Reilly Factor tree ornaments?

Holiday Ideas

Put your holiday tree in "The No Spin Zone" with this silver glass "O'Reilly Factor" ornament.

Holiday tree? What the hell is a holiday tree? He means, Christmas Tree, everybody! The secular progressives have finally "gotten to" Billy O! What will the Tiny Tim-esque Christmas-loving children do now? To whom will they turn? Surely not John Gibson, that guy looks like an insect.